The last few weeks I've been seeing a lot of rude responses to posts........each time I saw one I wanted to respond and ask "WTH is your problem?"......but knew that would just add to the drama, and I think that's what those folks are seeking anyway......So I found this "Rant" section and decided this would be the place to express my low opinion of those posters that seem to think that name calling and talking down to people is the way to respond to posts on a support forum....I see this type of response most often from some of the long timers. I'm not going to name names, because I know you know who you are because it is obvious it is done intentionally.....My advice to those folks, is if you're no longer able to provide support without being sarcastic, maybe it's time you move on with your life and just leave the forum and find something you're good at......It's great to have long timers here that will share their experiences with newbies because it is priceless when shared appropriately.....but if you don't know how to do it in a way that is supportive, you're only being hurtful and may actually cause someone not to ask a future question for fear they will be attached for being stupid......

That's the end of my rant.............As Ellen says at the end of all her shows............"Be kind to one another"

The block / ignore function is amazing. Use it. I do.

Or if you're that irritated, just leave.

Please.

MySpace became popular when I was a teen (I know I'm dating myself here, haha), and I learned then that any gathering on the internet will inevitably have some drama, most often either because of people who take pleasure in creating it, the sense of liberty that comes when you're not in a face-to-face situation and feel less guarded and restrained, or simply due to misunderstandings that are the result of communication that lacks important cues like body language and inflection. I see the same patterns on almost every online community I've ever ventured into. There's a line from a John Green book I read years ago that I've tried to apply both to my online interactions and in my personal life - "be a filter, not a sponge." I retain what is useful to me, and try to filter out what isn't. If you view something as toxic or capable of ruining your experience on this forum or elsewhere, and you don't have any obligation to sponge it up, then try to just filter it out.

Having been a member of many forums on a diverse array of subjects, I would say that the the people who "ruin" forums are the Thought Police who try to force people to post things their way, like the OP.

"If you don't have anything nice to say, keep it to yourself" is simply code for "if I don't like what you have to say, I'm going to deny you the ability to say it."

We're all adults here; Pollyanna syndrome isn't attractive nor is it warranted.

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

I would say that the the people who "ruin" forums are the Thought Police who try to force people to post things their way, like the OP.

Really? Wow!.....Let's see I purposely found the section for "Rants and Raves".....posted a "rant"......and you think I'm being the "thought police"......good Lord! I couldn't care less what you think. hahaha All I can think to do is laugh.

You seem to be under the delusion that you can rant about something in a vacuum... we have the ability to rant right back.

If you didn't care, why did you bother to respond?

"When all is said and done, usually more has been said than done. "

BINGO! I've actually cut way down on my time spent here for exactly this reason. I'm a lurker but had come to rely on the information I found here. Thank goodness I discovered another group where there is only love and support. It's a support page, not a belittle page.

Love wins.

Sent from my iPad using the BariatricPal App

Bariatricpal.com is a forum - with some particular sections that are "support groups". I come on this forum for information and to learn from those who have been through this before - I don't come on here for love and support. I get that from my family and friends. I get support from counseling through my Bariatric Program. I want to be successful and the more information and guidance I get from others who have been successful - the better! I don't want a pat on the back and a "love fest". If I am doing something detrimental to my success - then I'm all for getting a kick in the pants by someone with knowledge. If I don't want opinions on what I'm doing - then I don't ask! Simple as that! Knowledge wins!

I myself come to these threads for the entertainment value! Wouldn't miss em for the world!!!

I got "yelled" at on here once for asking a question that could have been answered if I had "read the whole thread." So after getting reprimanded I scrolled through the entire post and still didn't really find the answer. I don't ask questions any more. I already feel judged for being overweight and don't need to be judged in a forum.

I myself come to these threads for the entertainment value! Wouldn't miss em for the world!!!

haha I actually think that may be the whole reason I posted the original post.....I'll be 4 weeks post op on Monday and think I'm having a hormonal dump and just needed a good snarky pissy conversation...hahaha

Ahhh...the be kind to one another thing, right?

one of the things I love about BP is that it is not "overmoderated" I have left other groups due to the fact that you couldn't have a decent debate on a topic (and there *are* some sticky wickets with this WLS process worthy of a hearty debate) without being asked to only say nice things.

I just don't think I am capable! although I do for the most part know how to behave in public - I don't want to be all "nice" all the time.

Be thankful for the ignore ability. it takes a lot for me to put someone on ignore. but It would be a shame for anyone to leave this forum because there was a group of people they didn't like. just ignore them officially if you can't just pass them by and go sit by the people you like! I promise you will learn a lot more than if everyone in a group was just like you or their plan was just like yours.

and, I will always give anyone the grace to correct or clarify themselves because there are times when any of us does not come across well online. or in person. yeesh. and some people will only make it worse when they try to clarify! but the truly awful ones, who you think might be trolls? they don't usually even come back to the drama they started.

we who are newer have a lot to learn from the veterans. they've tried all the recommendations and they are living it out one messy day after another. with varying degrees of success. but recommendations and plans change over time. the practice I used? what they recommend now has had some changes from when I went through early this year. so the vets have a lot to learn from the newer folk too about what the practices are thinking now. I hope we can all continue to hang together.

end of the day - to make a friend, be a friend.

I myself come to these threads for the entertainment value! Wouldn't miss em for the world!!!

haha I actually think that may be the whole reason I posted the original post.....I'll be 4 weeks post op on Monday and think I'm having a hormonal dump and just needed a good snarky pissy conversation...hahaha

And there it is.

I got "yelled" at on here once for asking a question that could have been answered if I had "read the whole thread." So after getting reprimanded I scrolled through the entire post and still didn't really find the answer. I don't ask questions any more. I already feel judged for being overweight and don't need to be judged in a forum.

I'm sorry you felt that way. Please continue to post and ask your questions. There are lots and lots of really good people on this site with lots of good information to share.....take some of the advice that some have given on this post and use the ignore/block feature so you don't have to deal with the judgmental folks.....I promise there are some really good people here!

I got "yelled" at on here once for asking a question that could have been answered if I had "read the whole thread." So after getting reprimanded I scrolled through the entire post and still didn't really find the answer. I don't ask questions any more. I already feel judged for being overweight and don't need to be judged in a forum.

one of my favorite quotes is "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent" Eleanor Roosevelt.

everyone you meet, every where every day is making a judgement about you. you are about others. it is just a part of being human. what matters is what you think of yourself.

I myself come to these threads for the entertainment value! Wouldn't miss em for the world!!!

haha I actually think that may be the whole reason I posted the original post.....I'll be 4 weeks post op on Monday and think I'm having a hormonal dump and just needed a good snarky pissy conversation...hahaha

And there it is.

Yup. Intentional drama. Wait, why DO some people try to ruin this forum?

I myself come to these threads for the entertainment value! Wouldn't miss em for the world!!!

haha I actually think that may be the whole reason I posted the original post.....I'll be 4 weeks post op on Monday and think I'm having a hormonal dump and just needed a good snarky pissy conversation...hahaha

Let me clarify..........I certainly still standby what I've said in my original post and still believe people should be able to ask questions without fear of being belittled .......

What I'm admitting to is I knew the post would spark some good banter and due to the b:tchy mood I've been in today it sort of "hit the spot" and was just what I needed......actually saved my husband from having to take the brunt of it...haha

Ahhh...well that makes this all SO much better.