Before surgery we got along quite well. It knew what I expected and I knew what it expected. We worked together. Since surgery it's been on extreme or another. Either I think I am about to pass gas, and...... wind up doing a load of laundry that is nasty, OR days go by where I forget I even have an ass because it does nothing except pass actual gas.

I have been trying to up my Fiber but I am still on stage 4, so no fibrous veggies yet. Chili has been wonderful with the exception of the gas (thanks to whoever discovered gas-x!)

This is how I have felt for the last 10 days or so. See attached image.

So I talked to my Surgeons PA and she suggested double doses of Miralax until I got settled. 3 days and nothing but more of the above. I get over 100oz of Water a day, so that's not it. I called her back and she suggested Milk of Magnesia, commonly referred to as MOM. 4 Tablespoons, lots of tummy grumbling and more of the above. So today I took a double dose of Miralax, and forgot I did and took MOM as well.

Fast forward two hours......

MOM should stand for Massive Out coming Mixture. I thought I was going to pass a bit of gas, and managed to hold off long enough to get to the commode. What happened next is too graphic for publication. I CAN tell you that my recent 'stall' ended I lost 5 pounds in about a 1/2 a hour.

So the lesson here is Trust in MOM. But whatever you do, DO NOT combine it with Miralax, Or you will have the worst case of volcano ass you can imagine.

This has been a public service announcement.

Oh my! Ummmm.......oh my!!

Haha! Perfect!

@maryann~arreola I try to post amusing posts when I can. Sometimes we all need a good laugh, and for some odd reason my ass provides me with a ton of amusing stories.

Ain't that the truth! It's a lot harder then people assume! All is good though....at least my ass likes me ????

@@maryann~arreola Oh you are so far ahead of the game if you and your ass like each other!!! Mine has developed a split (no pun intended!) personality. It's good for just long enough for me to trust it, then NNooooo either too much or too little. I feel like we need ti sit down (again no pun intended) and have a discuss a truce or something.

I just laughed out loud!

You and your ass really need to start getting along!

Although I admit... me and my ass have not discussed a schedule of evacuation or anything.

I eat bran buds, I take stool softeners, I take fibre pills, I occasionally use suppositories and I toot, but actual evacuation of ???? rarely happens.

Where in the hell does it go?!?!?!

I am forever full of poo!

Sorry, TMI.

I never have diarrhea, it's always the opposite!

I go a week without having a BM and then the suppositories have to be brought out.

I should look into this MOM stuff.

Clearly we (me and my bum) need to have some MOM our lives.

@@heather5565

First if I made you laugh out loud, mission accomplished.

Second, yes get some MOM, they suggest taking it before bed, however they also say it is expected to produce a bowel movement in 1/2 to 9 hours. I don't know about you, but the thought of doing an emergency duck waddle into the bathroom at 3 am is not appealing. Or worse, thinking you are passing gas while sleeping and...... laundry time and a lot of mattress scrubbing.....

I am going to continue with Miralax, a single dose and see if I can't work things out. (no pun intended again HAHA)

Before surgery we got along quite well. It knew what I expected and I knew what it expected. We worked together. Since surgery it's been on extreme or another. Either I think I am about to pass gas, and...... wind up doing a load of laundry that is nasty, OR days go by where I forget I even have an ass because it does nothing except pass actual gas.

I have been trying to up my fiber but I am still on stage 4, so no fibrous veggies yet. Chili has been wonderful with the exception of the gas (thanks to whoever discovered gas-x!)

This is how I have felt for the last 10 days or so. See attached image. wood.jpg

So I talked to my Surgeons PA and she suggested double doses of Miralax until I got settled. 3 days and nothing but more of the above. I get over 100oz of Water a day, so that's not it. I called her back and she suggested Milk of Magnesia, commonly referred to as MOM. 4 Tablespoons, lots of tummy grumbling and more of the above. So today I took a double dose of Miralax, and forgot I did and took MOM as well.

Fast forward two hours......

MOM should stand for Massive Out coming Mixture. I thought I was going to pass a bit of gas, and managed to hold off long enough to get to the commode. What happened next is too graphic for publication. I CAN tell you that my recent 'stall' ended I lost 5 pounds in about a 1/2 a hour.

So the lesson here is Trust in MOM. But whatever you do, DO NOT combine it with Miralax, Or you will have the worst case of volcano ass you can imagine.

This has been a public service announcement.

OMG! Thank you for the laughs! I am glad you have finally found relief! But I'm still laughing. ????

@@alishams86

You are most welcome. Humor is the best medicine and as a lot of the topics in here are sad and heartbreaking, I try to bring humor when I can.

This is not over between my ass and me either, I wonder what my therapist would say if I asked her to work with us HAHAHA!!!

We joke in our support group about how much weight we have lost and how much more it will after after a good poop. I refuse to weigh myself unless I've gone poop in the morning.

We joke in our support group about how much weight we have lost and how much more it will after after a good poop. I refuse to weigh myself unless I've gone poop in the morning.

I agree!

I to am having much complications getting my bowel regular and working. I have done mirilax and can't get regulated and Mom gives me a movement but it is constipated ..so I take a extra dose of mom and have water diarrhea. I don't know the answer. I would like to have a regular bowel habit .. Same time everyday with out constipation. If any one gets it figured out please share????

So it sounds a little crazy and the infomercial is embarrassing, but I've been training my bum with a squatty potty! My struggle with constipation was very real. I started adding more natural fiber (apples are my favorite), a good pro biotic, and a squat on the throne every morning and things have been steadily improving with very little...errrr...effort on my part.

Oh Winklie you have done it again! The log in the toilet got me before I even read your message. I'm having the battle of the ass myself, but so far no logs. LMAO. you are way funny. And I'm writing this on my iPad while sitting on the toilet! I can't stop laughing!

Where on earth did you find such a huge log? I may never get over this. Probiotics are really helping, but I still resort to MOM on occasion. Today it's just gas. I'm farting huge loud as I walk around the house and I think it is starting to embarrass my dog. Poor Roger.