So this week I had a definite NSV. I dug out the courage to go have some boudoir photos taken of myself as a gift for my husband.

I still struggle daily with confidence in relation to my body. I still struggle with comprehending what I see in the mirror against what I see as myself in my minds eye, even after maintaining my goal weight for over a year and a half. I still struggle with feeling like an imposter, like a very obese person hiding in a thin body. Every day is a battle ground in my mind it seems. I've been in therapy since 10 months post op, and I don't see that ending any time soon.

But.....I am still making progress mentally, emotionally, and with my self confidence. Never in a million years would I imagine I would be someone with enough confidence to pose for boudoir photos!

I can't even remember what it was that prompted me to take the first step and schedule the appointment. I just remember thinking what an awesome surprise gift it would be for my husband. He has been an absolutely AMAZING support over the past 2 years. He has encouraged me to keep going when I wanted to quit. He has stepped up to help deal with some issues in our marriage that were contributing to my emotional eating. He has put in extra time keeping the "home fires burning" while I put in literally hours and hours and hours training for races and marathons. He has traveled, gotten up at the crack of dawn, stood out in the cold for hours to cheer me on at my races. And perhaps most poignant in my mind is that he has done the not always glamorous tasks involved with caring for me and helping me recover after my 2 surgeries - especially the tummy tuck which was especially non-glamorous and painful.

I thought a book of my boudoir photos for him would be an awesome way to say thank you for the support. But once I made the decision, I actually had to go through with it. I was dreading it and super excited about it all at the same time.

By the end of the shoot I felt confident, strong, and sexy. I was having a complete blast. I cannot wait to go back next week and see the pics. Maybe if I love them I will share one or two of them here. It just blows my mind the ways in which I have changed physically, emotionally, and mentally over the past 2 years. What an awesome journey it has been!

Wow! Sounds like a nice gift for hubby. Congratulations on your mind/ body milestones.

That is actually a great idea for a gift! Not sure I'd have the courage to do it though. It is so amazing that you went through with it and had such a positive and empowering experience. I am sure your hubby is going to love it!

What a great gift not only for him but for you, too!