The last few weeks I've been seeing a lot of rude responses to posts........each time I saw one I wanted to respond and ask "WTH is your problem?"......but knew that would just add to the drama, and I think that's what those folks are seeking anyway......So I found this "Rant" section and decided this would be the place to express my low opinion of those posters that seem to think that name calling and talking down to people is the way to respond to posts on a support forum....I see this type of response most often from some of the long timers. I'm not going to name names, because I know you know who you are because it is obvious it is done intentionally.....My advice to those folks, is if you're no longer able to provide support without being sarcastic, maybe it's time you move on with your life and just leave the forum and find something you're good at......It's great to have long timers here that will share their experiences with newbies because it is priceless when shared appropriately.....but if you don't know how to do it in a way that is supportive, you're only being hurtful and may actually cause someone not to ask a future question for fear they will be attached for being stupid......

That's the end of my rant.............As Ellen says at the end of all her shows............"Be kind to one another"

I can't believe anyone who has been on the internet more than five minutes would whine or complain about other peoples behavior, on the internet.

Boggles the mind.

On the internet, I say exactly what I would, and have, said in person. Not everyone likes me. I would be afraid if everyone did.

I like you.

And I concur with the in person thing. What you see is basically what you get with me. But that comes from being an old hag. I seriously could give a flying toot whether people like me or not.

OK, you want to rumble?

I completely disagree with your take on @@LipstickLady .

She is my friend because she has been great to me. When I was a newbie here (a few years ago), Lipstick gave me so much good advice I have never forgotten it.

One bit of advice was: "Don't waste your first six months post-op, which are a magic time for weight loss. You will never lose weight again as fast as you can during this early period after your WLS.

Another bit of good advice she offered was something you haven't quite grasped yet: "Take the good you find here, leave the rest."

A third bit of good advice she has always given is: "Don't assume your experience is a universal WLS experience -- it's just your experience. Therefore, don't go around telling everyone that your experience is what they should expect."

Finally, here is some advice from ME to the newbies who have gotten their tits caught in a wringer about the "tone" of this message board:

1. Try to lighten the f**k up. I know many of you are pre-op and going through your pre-op jitters. All the veterans understand what that was like. But trust me, not everyone here made others' lives miserable just because we had the jitters.

2. Finally, this will shock the hell out of some of you, but nobody who posts on this message board is here to serve your needs. No matter whether we're pre-op or five years post-op, most of us are here to help ourselves. Yes, we reach out to others with support from time to time, but nobody here is your mommy or your daddy. Every single person here has a plateful of challenges -- whether it's getting through the pre-op diet or struggling with regain or caring for a family member who has cancer or working for the world's worst boss or trying to overcome a transfer addiction or raising our grandchildren. YOU are not the center of OUR universes. WE are.

I want to like and unlike this 5000x to spam your notifications with likes so you can fully comprehend how much I like this.

Do you, like, get me?

I want to like and unlike this 5000x to spam your notifications with likes so you can fully comprehend how much I like this.

Oooooh! Do me! Do me! Do me!

Ok, this thread's obviously done.

The last few weeks I've been seeing a lot of rude responses to posts........each time I saw one I wanted to respond and ask "WTH is your problem?"......but knew that would just add to the drama, and I think that's what those folks are seeking anyway......So I found this "Rant" section and decided this would be the place to express my low opinion of those posters that seem to think that name calling and talking down to people is the way to respond to posts on a support forum....I see this type of response most often from some of the long timers. I'm not going to name names, because I know you know who you are because it is obvious it is done intentionally.....My advice to those folks, is if you're no longer able to provide support without being sarcastic, maybe it's time you move on with your life and just leave the forum and find something you're good at......It's great to have long timers here that will share their experiences with newbies because it is priceless when shared appropriately.....but if you don't know how to do it in a way that is supportive, you're only being hurtful and may actually cause someone not to ask a future question for fear they will be attached for being stupid......

That's the end of my rant.............As Ellen says at the end of all her shows............"Be kind to one another"

I first joined back in October of 2014...pre-sleeve and nervous with so many questions. I found this site to be very helpful from both veterans and newbies and I'm thankful for that. Much like offline life people are gonna be nice and others are just gonna be snarky and rude....and while I may be a New Yorker with thick skin it even irritated me a little...just a little

So I stopped posting and our group made a Facebook page for those sleeved in January of 2016. It's super helpful and we're even planning a little gathering for our 1 year anniversary.

It will never get rid of assholes cuz seriously they're everywhere but I think there's less snark when full names, location and family photos are attached to a profile

P.S. I haven't posted on here in months...and even when I did it was rare. But somehow I knew exactly who you were talking about lol

Chill Hun...don't let them get to you. Snarky trolls have nothing better to do so they sit online all day and post, post, post to get a response from you.

I wish I could eat popcorn!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Me too! I just did a Trader Joes run and they have mango coconut caramel corn. I almost cried when I saw it.

Yes I know this is off topic, but conflict makes me nervous and I babble when nervous.

I met a family of ducks today at the University of Miami campus they weren't old enough to drink beer so I bought them a box of Cereal which they really enjoyed its raining here wow thunder and lightning palm trees swaying now the dog is scared maybe a bone will help has anyone ever tried a lychee they are awesome but so expensive the guy wanted 28 bucks for a big bag so we went with the smaller one

Ok.... Is it over?

If not look at the duckie picture and smile smile smile! :)

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I wish I could eat popcorn!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Me too! I just did a Trader Joes run and they have mango coconut caramel corn. I almost cried when I saw it.

Yes I know this is off topic, but conflict makes me nervous and I babble when nervous.

I met a family of ducks today at the University of Miami campus they weren't old enough to drink beer so I bought them a box of cereal which they really enjoyed its raining here wow thunder and lightning palm trees swaying now the dog is scared maybe a bone will help has anyone ever tried a lychee they are awesome but so expensive the guy wanted 28 bucks for a big bag so we went with the smaller one

Ok.... Is it over?

If not look at the duckie picture and smile smile smile! :) ImageUploadedByBariatricPal1465671082.408363.jpg

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I was just at Trader Joe's this morning where they were giving out samples of the mango coconut popcorn. It was a little cup of magic. Oh my goodness. Bites of bliss. I didn't buy a bag of it precisely because I knew I'd be tempted to eat the whole bag. We did get the mango bar bites and the mango macarons for treats because both are fairly reasonable with their calories, fat, and carbs. The macarons have 15 carbs per serving, but that's for three pretty macarons.

My favorite purchase from the TJ mango mania is a mango tangerine candle. I think it was around $3, and it smells precisely like the Blue Capri Volcano candle at Anthropologie that is $14 for the exact same size. I'm burning it right now, and it's brightening up this day of "June Gloom." I find that delighting other senses helps me to not overindulge in things that make my taste buds sing. Hmmm. I was thinking of making a thread about favorite TJ buys. Maybe I'll go do that now.

I love the pic of the ducks.

The last few weeks I've been seeing a lot of rude responses to posts........each time I saw one I wanted to respond and ask "WTH is your problem?"......but knew that would just add to the drama, and I think that's what those folks are seeking anyway......So I found this "Rant" section and decided this would be the place to express my low opinion of those posters that seem to think that name calling and talking down to people is the way to respond to posts on a support forum....I see this type of response most often from some of the long timers. I'm not going to name names, because I know you know who you are because it is obvious it is done intentionally.....My advice to those folks, is if you're no longer able to provide support without being sarcastic, maybe it's time you move on with your life and just leave the forum and find something you're good at......It's great to have long timers here that will share their experiences with newbies because it is priceless when shared appropriately.....but if you don't know how to do it in a way that is supportive, you're only being hurtful and may actually cause someone not to ask a future question for fear they will be attached for being stupid......

That's the end of my rant.............As Ellen says at the end of all her shows............"Be kind to one another"

I first joined back in October of 2014...pre-sleeve and nervous with so many questions. I found this site to be very helpful from both veterans and newbies and I'm thankful for that. Much like offline life people are gonna be nice and others are just gonna be snarky and rude....and while I may be a New Yorker with thick skin it even irritated me a little...just a little

So I stopped posting and our group made a Facebook page for those sleeved in January of 2016. It's super helpful and we're even planning a little gathering for our 1 year anniversary.

It will never get rid of assholes cuz seriously they're everywhere but I think there's less snark when full names, location and family photos are attached to a profile

P.S. I haven't posted on here in months...and even when I did it was rare. But somehow I knew exactly who you were talking about lol

Chill Hun...don't let them get to you. Snarky trolls have nothing better to do so they sit online all day and post, post, post to get a response from you.

My group actually did the same thing with the Facebook page and you're right it's much much better.......actually my post above was based on my observations on other people's posts......no one had gotten snaky on one of my posts...(until this one) haha......In other words no one has hurt my feelings....after all this is the Internet and I don't even know any of these people............I just feel bad when I see poor new people asking questions and then people responding with snarky replies.......this site was very helpful to me with I first started and I just want it to continue to be helpful to new folks.

I certainly understand what several folks said, that it's just the nature of an Internet forum.....I've been on several and you do see the same type of behavior on all of them..(which is really weird to me...why does that happen?)......I also understand the right thing to do is soak in what you want and filter out the rest...........as hard as it may be for some folks to believe.....I really didn't just fall off a turnip truck...hahaha I have been around the block a time or two!

So bottom line, I found the "rant" section.....had a "rant" on mind.....posted it............and it's gone from me being the sarcastic and rude one to .....sex and snicker bars...LOL...who would have ever thunk it???

It's all good! Like I said in one of my earlier replies, I knew this post would prompt a banter when I posted it...but for me, one day of banter is enough......I can't stay focused on one thing that long.

The last few weeks I've been seeing a lot of rude responses to posts........each time I saw one I wanted to respond and ask "WTH is your problem?"......but knew that would just add to the drama, and I think that's what those folks are seeking anyway......So I found this "Rant" section and decided this would be the place to express my low opinion of those posters that seem to think that name calling and talking down to people is the way to respond to posts on a support forum....I see this type of response most often from some of the long timers. I'm not going to name names, because I know you know who you are because it is obvious it is done intentionally.....My advice to those folks, is if you're no longer able to provide support without being sarcastic, maybe it's time you move on with your life and just leave the forum and find something you're good at......It's great to have long timers here that will share their experiences with newbies because it is priceless when shared appropriately.....but if you don't know how to do it in a way that is supportive, you're only being hurtful and may actually cause someone not to ask a future question for fear they will be attached for being stupid......

That's the end of my rant.............As Ellen says at the end of all her shows............"Be kind to one another"

I first joined back in October of 2014...pre-sleeve and nervous with so many questions. I found this site to be very helpful from both veterans and newbies and I'm thankful for that. Much like offline life people are gonna be nice and others are just gonna be snarky and rude....and while I may be a New Yorker with thick skin it even irritated me a little...just a little

So I stopped posting and our group made a Facebook page for those sleeved in January of 2016. It's super helpful and we're even planning a little gathering for our 1 year anniversary.

It will never get rid of assholes cuz seriously they're everywhere but I think there's less snark when full names, location and family photos are attached to a profile

P.S. I haven't posted on here in months...and even when I did it was rare. But somehow I knew exactly who you were talking about lol

Chill Hun...don't let them get to you. Snarky trolls have nothing better to do so they sit online all day and post, post, post to get a response from you.

My group actually did the same thing with the Facebook page and you're right it's much much better.......actually my post above was based on my observations on other people's posts......no one had gotten snaky on one of my posts...(until this one) haha......In other words no one has hurt my feelings....after all this is the Internet and I don't even know any of these people............I just feel bad when I see poor new people asking questions and then people responding with snarky replies.......this site was very helpful to me with I first started and I just want it to continue to be helpful to new folks.

I certainly understand what several folks said, that it's just the nature of an Internet forum.....I've been on several and you do see the same type of behavior on all of them..(which is really weird to me...why does that happen?)......I also understand the right thing to do is soak in what you want and filter out the rest...........as hard as it may be for some folks to believe.....I really didn't just fall off a turnip truck...hahaha I have been around the block a time or two!

So bottom line, I found the "rant" section.....had a "rant" on mind.....posted it............and it's gone from me being the sarcastic and rude one to .....sex and snicker bars...LOL...who would have ever thunk it???

It's all good! Like I said in one of my earlier replies, I knew this post would prompt a banter when I posted it...but for me, one day of banter is enough......I can't stay focused on one thing that long.

Sounds good to me????

Enjoy your Saturday and keep kicking ass.

I myself come to these threads for the entertainment value! Wouldn't miss em for the world!!!

haha I actually think that may be the whole reason I posted the original post.....I'll be 4 weeks post op on Monday and think I'm having a hormonal dump and just needed a good snarky pissy conversation...hahaha

No surprise there.

@@BigViffer what on Earth gives you the right to talk down to someone with any kind of question. Stupid, lazy, whatever the question is. Life is about being compassionate with others, and maybe you were less "lazy" than the new person, but you really think that's necessary? I've been for a year and 1/2 researching about the Gastric Sleeve. I've read book, instructional material, I've called friends of mine that they are doctors to make sure that this is the right decision, why? Because I'm a mother and a wife and I can't make any mistakes regarding the information, so yes, maybe they've been tons of time that I've made silly question (in your perspective) and it would absolutely heart break me if someone answers me back with a rude answer. It would not only do that, it would also reflect the kind of person that I don't want to become so maybe I won't even do the surgery. I think in life, there's absolutely not even one reason to be rude about anything.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

How the heck are you going to help yourself if there's just rude people talking down and making the group a negative one? @@summerset?

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Agreed. Just answer the question. Or...if the question irritates you that much, just keep scrolling.

Agreed. Just answer the question. Or...if the question irritates you that much, just keep scrolling.

I don't know about this... i try to be understanding most of the time.. and usually post how MY experience was in regards to the question...

But.... sometimes the question is sooooo silly or dangerous that some "tough love" is in order... sometimes i just want to virtually grab someone by the shoulders and shake them.... lol

Yes, we are here to support each other and share experiences... but i will never be the enabler who pats someone on the back saying "there, there little one, i support the fact that you are 2 days post op and trying to eat a huge steak wrapped in a bread roll, smoking and eating a celery stick"

I personally think thats counterproductive... its dangerous and risky... and why on earth someone would test their sleeve that early like that is beyond me! .. therefore i will never be supportive of something like that.

If the person can not take thr basic personal responsibility for their health by understanding the requirements... then they shouldn't complain when someone points out it is wrong.... but majority of the time the poster gets offended... lol the mind boggles

@@BigViffer what on Earth gives you the right to talk down to someone with any kind of question. Stupid, lazy, whatever the question is. Life is about being compassionate with others, and maybe you were less "lazy" than the new person, but you really think that's necessary? I've been for a year and 1/2 researching about the Gastric Sleeve. I've read book, instructional material, I've called friends of mine that they are doctors to make sure that this is the right decision, why? Because I'm a mother and a wife and I can't make any mistakes regarding the information, so yes, maybe they've been tons of time that I've made silly question (in your perspective) and it would absolutely heart break me if someone answers me back with a rude answer. It would not only do that, it would also reflect the kind of person that I don't want to become so maybe I won't even do the surgery. I think in life, there's absolutely not even one reason to be rude about anything.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Why are you calling out @@BigViffer - he didn't talk down to anyone???!! You are barking up the wrong tree! If you are that insecure that a comment made by some stranger online is going to break your heart and potentially change your mind about surgery - you need to get help. It certainly doesn't seem you have what it takes to go through WLS if you are that sensitive. This is an internet forum - people have different personalities - that's life! It's nonsense posts like this that ends up pissing me off enough to get rude.