After eating a big serving of ice cream (at a friend's house, because I can't keep the stuff in my own refrigerator), I'm feeling philosophical.

Last weekend I ran into a woman who suffers from Asperger's syndrome, a form of autism. She is highly intelligent, but doesn't have a clue about how to relate to people; a therapist shows her diagrams of facial expressions and what they usually mean, and coaches her on tone of voice and the most basic parts of social interaction because they don't come naturally to her. She has to concentrate on deciphering things that seem obvious to most of us.

I've been thinking about her the last few days. . . and I realized that I've been suffering something similar with food. Maybe some of you are, too.

All those food signals that come naturally to most of the world somehow didn't make it into my wiring. You know what I mean: Eat only when you're hungry; you don't have to eat everything on your plate (as Allan Sherman once said, "They're still starving in China, and I got fat"); have just a taste of rich food; save Desserts for special occasions instead of three meals a day; one day (or weekend, or month) of overeating does not mean you are a failure, because you can start fresh the next day. These supposedly obvious suggestions are utterly foreign to my consciousness, as novel as my Asperger's acquaintance finds the idea of frowning equaling displeasure. I might know the basic theory, but I'm just starting to learn the practice.

Does this ring a bell with anyone? And does it get easier?

It rings part of a bell, Zoe. Like you, I feel that over time I lost the ability to relate to food in anything resembling a normal manner. And I still think that my sense of taste is just not as developed as some people's. Quantity was always more important to me than quality. But since 2/3 of the people in the U.S. are overweight, and diabetes is now an epidemic, I figure it's not just me and it's not just that I'm not wired correctly. I know my problem is (was?) more extreme than most people's, but I don't exactly feel like a strange person in a strange land. I feel that our society as a whole has lost the ability to eat normally and it is the minority who do all the healthy things you describe.

Nancy

It gets easier Zoe..I told my Dr. on Monday that I finally feel like I'm eating to live and not living to eat. I only eat when I am hungry.. and stop when I am satisfied and NOT stuffed....Part of it is for me that eating is almost like a chore since I have to eat so damn slow and chew my food until liquid form..with the tiniest bites. Eating is not as enjoyable to me as it once was...dont get me wrong I still battle the chocolate and have a bite of it every once in awhile but other then that I stay away from the junk food. I want this so badly to be thin that nothing is going to stop me, this is the first time in my life where I feel like I will never put this weight back on. These 66 lbs are gone forever!!!! I'm lovin' my band