Dealing with Boss and Work

[Teapot 26]

I work in a busy office that has very seasonal busy periods. I'm considering having WLS (sleeve) done at the end of this year or the beginning of next year. I have to do 6 mo of medically supervised diet for my insurance putting me at a December or January surgery date.

The surgeon I have chosen requires 3 weeks off work post-op and prefers 5 weeks for people with my type of job. My workplace does not allow more than 7 days off in a row for vacation or pto. I am eligible for and will have to file for FMLA leave. Our calendar for time off is so restrictive that the only 5 week period I can take off would be in May. And really, there is no good time for me to have this done and I am certain my boss will try and get me to schedule the surgery for May 2017. I do not intend to wait that long. I tell myself that others in the office have taken 12 weeks of maternity leave, even during busy season, and the business didn't fall apart. We aren't too busy in December, but things really pick up in January.

I like my boss, but she has peculiar attitudes about medicine and health. She's not a bad person, just full of opinions I do not share, and breathtakingly tactless. She has been known to ask people inappropriate questions about their maternity leave and to loudly complain about how 'inconvenient' it is for people to have babies and illnesses. She once called a doctor's office in an attempt to get someone's surgery rescheduled. She did get in trouble for that and things have gotten better since that incident.

My main question is, can I submit FMLA paperwork directly to my HR department without letting her know the details of my surgery? Does HR even have to know what I'm having done? Anyone who googles my surgeon's name will immediately figure out what I'm doing.

Since it is technically elective surgery, can she ask me to move my surgery by six months?

Should I let her know as soon as possible, as a courtesy, or should I wait until I file FMLA? I do worry that she may pre-emptively replace me and reassign me to another office that isn't as busy. I would hate that.

This will affect my work partner most directly and she will not be allowed to take any time off while I am gone. Should I warn her so she doesn't plan a vacation that is sure to be denied? (I trust her to be discreet, she knows how it is).

[Christinamo7 4,041]

yes. your FMLA will go to HR for approval. Your supervisor will know you are on FMLA, but not the reason for it. your supervisor won't know if it is elective or not.

I was asked to postpone mine (another employee was out on FMLA) and I said I have already waited a year for this surgery. I need it. I am not waiting another 1-3 months. I am sorry if inconveniences you.

and I wouldn't warn anyone until the paperwork is approved, but only you know what is best in that relationship. once it is approved I would tell her.

[Miss Mac 6,261]

HR is going to have to help you navigate through this. It sounds like your boss is not flexible about doctor appointments or medical testing either. The good news is that she cannot legally press you for info. Take everything through HR first.

[animallover1247 249]

I don't really know all the rules related to FMLA and what HR is and is not allowed to disclose to your supervisor. I had to give my supervisor my FLMA paperwork (when I was out sick for a different surgery) and she sent it to HR. I suspect your boss will want to know why you are out, whether she is entitled to know or not. I would make it clear to HR you want this kept confidential, if in fact those are the rules. In these types of situations people frequently do not always do what they are supposed to.

[shellyd88 463]

You are not required to disclose the type of surgery or reason behind it that is confidential info by law they can"assume" anything they like you do not have to confirm anything nor justify it to anyone you likely will have to have the dr note as to required time off for recovery such as X amount of weeks etc this person sounds exactly like my boss she thinks she has the right to know all your business and I've heard the comments as well about my medical appts being "inconvenient" for them etc etc lol they are trial attorneys I run their home I don't argue the cases in court so how are you being Inconvienced? I had to have a biopsy once to find out if I had thyroid cancer ( I did) and I was told after a dramatic round of huffing and puffing how she was planning on sending me with her at the time young daughter out of town to a horse show ( not part of my job as I'm not the mom or a nanny) so I flipped out and told her it wasn't happening etc Oh the tragedy that will occur if I mop the floor tomm instead of today? Stand up for yourself these ppl will always find reasons why u should wait to do anything for yourself even medical stuff u can't be nice to those kind of ppl they will just use it against u and try to guilt u into accommodating their needs above yours they just don't care about anyone other then themselves

[MilknWookies 15]

Your boss has zero right to know anything about your current medical situation or history. HIPPA laws are pretty strict as are FMLA laws. Employers are bound to certain guidelines they must follow. I would file the paperwork with the HR department and tell them that once the paperwork is in order and everything is approved that they can notify your direct supervisor that you will be absent for medical reasons on FMLA leave. No other specifics are required.

[James Marusek 5,244]

Timing!!!! From my experience, I went through the 6 month medically supervised weight loss and exercise program and then 2 to 3 months of other steps which included: pre-op testing, second round of pre-op testing, classroom training, waiting for insurance approval, scheduling surgery. So the point is that you may find it difficult to plan this event.

Also one of the considerations that I had was that since this process went almost 3/4 of a year, it went over the calendar year and as a result affected 2 years of deductibles on my insurance plan.

[HanSolo1977 261]

As others have said, HIPAA and FMLA only require doctor's notes for the time off. My wife had surgery last year for a condition and the doc's note was like three sentences long: "<name> had surgery at <hospital> and can return to work after <date>" or something like that.

[Teapot 26]

Thanks everyone!

I will go through HR only and keep my business close to the vest until the last possible moment.

[kcsprong 19]

At my work, my boss and HR said I did not need to give them any details or disclose anything beyond that i was having surgery. They were really going by the book and for that i was greatly thankful.

Sent from my LGLS991 using the BariatricPal App

[Dub 9,922]

You've certainly thought about the impact and effect this will have on your work place and coworkers.

It can be a maddening endeavor.....trying to make it all come together with the least disturbance. Never, for a moment, lose sight of why you are having this wls.....for yourself.....for your health. It's an easy detail that can get lost in all the other considerations.

Maybe you can even move things up quicker than December. Speak with your insurance company's patient advocate very carefully and see the specific details. Many plans allow you to use any prior doctor's appointment where you were counseled on weight loss during that visit. My PCP and other doctors each agreed to fill out the simple form (provided by insurance company). Each of these forms, for me, satisfied a month of the 6 months. The only stipulation was that these sessions take place over the last 2 years. Each of my doctors agreed in an instant to complete the simple forms and help me speed up the process.

My very first bariatric appointment was on July 1, 2015. We didn't think I'd be able to apply until Jan 2016. I satisfied insurance demands quickly and was eligible well prior to the end of year. My insurance $$$$ benefit wasn't so great in terms of bariatric coverage and ultimately I chose to self fund due to it being cheaper for me than using insurance (sounds crazy, I know). The surgery was in mid October 2015 and could have still been by then or November if I'd used insurance. Find out all the details you can from your insurance company's bariatric folks.....it'll take some digging around....but you can benefit greatly from some "inside insight" from them.

Good luck