I keep hearing about that "act like a lady, think like a man" book. Reading the reviews it doesn't really sound like my world view (the tired saw that all men are dogs). Hell, at my age I am pretty stoked to find a guy who matches my libido...but I digress. since what I have been doing is no longer working for me, I am gonna change things up even if I have some doubts about the underlying premise.

The big mistake I make over and over is narrowing to one person too quickly, I lose interest in meeting anyone else. This has resulted in a few relationships over the last few years, none of them lasting more than 3-4 months and i am tired of it. (Not entirely true, had a pretty long relationship with someone who was supposed to be a more casual thing - weird, huh?)

I realize this is starting to impact my feminine self esteem even though I have been just as likely to end things...more like I just am tired of getting to know someone, they impact my life and then are just gone. I don't take losses well, even unimportant ones like breaking up with someone I wasn't in love with.

This wasn't my experience when I was young so I guess I am finally taking seriously the advice EVERYONE has given me and when I am ready to "try again" to avoid this pattern. What the heck, nothing to lose - I am going to do the thing where you see several people and wait for months before exclusively dating any one person. Is this what people call serial dating - a term that makes no sense to me bit I have seen in guys profiles "no serial daters". Me, I am just trying to avoid serial killers, I have very reasonable standards.

Here is the thing I keep wondering about people who date 3-5 people (the members of the pool most likely change quite a bit until you find a serious prospect ) - how on earth do you have time? I mean I figure you need to see a person at least 3x a month so they remember you, right? That is alot of dates.

Do you move toward going "dutch" in this situation? Men always pay for dates in my experience unless I specifically am treating them, but I would often cook or do things like that. I guess I am wondering what people think is typical.

I am just trying to figure out how to actually do this thing I said I am going to do. Hope the book comes with an instruction sheet.

I predict that I will start going to meetups, fire up an online profile etc in March. so far, getting dates has been no problem, but finding love has been quite elusive. ....

I have another change I need to make but I am not yet sure how. I need to learn how to flirt better. I mean with complete strangers - I have this terrible habit of avoiding eye contact or smiling at someone I find attractive - I think i send out "don't come near me" signals sometimes. I am not a shy person so it is quite specific to men I find interesting, you know at the store or out at a dance or something ...maybe remnants of my history of feeling bad about my looks???

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I have never encountered a married one. I've been doing this since 2002. You wasted a few months on someone, and I wasted 3 years on someone. Things were great for a long time, until he came home from work one day and said he quit his job. Things went downhill quickly and I kicked him out 2 weeks later.

Sometimes I do consider moving to Portland. I don't know if things would be any better though, and I would have a lot more hassle in my life.

The guy that wanted me to go fishing with him called me last night. I told him already that there was no hope for us. He asked me to go to lunch in a week. He said "what are you doing a week from today?" Good grief, now I am going to have trouble getting rid of him.

Sheryl, keep your profile hidden. You can hide it on any dating site. Some of them you have to sign back in and out each time (like hide unhide,) but it's worth it. Then he would not be able to visit your profile every day.

@@CowgirlJane ... I thought of you.

@ LipstickLady it's occurred to me that there is some truth to that!

Ok this one I photographed, hope you can read it

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