Convincing spouse

[twins2016 26]

I went thru 4 ivfs so put my body thru a menopausal state 4 times and my body loves to hold onto fat! Before the last ivf, i convinced dh to let me have a smart Lipo procedure on my tummy so the meds could work better (they did, I had twins). My hubby mistook the lipo for weight loss and said basically I was still fat and I'm never to have that type of surgery again. My recovery was tough and he was worried (?) anyway, I need help, I want to get the sleeve and get in with life and run after my kids without having a breathing attack. I want to be open about the surgery and my desire for it, but it'll cost 12000 out of pocket. I'm afraid he'll think I'm doing one of my silly weight loss things again. I don't think he'll appreciate the reasons to do it and we'll tell me to diet and exercise. Any advice?

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[ld33 94]

Maybe you can take him to a consultation with you. That way he can ask whatever questions he has

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[jane13 2,256]

Having SO on board is a tremendous help. I was lucky to have tremendous support from the start. To me was a big plus.

I agree with taking him to a consultation or seminar and let him know its his time to ask the professionals about WLS. He may have fears/concerns that can be answered so let him ask his questions.

[elisaa33 14]

Well I have to say I feel you ! I knew my hubby would not understand let alone talk to me about it . So I asked him for his support and told him I was doing the procedure. As for the cost I went to Mexico for the surgery and my girl friend went with me . I am home now a week and doing great . I also told my whole family and Facebook what I was doing . I feel the more people that know the more support you get .

Good luck

[JamieLogical 8,684]

Without knowing more about the dynamics of your relationship, it's hard to say what the best course of action is. My husband did not agree with my decision to have surgery, but at least respected the fact that it was MY decision and he supported me afterward, because at that point there was no going back. Would I have liked him to understand? Of course. But I was grateful that he at least didn't fight me on it.

[twins2016 26]

Great suggestions! Ya he may end up not agreeing with it, but will help me out I'm sure.

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[thbrown223 214]

I went thru 4 ivfs so put my body thru a menopausal state 4 times and my body loves to hold onto fat! Before the last ivf, i convinced dh to let me have a smart Lipo procedure on my tummy so the meds could work better (they did, I had twins). My hubby mistook the lipo for weight loss and said basically I was still fat and I'm never to have that type of surgery again. My recovery was tough and he was worried (?) anyway, I need help, I want to get the sleeve and get in with life and run after my kids without having a breathing attack. I want to be open about the surgery and my desire for it, but it'll cost 12000 out of pocket. I'm afraid he'll think I'm doing one of my silly weight loss things again. I don't think he'll appreciate the reasons to do it and we'll tell me to diet and exercise. Any advice?

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Someone else suggested he attends the consultation with you. I highly agree. I also think he should attend the seminar with you. I'm not sure if this is offered most areas, but my fiancé and I attended the seminar first and then the consultation. By attending both of these he was fully aware and educated. I would also read some posts with him. He really enjoyed the posts because it was really life experiences not just research.

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