Before surgery we got along quite well. It knew what I expected and I knew what it expected. We worked together. Since surgery it's been on extreme or another. Either I think I am about to pass gas, and...... wind up doing a load of laundry that is nasty, OR days go by where I forget I even have an ass because it does nothing except pass actual gas.

I have been trying to up my Fiber but I am still on stage 4, so no fibrous veggies yet. Chili has been wonderful with the exception of the gas (thanks to whoever discovered gas-x!)

This is how I have felt for the last 10 days or so. See attached image.

So I talked to my Surgeons PA and she suggested double doses of Miralax until I got settled. 3 days and nothing but more of the above. I get over 100oz of Water a day, so that's not it. I called her back and she suggested Milk of Magnesia, commonly referred to as MOM. 4 Tablespoons, lots of tummy grumbling and more of the above. So today I took a double dose of Miralax, and forgot I did and took MOM as well.

Fast forward two hours......

MOM should stand for Massive Out coming Mixture. I thought I was going to pass a bit of gas, and managed to hold off long enough to get to the commode. What happened next is too graphic for publication. I CAN tell you that my recent 'stall' ended I lost 5 pounds in about a 1/2 a hour.

So the lesson here is Trust in MOM. But whatever you do, DO NOT combine it with Miralax, Or you will have the worst case of volcano ass you can imagine.

This has been a public service announcement.

@@Dar200

Rule #1 about the ass club, we never discuss the ass club

Rule #2 about the ass club, we never discuss the ass club

Rule #3 about the Ass Club, Never trust a fart!

I don't trust the farts. That's why I was on the toilet. But yesterday I wasn't even feeling gassy. I just walked around farting and then I would race to the bathroom. Very very odd.

I never had to worry about this before ... but last night... I should NOT have trusted my fart.

Omg I can't believe I'm telling you all this!!!!

I blame it on you Winklie! You told me about MOM!

at least it could be from the MOM.

Or maybe it's from all of the following:

MOM

Senokot

Stool softeners

Restoralax

Fibre pills

Bran buds

Omg who knows what my Bowels want for evacuation!

I give it tons of Water and exercise! It should be a very happy bowel!

My bowel is an asshole.

So I thought I would pop in an give you all an update and a bit of amusement. It appears that my ass was as unhappy with the results of the Miralax and MOM combination causing volcano ass eruptions. I would have thought it would not care, but since then it has apparently thought things over and decided to play nice, or face more MOM and the ensuing calamity.

We have been getting along for a number of days now. Some better than others, but overall my ass appears to be functioning within reason and performing the task assigned to it.

I do keep the MOM on the back of the toilet bowl just so my ass sees it every time I sit down to use the commode, I think my tough love may have cured my ass or at least frightened it enough to properly......ah work.

Oh and @@heather5565 Jesus Christ with all those ass tools you should be able to pass anything. When I was erupting, I was shocked at what came out of my ass. I don't remember eating some of the stuff I saw. But then again, if a kitten had come out I doubt it would have shocked me. (Although said kitten would require years of intensive therapy to have any chance at a happy life)

I would suggest what my PA told me, double doses or Miralax for a couple days, if that does not work, break out the MOM. Senokot is a bulking agent we are not supposed to take until 6+ months out. Don't ask me what a bulking agent is, I just know it's ass related and not on the approved list. I feel that with the impending threat of MOM my ass will stay the course and behave, if not.......... Well, at least it's over pretty quickly.\

Good luck!

Edited December 7, 201510 yr by winklie

There is a medical term called "Explosive Diarrhea" s*** hits the fan,

I don't go for days then my nurses at work hook me up with MOM and boom, beware if you ever end up in the ER and they suggest something called "Go Lightly" it is an oxymoron and you will become a lumberjack taking down logs......... That was a great post guys, n one ever talks about that, or my 3 instances of dumping

@@laguerr13 I live Volcano Ass as it more closely describes the event. Stomach rumbles for awhile, a couple farts, perhaps a little warning blast, then FULL ERUPTION. I produced enough thrust to probably lift myself a couple inches above the bowl. But I was so busy, with, well you know, that I did not feel the need to add counterbalance. Each succesive eruption was less than the initial one. Until I was, well, empty. Then the rumbling stopped. And I just knew I had done it.

I will make sure to stay away from a product called "Go Lightly" or perhaps I should see if my PCP will write me a script for it to add to my arsenal. I could put it next to the MOM and advise my ass, this is next should it become uncooperative again.

Oh and @@heather5565 Jesus Christ with all those ass tools you should be able to pass anything. When I was erupting, I was shocked at what came out of my ass. I don't remember eating some of the stuff I saw. But then again, if a kitten had come out I doubt it would have shocked me. (Although said kitten would require years of intensive therapy to have any chance at a happy life)

I would suggest what my PA told me, double doses or Miralax for a couple days, if that does not work, break out the MOM. Senokot is a bulking agent we are not supposed to take until 6+ months out. Don't ask me what a bulking agent is, I just know it's ass related and not on the approved list. I feel that with the impending threat of MOM my ass will stay the course and behave, if not.......... Well, at least it's over pretty quickly.\

Good luck!

My bowels have been very

very mean to me all week and the WORST this weekend.

Apparently all of what I was taking sat and waited until it had a full army to attack the living sh*t out of my tummy and both large and small intestines.

(Just for more information, I hadn't gone to the bathroom #2 in a week and I'm 11 weeks post op. I drink plenty of Water, exercise and try and get in some raw veggies. Of course it's hard as the a stomach is the size of an egg and Protein before veggies still at this stage)

I've been bullied and beaten.

By my own body.

Hopefully tomorrow they will see that it's Dreaded Monday and will more nice and understanding. And cut me some slack!

I couldn't get sweet pi*s all done today because I had to rush to the bathroom everyone 5 minutes!

Note to self:

Don't take 2 stool softeners twice a day, 2 fibre pills twice a day, Restoralax once a day, bran buds,

2 Senokot at night, MOM at night and expect to be okay!

I was only doing it because thru out the week nothing was happening.

But then all of a sudden i was getting crampy and bloated and well, felt Full!

BOOM

Number 2 showed up!

And a Lot of it. Like all night and all day. Ok bum you're being quite annoying with your constant need for attention!

Ya big baby!

On a good note: tomorrow is my weigh in day.... maybe there will be benefits to such shall I dare say sh*tty weekend!?!?!

@heather5565 I loss 5 pounds in 1/2 an hour. Worked well for me. I was actually kinda happy, even though the ten days I was miserable were terrible, I thought I had hit another stall. Yeah, my ass stalled.

I'm having one of those. Wish me luck.

So an update. Ass is still functioning as per the manual.

I was at the pharmacy today getting a prescription filled and talking to my pharmacist. She's very nice and really cool. I asked her if she had heard of a product called "Go Lightly" and she gasped and said "OMG You don't have to take that do you?!?" I said no, and asked her about it. She said it's used before colonoscopies to completely clear you out. It's very powerful and everyone who takes it complains, in fact she said the worse part is the end when you are passing the last of the fecal matter out and it is still acidic, she recommends people keep baking soda/powder (the base one not the acidic one) to neutralize the acid burning their anus. She asked me why I wanted to know, so I filler her in on my ass troubles and the result of a double dose of Miralax and MOM. She started to laugh, but when I told her I was going to ask my PCP for a script for a bottle she said why? I said, well I keep the MOM on the back of the toilet so my ass sees it every-time I sit down and it keeps it in it's memory of what I can do to it. And I thought I could add a bottle of this to let my ass know who is really in charge. She laughed so hard, she had to excuse herself to go to the ladies room. When she came back she said she was about to pee herself she was laughing so hard. She asked me if I really keep the MOM there and I was like oh hell yes! I'll take a picture. We shared a good laugh. And I am serious about getting a bottle of this stuff, just in case.......

I to am having much complications getting my bowel regular and working. I have done mirilax and can't get regulated and Mom gives me a movement but it is constipated ..so I take a extra dose of mom and have water diarrhea. I don't know the answer. I would like to have a regular bowel habit .. Same time everyday with out constipation. If any one gets it figured out please share

My sleeve surgery was 11 days ago. I've had diarrhea issues for years due to IBS (irritable bowel syndrome). For about a year now, I have been taking probiotics, as recommended by my Gastroenterologist, with miraculous results. After surgery I didn't take it for several days and I had raging diarrhea until I started again. My bowels have been normal ever since starting to take them.Persistent diarrhea disturbs the normal flora in the intestines which causes the diarrhea. I take either Culturelle or Align (both are over the counter,

rotating between the two. After finishing one box of either the Culturelle orAlign, I switch to the other. I found that to be the most way. They are less expensive at Walmart or online. Hope this helps someone!

I take them as well, plus I eat a ton of yogurt (it's like the only treat I eat), it was ass neutral. It did not seem to help me. MOM did. Keep my ass in line too.

That's awful! But extremely funny

@@psvzum

That was the whole intention of this thread to make an amusing topic where we could share information about something not everyone wants to talk about. All my posts, while legitimate in content, are also crafted to make the reader laugh, something I think we can all do more of.

Edited December 12, 201510 yr by winklie