The last few weeks I've been seeing a lot of rude responses to posts........each time I saw one I wanted to respond and ask "WTH is your problem?"......but knew that would just add to the drama, and I think that's what those folks are seeking anyway......So I found this "Rant" section and decided this would be the place to express my low opinion of those posters that seem to think that name calling and talking down to people is the way to respond to posts on a support forum....I see this type of response most often from some of the long timers. I'm not going to name names, because I know you know who you are because it is obvious it is done intentionally.....My advice to those folks, is if you're no longer able to provide support without being sarcastic, maybe it's time you move on with your life and just leave the forum and find something you're good at......It's great to have long timers here that will share their experiences with newbies because it is priceless when shared appropriately.....but if you don't know how to do it in a way that is supportive, you're only being hurtful and may actually cause someone not to ask a future question for fear they will be attached for being stupid......

That's the end of my rant.............As Ellen says at the end of all her shows............"Be kind to one another"

I am sticking with all you wonderful, bullying, foul mouthed, tyrannical, well informed, humorous bastards who post on this forum. You've served me well thus far and quite frankly, if it ain't broken then I ain't going to fiddle fixing it.

I prefer sticking with the wonderful, bullying, foul mouthed, tyrannical, well informed, humorous bastards who post on this forum. Served me well thus far.

Edited June 12, 201610 yr by summerset

@@jintycb

Thank you for sharing this.

Edited June 12, 201610 yr by 4MRB4PHOTO

Then I realized how bizarre this whole thread has become. I guess a random drive by pie in the face is to be expected.

Again, though, just like with VSGAnn2014.....BigViffer is one of the most supportive members here. I simply can't imagine her getting her panties in a wad over anything he's said.

yup ^^^ this. I look forward to his posts, he is very a very helpful member here.

This thread started out as a person expressing their opinion, it turned into exactly what he was expressing his opinion about... Masking plain old nasty comment with tough love doesn't make them any less nasty... As others have said if you can't offer advice or support than don't participate in that thread... Maybe create a thread to exchange nasty snippy comments amongst one another...

"We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them"

Einstein

Blimey! This has been an interesting read on this lovely Sunday morning, and just because Dub mentioned something on another post. It got my curiosity (OK, big standard nosey) antenna twitching! Thought that I'd add my two pennyworth for what it's worth.

I'm Jinty, and I'm an alcoholic. There, I've said it. I've been sober for 12 years with, for the first six years the help of AA meetings and other recovering alcoholics. I received a lot of tough love, common sense advice and several kicks up the arse to get me on the sobriety track. I DIDN'T get mollycoddled, fuzzy love and cuddles or any other pussyfooting nonsense. That is why I am sober today. There were plenty of perfectly nice drunks who went to meetings but who expected their sobriety to come from someone else. Those people usually went back out, back on the piss and a few of them are now dead. They often thought that the old timers with long term sobriety were too tough. They would form their little groups and have their pity parties, commiserate and then pick up a drink. I saw it happen time and time again. I stuck with the winners. Those who had been around for a few years. I stayed well away from newbies who thought that they knew it all because again, many of them fell off the wagon (and back into the gutter) because of their arrogance.

I have a great life because of my sobriety and it's getting even better now that I have taken drastic action to deal with my food addiction in the form of a VSG. To ensure that I keep going in the right direction, I am sticking with all you wonderful, bullying, foul mouthed, tyrannical, well informed, humorous bastards who post on this forum. You've served me well thus far and quite frankly, if it ain't broken then I ain't going to fiddle fixing it.

You come sit right next to me! Anytime.

@@BigViffer what on Earth gives you the right to talk down to someone with any kind of question. Stupid, lazy, whatever the question is. Life is about being compassionate with others, and maybe you were less "lazy" than the new person, but you really think that's necessary? I've been for a year and 1/2 researching about the Gastric Sleeve. I've read book, instructional material, I've called friends of mine that they are doctors to make sure that this is the right decision, why? Because I'm a mother and a wife and I can't make any mistakes regarding the information, so yes, maybe they've been tons of time that I've made silly question (in your perspective) and it would absolutely heart break me if someone answers me back with a rude answer. It would not only do that, it would also reflect the kind of person that I don't want to become so maybe I won't even do the surgery. I think in life, there's absolutely not even one reason to be rude about anything.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Well... this is so far out of left field I had to go back through my comments to see what in the hell you are talking about. So perhaps you are talking about my posts or threads I made when I was a new member of the site. I still stand by my observations from that time, so I'll take your judgement. I could go into a long tirade designed to insult and belittle you like you tried to do to me, however I honestly don't think you are strong enough to take it. You sound as though you are holding on by a thread as it is. If a rude answer is enough to break your heart, I would hollow you out with a well thought out retort.

In all seriousness and with no malice in my words, you need help. You are right to question whether you should have the surgery; you don't sound as if you are mentally and/or emotionally strong enough to handle the tumultuous months post surgery.

Edited June 12, 201610 yr by BigViffer

@KristenLe @Dub - I'm glad you two were as confused as I. I seriously was left scratching my head!

Edited June 12, 201610 yr by BigViffer

@@jintycb

You're good people.

@@jintycb

You're good people.

Stop trying to steal my new seat mate.

In real life, you don't like everyone you meet,and news flash....not everyone likes you. Who the hell cares, shut up and move on..geez

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Just think how awful it's going to get when the hand-held, safe-zone, helicopter-parented, everyone-gets-a-trophy-just-for-showing-up kids start showing up demanding "support" from the forum.

Oh wait, I've already seen posts like that here... shucks.

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

In real life, you don't like everyone you meet,and news flash....not everyone likes you. Who the hell cares, shut up and move on..geez

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Bamsucka !!!!!!

There ya go. Well said.

Now....off to grab a shower and go to a job where I have to be all touchy-feely and make nice for everyone......when some of them truly need a swift kick in the arse.

Like a bull in china shop is what I feel like I am at times. Wading though a minefield not trying hurt anyone's feelings. Damn, it gets tiring.

When it comes to things here at BP......I'd rather keep it real. We are tying to get healthy and don't have the luxury of warm blankets and embracing the lack of progress.......we are better than that. We are about getting fit and healthy and that comes with a few bumps and bruises.

Have a great evening, folks. See ya on the flip side.

When it comes to things here at BP......I'd rather keep it real. We are tying to get healthy and don't have the luxury of warm blankets and embracing the lack of progress.......we are better than that. We are about getting fit and healthy and that comes with a few bumps and bruises.

Yup, that's it right there!

Thanks to everyone who has been contributing to this discussion in a positive way. I am sorry this discussion needs to happen at all. I try very hard to maintain a positive environment at BariatricPal.

I do see the overly frequent negative posts, often by veterans. I understand that veterans may not have had the exact same challenges and questions as the current newbies, or that veterans feel they handled those challenges better and got their “own” answers to their questions. Maybe the veterans have (yep, it’s possible!) forgotten the minute to minute anxieties (“Can I eat this?” “Should I feel this?” “What if I didn’t hit my protein?” “Do I need to call my doctor?”) surrounding weight loss surgery. Maybe veterans didn’t have those particular anxieties and questions. Maybe veterans are simply sick of seeing and answering the same questions a million times.

Guess what: you don’t have to answer! Please don’t, if you don’t have a constructive answer to add to the conversation. If you feel a question is “too stupid” for you to answer politely, don’t answer it. You’ll save yourself some time, and you won’t hurt anyone’s feelings. Someone who does feel it’s worth the time to write a helpful, positive answer will get to it eventually.

And I know it’s not just veterans who can be rude. Please, everyone, we are all here for the same reason: to live healthier with whatever support we can get from each other. So what if there are already 105 posts on "can I eat pizza?" If you don't want to answer the 106th post, don't. Don't be rude about it.

Please do report any posts you see as negative or hostile. I won’t tolerate them, and you shouldn’t have to, either.

Thank you, Alex.