Before surgery we got along quite well. It knew what I expected and I knew what it expected. We worked together. Since surgery it's been on extreme or another. Either I think I am about to pass gas, and...... wind up doing a load of laundry that is nasty, OR days go by where I forget I even have an ass because it does nothing except pass actual gas.

I have been trying to up my Fiber but I am still on stage 4, so no fibrous veggies yet. Chili has been wonderful with the exception of the gas (thanks to whoever discovered gas-x!)

This is how I have felt for the last 10 days or so. See attached image.

So I talked to my Surgeons PA and she suggested double doses of Miralax until I got settled. 3 days and nothing but more of the above. I get over 100oz of Water a day, so that's not it. I called her back and she suggested Milk of Magnesia, commonly referred to as MOM. 4 Tablespoons, lots of tummy grumbling and more of the above. So today I took a double dose of Miralax, and forgot I did and took MOM as well.

Fast forward two hours......

MOM should stand for Massive Out coming Mixture. I thought I was going to pass a bit of gas, and managed to hold off long enough to get to the commode. What happened next is too graphic for publication. I CAN tell you that my recent 'stall' ended I lost 5 pounds in about a 1/2 a hour.

So the lesson here is Trust in MOM. But whatever you do, DO NOT combine it with Miralax, Or you will have the worst case of volcano ass you can imagine.

This has been a public service announcement.

Lmao omg I have not laughed that hard in a long time. I laughed so hard my tummy hurt and I started to cry lol

@@healthyamy

Posts like this make my day. Thank you.