Ok so this is going to be a confession kind of about 5 years ago I got a lap band I started off so strong I dropped 50 pounds made a lot of huge changes in my life but then I ended up pregnant and I didnt put on much weight but lacked motivation to keep working out after words between on the demands of being mother of 2 kids and once my middle child turned 2 i was having baby 3. Recently I have wanted to work out more but at home i cant stay motivated as I am alone it feels like. My husband tells me that yoga is not a real work out and then when my kids are all ways under foot when I try in the day time by the time everyone is asleep i am just very tired. I have been thinking about going to the gym but being 280 pounds I am scared to feel out of place not only that I wouldnt know where to start what to do and fear i would give up because i dont have the best support system or even someone to do it with. Anyone feel that way ?

The thing about the gym is this......everyone there is just trying to get more healthy. They don't care about where everyone else around them is in their individual level of progress. They aren't judging you. If anything, it's a group that will motivate you and always glad to see others working hard towards their fitness goals.

The only time I've ever seen folks not enjoy the company of others in the gym is when you find the occasional camper.....the folks that don't follow proper etiquette and move off equipment between sets or don't wipe down the equipment after they are done. It sucks having to wait on gear that someone is simply sitting down on and not utilizing.

Going back into the gym without a plan....without the skill to know what proper lifting form is.....without a gradual build up in intensity.....all can be recipes for injury that will set you back and/or derail you from your goals.

Hiring a trainer can be great....so long as your trainer is intelligent and listens to you. They can be highly valuable. Some of them can, at least. I've seen some trainers subject their clients to some ridiculous things that most certainly end in injury. It's very important to deal with one that KNOWS how to properly ramp someone from where most of us began....to getting us to where we want to be.....and do so safely. They aren't cheap, however.

A very safe way may be to go back and simply engage in cardio....treadmill (moderate pace with some gradual increase in incline) or elliptical machines. At in the stair climbers and work your way to some cardio fitness before beginning any weight training.

The weight machines can be good in that the proper motion is built in, provided you adjust them to your height. Target specific body parts in a session....get 10-15 repetitions per set and maybe 4 sets.....then allow that body part to rest for 2-3 days before doing it again. Stay hydrated. Stretch before and after. Warm up on cardio machine before lifting.

Have fun with it.

The classes can be great, too.

Yoga not a workout ??? Really ? Has your husband ever tried yoga ? I took a couple classes and was blown away. Some of the Body Pump classes can be awesome, too. You can go follow the instructor, yet use appropriate weights and intensity to your stage.

Lots of options....just be careful to allow your tendons and ligaments to develop first.....this is critical. Many just jump in and think they are going to attack their muscles and go hard after it. The major connective tissues are at risk if they aren't given the proper time to develop first. A program, such as a "5x5" is a great way to start.

I'm a gym rat...have been for years.

And I can tell you that true gym people admire those who show up obviously out of shape yet committing themselves in spite of any perceived barriers.

So people are not judging!!

go and check out the gym and see how you feel there. Talk to the trainers and get a feel for the place. I have fibromyalgia and needed to take the seniors only classes when I was barely 40. I felt embarrassed but once people talked to me I got tremendous support and understanding. Take that step out of your comfort zone and check the place out. Might end up being your home from home! Good luck.

I think this is a common fear, but like most fears, it's completely unwarranted. As others have said, people go to the gym to do their own thing and they aren't there to look at and judge you. I know how it feels to be self-conscious and feel like all eyes are on you, but the truth is you aren't that important! At least not to strangers. Even if they do have a fleeting judgmental thought, it WILL be fleeting... they aren't going to hang onto it and obsess over it. They aren't running home to tell their spouse "you should have seen this fat lady making a fool of herself at the gym!" And even if they did, what effect would that really have on you? You'd never even know about it.

"Feel the fear and do it anyway."

As others have mentioned this is a common fear. But, it is actually more common to enjoy going.

Do you have a YMCA or Wellness Center associated with a hospital near you? I would recommend either of those kinds of facilities if they are available. Personally, my primary requirement is can indoor pool. Swimming is a great exercise.

Group exercise classes are great, whether they are on land or in the water: Water aerobics, Zumba, yoga, tai chi, dance classes, etc. They are all exercise. Maybe even invite your husband to take a yoga class or a ballroom, salsa, or country-western line dancing class with you.

As a bonus, most Ys and Wellness Centers that I have belonged to have child care available.

Uuuuugh I hate the gym. I hate the gym I'm part of now that my husband signed me up for. It's small, it's mostly men doing free weights. There's like 3 treadmills and 2 bikes. I can feel people sweat on me. I never go. I've gone like 2 times. It's horrid. But after my surgery I'm joining Planet Fitness. I've been a few times at different times of the day and I like it.

But I guess finding a gym you're comfortable with is key. Is there a women's only gym around? Or a gym that has a women's only room?

I concur with all of the above comments. And @@Dub made some excellent recommendations and information.

All my life I have enjoyed some level of physical exercise whether at home or in a gym, regardless of my weight at that point in my life. It makes me feel good period. And, besides the obvious benefits to your weight loss program, think of all the good things physical activity is doing for your internal functions. A WIN-WIN!!

This time around I chose to join Planet Fitness which has a location on my way home from work and very close to home; this makes it very convenient for me to get there 2-4 times each week, most visits are right after work. I change clothes at the office just before leaving so that I can just walk in, do my workout whatever it is that day, i.e. cardio, strength training, or circuit training. Also, whenever I feel the need to change up my routine, they do have a "trainer" who can help you with that. He/She doesn't function like a hired personal trainer, but once I have a routine mapped out, I'm good to go. I have worked with a personal trainer in years past which I did find very helpful because they do, and will, push you more than we tend to push ourselves during a workout.

I would have loved to gone to a gym that offered classes and a pool because I love taking classes and doing Water aerobics, but the Y closest to my home does not have a pool and all the rooms with all the equipment are dark and uninviting; thus my choice to join Planet Fitness.

Bottom line for me was it had to be convenient, affordable, and a comfortable atmosphere, mostly convenient, otherwise, I won't go and do.

As you are considering different gyms, ask about visitor passes so you can use the facility a time or two before committing your financial resources.

Good luck to you and ENJOY YOUR JOURNEY!!!!

"Feel the fear and do it anyway."

yes, this.

The thing about the gym is this......everyone there is just trying to get more healthy. They don't care about where everyone else around them is in their individual level of progress. They aren't judging you. If anything, it's a group that will motivate you and always glad to see others working hard towards their fitness goals.

The only time I've ever seen folks not enjoy the company of others in the gym is when you find the occasional camper.....the folks that don't follow proper etiquette and move off equipment between sets or don't wipe down the equipment after they are done. It sucks having to wait on gear that someone is simply sitting down on and not utilizing.

Going back into the gym without a plan....without the skill to know what proper lifting form is.....without a gradual build up in intensity.....all can be recipes for injury that will set you back and/or derail you from your goals.

Hiring a trainer can be great....so long as your trainer is intelligent and listens to you. They can be highly valuable. Some of them can, at least. I've seen some trainers subject their clients to some ridiculous things that most certainly end in injury. It's very important to deal with one that KNOWS how to properly ramp someone from where most of us began....to getting us to where we want to be.....and do so safely. They aren't cheap, however.

A very safe way may be to go back and simply engage in cardio....treadmill (moderate pace with some gradual increase in incline) or elliptical machines. At in the stair climbers and work your way to some cardio fitness before beginning any weight training.

The weight machines can be good in that the proper motion is built in, provided you adjust them to your height. Target specific body parts in a session....get 10-15 repetitions per set and maybe 4 sets.....then allow that body part to rest for 2-3 days before doing it again. Stay hydrated. Stretch before and after. Warm up on cardio machine before lifting.

Have fun with it.

The classes can be great, too.

Yoga not a workout ??? Really ? Has your husband ever tried yoga ? I took a couple classes and was blown away. Some of the Body Pump classes can be awesome, too. You can go follow the instructor, yet use appropriate weights and intensity to your stage.

Lots of options....just be careful to allow your tendons and ligaments to develop first.....this is critical. Many just jump in and think they are going to attack their muscles and go hard after it. The major connective tissues are at risk if they aren't given the proper time to develop first. A program, such as a "5x5" is a great way to start.

Yes! ^^ THIS!!! I really couldn't have said it any better, so just copying it here for you to read again!!

Do whatever it takes to motivate yourself ... get a buddy to go with you so you commit to it and can't back out. (this was great for me at first!) No matter what, this is *YOUR* journey and you need to do what you need to do. Don't worry about what others may think, they aren't you.

Best of luck!

My gym is at a university. (I work on campus and get a discount). That means that I work out with college students mostly, although there are grad students and faculty/staff as well. I remember being more than a little intimidated as well when I started, especially with all the mirrors they put everywhere! What I realized as I started working out was that although I noted who was around me when I started and ended my workout, I paid very little attention to anyone around me when I was working out. If I, who am worried about other people's reactions to me, fail to notice other people and their workouts, then it is more than likely that other people are not noticing me either! The only people I ever noticed were the squash players because my favorite treadmills overlooked the squash courts and I was fun to try and figure out the rules for squash from what they were doing! It was never about what they looked like as much as it was trying to guess the actual rules. I guess I'm kind of a geek like that.

This winter I took a weight lifting class called Women and Weights. We had 1st years all the way to staff members in the class. The fun thing, besides learning to lift weights correctly, was to reaffirm what I had guessed when I was running on the treadmill. All the class members were friendly and willing to partner with me and they were more interested in chatting or their own workout than judging. We all met each other where we were at.

You can do it. Use those fears to motivate yourself to show "them" what you can do, but truly I don't believe people are even watching, let alone putting in the effort to judge. And remember, only someone who is insecure themselves would ever dream of commenting.

pam

@@sweetdarling1983

If you are scared of the gym, don't go. The stress isn't worth it. Stressing yourself out is counter productive.

I walk in my neighborhood, I walk in the park. Exercise in a real environment instead of a fake one like the gym is better for you and you engage more muscles. I walk 2 to 5 miles a day depending on how much free time I have.

As far as Yoga, it is totally a real work out. Tell your husband NFL players do yoga. You will get muscles and everything doing yoga. You have to be strong to do the poses and you get stronger learning. Yoga will give you long strong lean muscles and it will also help with tightening your skin. I wouldn't do yoga at a gym though, I would find a nice yoga studio. I go to a yoga studio and everyone is kind, helpful and supportive. I first started going when I was a little lighter than you, and I wasn't the biggest person there. At 280, you already are under the weight limit for Aerial Yoga. Aerial is a little easier, and since you are in the sling, if you are conscious about how you look, you are hidden.

There are lots of ways to work out, you don't have to do it in a gym. I cancelled my gym membership recently because it was a waste. I have weights I purchased at Walmart to work out my arms at home, and I have leg weights I wear when I walk to burn extra calories. You can get a little equipment for at home and get started with a $20-30 investment.

Edited May 5, 201610 yr by OutsideMatchInside

I wish I could get my buddy to join with me but I only have 1 real life friend and she out right refuses to work out or anything. My husband refuses to join me in working out because well hes so skinny that the dr would love to see him put on weight the only person who would work out with me is my 11 year old and due to her heart condition and need for surgery cant right now. I have been thinking more and more about joining a gym since working out at home is no longer working for me i find every excuse not to do it where i think since i would have to pay to work out i would feel the need to make the most out of the money i spent. I guess because I have all ways been picked on i have many issues with being out and about where my boobs might jiggle and guys feel the need to say rude things as they all ways have

You can make friends at the gym. I think you might be surprised by how different your experience will be from your expectations.

@@sweetdarling1983

I think having a gym buddy is really fail. You have to learn how to motivate yourself. Every time i have had a workout partner they have held me back more than helped me. If they lack motivation, and consistency they will hold you back.

Why not walk? You can lose a lot of weight just walking. Do you have a dog? Walk the dog? Walk with your kids, you can use that time to talk about school etc.

I started walking in my neighborhood and I made friends with my neighbors, all kinds of neighbors I never even knew before.

I think having a work out buddy wouldnt help me fail I had one a couple years ago she hated working out but I had a blast and once she quit i just kept going its the first little getting in to the grove I have a issue with i get bored alone and I would walk with my kids but the 2 younger ones just take off running and my oldest its to hard on her heart right now she is waiting on approval to have her heart fixed. Also alot of the lack of motivation at home comes from my husband who when I do work out he makes fun of me or what ever. I was telling him how I have lost 30 pounds and he was like cool tell me when you hit under 200. I was so hurt by it because i had worked hard to get under 300 he wont even try working yoga and because he does stuff like that my younger kids also have started making fun of me when i work out and it really hurts.