Jump to content
×
Are you looking for the BariatricPal Store? Go now!

Why do some folks try to ruin this forum?



Recommended Posts

I can't believe anyone who has been on the internet more than five minutes would whine or complain about other peoples behavior, on the internet.

Boggles the mind.

On the internet, I say exactly what I would, and have, said in person. Not everyone likes me. I would be afraid if everyone did.

I like you.

And I concur with the in person thing. What you see is basically what you get with me. But that comes from being an old hag. I seriously could give a flying toot whether people like me or not.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

OK, you want to rumble?

I completely disagree with your take on @@LipstickLady .

She is my friend because she has been great to me. When I was a newbie here (a few years ago), Lipstick gave me so much good advice I have never forgotten it.

One bit of advice was: "Don't waste your first six months post-op, which are a magic time for weight loss. You will never lose weight again as fast as you can during this early period after your WLS.

Another bit of good advice she offered was something you haven't quite grasped yet: "Take the good you find here, leave the rest."

A third bit of good advice she has always given is: "Don't assume your experience is a universal WLS experience -- it's just your experience. Therefore, don't go around telling everyone that your experience is what they should expect."

Finally, here is some advice from ME to the newbies who have gotten their tits caught in a wringer about the "tone" of this message board:

1. Try to lighten the f**k up. I know many of you are pre-op and going through your pre-op jitters. All the veterans understand what that was like. But trust me, not everyone here made others' lives miserable just because we had the jitters.

2. Finally, this will shock the hell out of some of you, but nobody who posts on this message board is here to serve your needs. No matter whether we're pre-op or five years post-op, most of us are here to help ourselves. Yes, we reach out to others with support from time to time, but nobody here is your mommy or your daddy. Every single person here has a plateful of challenges -- whether it's getting through the pre-op diet or struggling with regain or caring for a family member who has cancer or working for the world's worst boss or trying to overcome a transfer addiction or raising our grandchildren. YOU are not the center of OUR universes. WE are.

I want to like and unlike this 5000x to spam your notifications with likes so you can fully comprehend how much I like this.

Do you, like, get me? ;)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I want to like and unlike this 5000x to spam your notifications with likes so you can fully comprehend how much I like this.

Oooooh! Do me! Do me! Do me!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The last few weeks I've been seeing a lot of rude responses to posts........each time I saw one I wanted to respond and ask "WTH is your problem?"......but knew that would just add to the drama, and I think that's what those folks are seeking anyway......So I found this "Rant" section and decided this would be the place to express my low opinion of those posters that seem to think that name calling and talking down to people is the way to respond to posts on a support forum....I see this type of response most often from some of the long timers. I'm not going to name names, because I know you know who you are because it is obvious it is done intentionally.....My advice to those folks, is if you're no longer able to provide support without being sarcastic, maybe it's time you move on with your life and just leave the forum and find something you're good at......It's great to have long timers here that will share their experiences with newbies because it is priceless when shared appropriately.....but if you don't know how to do it in a way that is supportive, you're only being hurtful and may actually cause someone not to ask a future question for fear they will be attached for being stupid......

That's the end of my rant.............As Ellen says at the end of all her shows............"Be kind to one another"

I first joined back in October of 2014...pre-sleeve and nervous with so many questions. I found this site to be very helpful from both veterans and newbies and I'm thankful for that. Much like offline life people are gonna be nice and others are just gonna be snarky and rude....and while I may be a New Yorker with thick skin it even irritated me a little...just a little

So I stopped posting and our group made a Facebook page for those sleeved in January of 2016. It's super helpful and we're even planning a little gathering for our 1 year anniversary.

It will never get rid of assholes cuz seriously they're everywhere but I think there's less snark when full names, location and family photos are attached to a profile

P.S. I haven't posted on here in months...and even when I did it was rare. But somehow I knew exactly who you were talking about lol

Chill Hun...don't let them get to you. Snarky trolls have nothing better to do so they sit online all day and post, post, post to get a response from you.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish I could eat popcorn!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Me too! I just did a Trader Joes run and they have mango coconut caramel corn. I almost cried when I saw it.

Yes I know this is off topic, but conflict makes me nervous and I babble when nervous.

I met a family of ducks today at the University of Miami campus they weren't old enough to drink beer so I bought them a box of Cereal which they really enjoyed its raining here wow thunder and lightning palm trees swaying now the dog is scared maybe a bone will help has anyone ever tried a lychee they are awesome but so expensive the guy wanted 28 bucks for a big bag so we went with the smaller one

Ok.... Is it over?

If not look at the duckie picture and smile smile smile! :) :) post-77434-14656710848153_thumb.jpg

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I wish I could eat popcorn!

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Me too! I just did a Trader Joes run and they have mango coconut caramel corn. I almost cried when I saw it.

Yes I know this is off topic, but conflict makes me nervous and I babble when nervous.

I met a family of ducks today at the University of Miami campus they weren't old enough to drink beer so I bought them a box of Cereal which they really enjoyed its raining here wow thunder and lightning palm trees swaying now the dog is scared maybe a bone will help has anyone ever tried a lychee they are awesome but so expensive the guy wanted 28 bucks for a big bag so we went with the smaller one

Ok.... Is it over?

If not look at the duckie picture and smile smile smile! :) :) attachicon.gifImageUploadedByBariatricPal1465671082.408363.jpg

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

I was just at Trader Joe's this morning where they were giving out samples of the mango coconut popcorn. It was a little cup of magic. Oh my goodness. Bites of bliss. I didn't buy a bag of it precisely because I knew I'd be tempted to eat the whole bag. We did get the mango bar bites and the mango macarons for treats because both are fairly reasonable with their calories, fat, and carbs. The macarons have 15 carbs per serving, but that's for three pretty macarons.

My favorite purchase from the TJ mango mania is a mango tangerine candle. I think it was around $3, and it smells precisely like the Blue Capri Volcano candle at Anthropologie that is $14 for the exact same size. I'm burning it right now, and it's brightening up this day of "June Gloom." I find that delighting other senses helps me to not overindulge in things that make my taste buds sing. :) Hmmm. I was thinking of making a thread about favorite TJ buys. Maybe I'll go do that now.

I love the pic of the ducks. :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The last few weeks I've been seeing a lot of rude responses to posts........each time I saw one I wanted to respond and ask "WTH is your problem?"......but knew that would just add to the drama, and I think that's what those folks are seeking anyway......So I found this "Rant" section and decided this would be the place to express my low opinion of those posters that seem to think that name calling and talking down to people is the way to respond to posts on a support forum....I see this type of response most often from some of the long timers. I'm not going to name names, because I know you know who you are because it is obvious it is done intentionally.....My advice to those folks, is if you're no longer able to provide support without being sarcastic, maybe it's time you move on with your life and just leave the forum and find something you're good at......It's great to have long timers here that will share their experiences with newbies because it is priceless when shared appropriately.....but if you don't know how to do it in a way that is supportive, you're only being hurtful and may actually cause someone not to ask a future question for fear they will be attached for being stupid......

That's the end of my rant.............As Ellen says at the end of all her shows............"Be kind to one another"

I first joined back in October of 2014...pre-sleeve and nervous with so many questions. I found this site to be very helpful from both veterans and newbies and I'm thankful for that. Much like offline life people are gonna be nice and others are just gonna be snarky and rude....and while I may be a New Yorker with thick skin it even irritated me a little...just a little

So I stopped posting and our group made a Facebook page for those sleeved in January of 2016. It's super helpful and we're even planning a little gathering for our 1 year anniversary.

It will never get rid of assholes cuz seriously they're everywhere but I think there's less snark when full names, location and family photos are attached to a profile

P.S. I haven't posted on here in months...and even when I did it was rare. But somehow I knew exactly who you were talking about lol

Chill Hun...don't let them get to you. Snarky trolls have nothing better to do so they sit online all day and post, post, post to get a response from you.

My group actually did the same thing with the Facebook page and you're right it's much much better.......actually my post above was based on my observations on other people's posts......no one had gotten snaky on one of my posts...(until this one) haha......In other words no one has hurt my feelings....after all this is the Internet and I don't even know any of these people............I just feel bad when I see poor new people asking questions and then people responding with snarky replies.......this site was very helpful to me with I first started and I just want it to continue to be helpful to new folks.

I certainly understand what several folks said, that it's just the nature of an Internet forum.....I've been on several and you do see the same type of behavior on all of them..(which is really weird to me...why does that happen?)......I also understand the right thing to do is soak in what you want and filter out the rest...........as hard as it may be for some folks to believe.....I really didn't just fall off a turnip truck...hahaha I have been around the block a time or two!

So bottom line, I found the "rant" section.....had a "rant" on mind.....posted it............and it's gone from me being the sarcastic and rude one to .....sex and snicker bars...LOL...who would have ever thunk it???

It's all good! Like I said in one of my earlier replies, I knew this post would prompt a banter when I posted it...but for me, one day of banter is enough......I can't stay focused on one thing that long. :D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The last few weeks I've been seeing a lot of rude responses to posts........each time I saw one I wanted to respond and ask "WTH is your problem?"......but knew that would just add to the drama, and I think that's what those folks are seeking anyway......So I found this "Rant" section and decided this would be the place to express my low opinion of those posters that seem to think that name calling and talking down to people is the way to respond to posts on a support forum....I see this type of response most often from some of the long timers. I'm not going to name names, because I know you know who you are because it is obvious it is done intentionally.....My advice to those folks, is if you're no longer able to provide support without being sarcastic, maybe it's time you move on with your life and just leave the forum and find something you're good at......It's great to have long timers here that will share their experiences with newbies because it is priceless when shared appropriately.....but if you don't know how to do it in a way that is supportive, you're only being hurtful and may actually cause someone not to ask a future question for fear they will be attached for being stupid......

That's the end of my rant.............As Ellen says at the end of all her shows............"Be kind to one another"

I first joined back in October of 2014...pre-sleeve and nervous with so many questions. I found this site to be very helpful from both veterans and newbies and I'm thankful for that. Much like offline life people are gonna be nice and others are just gonna be snarky and rude....and while I may be a New Yorker with thick skin it even irritated me a little...just a little

So I stopped posting and our group made a Facebook page for those sleeved in January of 2016. It's super helpful and we're even planning a little gathering for our 1 year anniversary.

It will never get rid of assholes cuz seriously they're everywhere but I think there's less snark when full names, location and family photos are attached to a profile

P.S. I haven't posted on here in months...and even when I did it was rare. But somehow I knew exactly who you were talking about lol

Chill Hun...don't let them get to you. Snarky trolls have nothing better to do so they sit online all day and post, post, post to get a response from you.

My group actually did the same thing with the Facebook page and you're right it's much much better.......actually my post above was based on my observations on other people's posts......no one had gotten snaky on one of my posts...(until this one) haha......In other words no one has hurt my feelings....after all this is the Internet and I don't even know any of these people............I just feel bad when I see poor new people asking questions and then people responding with snarky replies.......this site was very helpful to me with I first started and I just want it to continue to be helpful to new folks.

I certainly understand what several folks said, that it's just the nature of an Internet forum.....I've been on several and you do see the same type of behavior on all of them..(which is really weird to me...why does that happen?)......I also understand the right thing to do is soak in what you want and filter out the rest...........as hard as it may be for some folks to believe.....I really didn't just fall off a turnip truck...hahaha I have been around the block a time or two!

So bottom line, I found the "rant" section.....had a "rant" on mind.....posted it............and it's gone from me being the sarcastic and rude one to .....sex and snicker bars...LOL...who would have ever thunk it???

It's all good! Like I said in one of my earlier replies, I knew this post would prompt a banter when I posted it...but for me, one day of banter is enough......I can't stay focused on one thing that long. :D

Sounds good to me????

Enjoy your Saturday and keep kicking ass.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I myself come to these threads for the entertainment value! Wouldn't miss em for the world!!!

haha I actually think that may be the whole reason I posted the original post.....I'll be 4 weeks post op on Monday and think I'm having a hormonal dump and just needed a good snarky pissy conversation...hahaha

No surprise there.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Renatapaz

@@BigViffer what on Earth gives you the right to talk down to someone with any kind of question. Stupid, lazy, whatever the question is. Life is about being compassionate with others, and maybe you were less "lazy" than the new person, but you really think that's necessary? I've been for a year and 1/2 researching about the Gastric Sleeve. I've read book, instructional material, I've called friends of mine that they are doctors to make sure that this is the right decision, why? Because I'm a mother and a wife and I can't make any mistakes regarding the information, so yes, maybe they've been tons of time that I've made silly question (in your perspective) and it would absolutely heart break me if someone answers me back with a rude answer. It would not only do that, it would also reflect the kind of person that I don't want to become so maybe I won't even do the surgery. I think in life, there's absolutely not even one reason to be rude about anything.

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest Renatapaz

How the heck are you going to help yourself if there's just rude people talking down and making the group a negative one? @@summerset?

Sent from my iPhone using the BariatricPal App

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Agreed. Just answer the question. Or...if the question irritates you that much, just keep scrolling.

I don't know about this... i try to be understanding most of the time.. and usually post how MY experience was in regards to the question...

But.... sometimes the question is sooooo silly or dangerous that some "tough love" is in order... sometimes i just want to virtually grab someone by the shoulders and shake them.... lol

Yes, we are here to support each other and share experiences... but i will never be the enabler who pats someone on the back saying "there, there little one, i support the fact that you are 2 days post op and trying to eat a huge steak wrapped in a bread roll, smoking and eating a celery stick"

I personally think thats counterproductive... its dangerous and risky... and why on earth someone would test their sleeve that early like that is beyond me! .. therefore i will never be supportive of something like that.

If the person can not take thr basic personal responsibility for their health by understanding the requirements... then they shouldn't complain when someone points out it is wrong.... but majority of the time the poster gets offended... lol the mind boggles

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Guest
This topic is now closed to further replies.

  • Trending Products

  • Trending Topics

  • Recent Status Updates

    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 1 reply
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
  • Recent Topics

  • Hot Products

  • Sign Up For
    Our Newsletter

    Follow us for the latest news
    and special product offers!
  • Together, we have lost...
      lbs

    PatchAid Vitamin Patches

    ×