I am not sure how I am going to feel

You can probably go but you will have to explain why you aren't eating or drinking anything and why you act lethargic.

I really don't understand the female mind frame of always trying to keep weight loss surgery a secret. Men usually don't have this problem.

That's kind of a privilege of being a male. Overweight women are pariahs--we are assumed to be lazy, have weak character, etc. I'm not telling anyone (not a single person) because people are nasty, judgmental, rude... I don't need anyone telling me how to eat, or what I should or shouldn't do about my body. For some reason though it happens all the time. "Are you sure you want to eat that?" "Have you ever bought a slow cooker? You can just fill it up with lean Proteins and vegetables in the morning and have a healthy meal at the end of the day!" "I can show you some easy workout routines." These things are always UNSOLICITED.

Most recently, a blonde haired plastic Barbie approached me at target to give me her husband's business card. It was very strange but I took it and gave an awkward "thanks..." And as she walked away, I looked down to see that her husband is a Bariatric surgeon. It was this moment that did in fact inspire me to look into WLS, but not because of her recommendation (I am certainly not seeing that surgeon). But because I'm so tired of being judged by other women.

I'm only 90 lbs overweight. I can't imagine how other heavier women manage.

I don't want my identity to be defined by my WLS or my weight period. It is for this reason that I refuse to tell anyone.

Wow !! What a b**** !! Her husband is gonna lose business with her rude tactics !!

Prior to going to my in laws I cautioned them that I was not going to eat a lot as I gained weight and really needed to cut back. No one questioned my eating or drinking habits Thanksgiving day and we had a great time. I also made it a point to help with fixing everyone else plate until what I ate they didn't notice. I say go for it and enjoy your family time!

I wouldn't go at 4 days post op I was still in the hospital due to a minor complication.

I'm having mine done on 12/16 and my big concern is how i would be feeling! I was gonna stay in and take this time to reflect. I don't plan on doing any family gatherings until I can actually eat something!

This a new life style, and you are going to have to get used to people asking you why you eat so little. Whatever the story (truth-you had surgery or tale-you are fasting intermittently to gear up for this lifestyle change), you are going to have to decide what you want to tell people and how you are going to go about limiting that information if you choose to withhold.

On the other hand, you have to listen to your body. If you want to go, make sure you wear something comfortable, and please don't wear a color which will show the seepage from your incisions should they choose that moment to do so.

Just don't overdo it.

I'm so sorry I thought it was after Christmas not before. Depends on how you feel. I'm 4 days post op and if it wasn't for the drain I have I would probably be out shopping.

I went to a big family party at 4 days post-op. Nobody knows I had surgery so I did say I wasn't feeling well when I first went in, just to cover why i might be moving more slowly or not eating like normal. I did take a plate of food at dinner but I just moved things around and put my fork to my mouth a few times. I've been to many family parties since and I've noticed that nobody pays attention to what other people are doing during meals. Nobody has ever questioned why I have such a small plate of food or why I have so much left over at the end. I say go if you're feeling up to it.

I'm still shaking my head over the bariatric surgeon's trophy wife shilling for him at the grocery store!

That's unbelievable!

I'm still shaking my head over the bariatric surgeon's trophy wife shilling for him at the grocery store!

That's unbelievable!

That was very rude.

But, I wonder if she was a former patient...who knows, just because she looks like "Barbie" now, doesn't mean she always has.

Today is day #3 post op for me, I had VSG and a hernia repair.

I am typically on the go 24/7 but my body is telling me to stay put & rest.

Honestly a shower was work for me & I had no strength left to dry my hair. Listen to your body.

I'm still shaking my head over the bariatric surgeon's trophy wife shilling for him at the grocery store!

That's unbelievable!

That was very rude.

But, I wonder if she was a former patient...who knows, just because she looks like "Barbie" now, doesn't mean she always has.

I will say that I don't plan on ever behaving like that after my surgery, no matter how much my appearance improves. It's just not my place to judge.

Well you can see the answers are all over the board. I certainly wouldn't have been able to go at 4 days post-op just out of exhaustion and post-op pain. Having said that, there seem to be a lot of people who went back to work in less than a week and I just simply cannot imagine how.

Wait and see how you feel that morning and then beg off if you need to. If you do feel up to it, be prepared to only stay a short time and to come home and rest a lot afterwards. The smells of the food may make you nauseous. Take anti-nausea med with you (usually prescribed by your dr such as Zofran). Take Water and keep sipping the whole time.

Best of luck with your surgery!

Hey! I have my surgery that day too! 12/21/15. and I totally get not wanting to tell a lot of people. sometimes, it is hard to focus on what you need to do when you are offered a lot of unsolicited advice and feedback. I admit that i get frustrated and cloudy. the last time i lost a good amount of weight on my own, i got compliments and questions. it was hilarious that when i said what i was doing, they would follow with "what you should try" or "what will help" or "you shouldnt...". And I'm never the rude type but wondered, "isnt what i am doing working? Isnt that why we are having this conversaton? I dont even know how many children you have and here you go giving me life advice about what i put in my mouth and how i should exercise." But! That is probably just me. It was a learning lesson that everyone is entitled to their opinion but you dont always have to present them with an invitation by providing too wide an open door.

and i havent told my aged mother who lives with me because she is a natural born worrier. she will worry not only herself to death but me as well. so, to avoid that possible extra stress, i have been discretely drinking shakes around her all weekend and she has been none the wiser. I'll tell her after the surgery but till then, my husband and 4 (friends & family) have been my support. but ive told them that i dont want to have discussions and meetings about it. they have only been informed due to need and cirmcumstances. lol.

i agree with what others have said. if you feel up for it that morning, go. it might be nice to be around family and friends. especially those you may not see regularly. plan to stay for a short while. maybe arrive late. tell them you dont feel up to eating. but the moment you feel tired, sick, or uncomfortable, excuse yourself. it almost sounds like you want to go, your concern is the potential for questioning. if you dont want to miss out, dont. unless you have to.

You will not be up to going anywhere. Please plan to stay home in bed. It would be a mistake.

You can probably go but you will have to explain why you aren't eating or drinking anything and why you act lethargic.

I really don't understand the female mind frame of always trying to keep weight loss surgery a secret. Men usually don't have this problem.

That's kind of a privilege of being a male. Overweight women are pariahs--we are assumed to be lazy, have weak character, etc. I'm not telling anyone (not a single person) because people are nasty, judgmental, rude... I don't need anyone telling me how to eat, or what I should or shouldn't do about my body. For some reason though it happens all the time. "Are you sure you want to eat that?" "Have you ever bought a slow cooker? You can just fill it up with lean Proteins and vegetables in the morning and have a healthy meal at the end of the day!" "I can show you some easy workout routines." These things are always UNSOLICITED.

I get that all the time! - Recently I got tired of it and called a 'friend' out on him telling me what I need to do and what I shouldn't be doing. He had asked about me going to the gym and when I told him I didn't go that day - he became very condescending and was like You can't skip like that - you need to do it and just go... I told him that I wasn't accountable to him or anyone but myself - I go with a friend to the gym and when she doesn't go - I don't go. He got all defensive about how he was just trying to support me and all that jazz... He needs to find another way to be supportative because that ain't it. He's another one that isn't fine with me having surgery and I quite frankly don't care.

I like having a gym partner and when I want to go by myself I do - but usually her break days are at the same time as mine - while I just explained all that here. I Don't feel I should have to explain it to him or anyone else. I only did so here because it adds to the story.