While those close to me know my struggles and the decision to have weight loss surgery I work with a bunch of gossipy, unhappy and messy women. I chose not to tell coworkers for that very reason (well two people,) and although it got out and my fellow supervisor hated on me so bad she actually made a video and posted it on social media stating I had weight loss surgery and lied and said my gallbladder was taken out.

Actually my gallbladder was taken out at the same time but o chose to keep my journey a secret because of this type of behavior. I'm 37 and never worked with women as such but then again I'm a Cali girl currently living in the country where my husband got stationed.

I'm very very private and have no idea how to answer if someone asks how I lost weight. Any suggestions?

I have some pretty catty coworkers too, who have been nasty to me at times and passive aggressive gossips the rest of the time. I have no intention of telling them.

What's interesting is I only told my 2 close team members I was going to be off for surgery. Never specified what kind of surgery. I didn't tell anyone outside my department that I was even going to be out. But somehow while I was off a woman from another department started texting me under the guise of sharing office gossip, then said "I heard you had surgery... nobody told me what it was for though" As if I was going to share details so she could go back and let everyone know. It made me laugh a bit. But also sad. I just replied thank you, I'm home and recovering now. She was probably annoyed that I gave nothing away. She also hasn't spoken to me since I returned 4 days ago. Not even a good morning. Most people, even the bitchy ones at least gave me a fake "welcome back" the first day.

I'm not ashamed but I'm not sharing anything about my personal life with people like that. My family and real friends know.

I just tell people I'm on a low carb, high Protein diet under doctor supervision. And exercising every day. Surgery was for "stomach issues"

If you are successful, people will figure it out eventually. Simply changing up your diet and working out will not result in weightloss of 10+ pounds a month consistently. I have lost large amounts of weight before without surgery but I did it by following a 600 calorie per day medically supervised liquid diet for 6 months.

They might not know exactly what you did, but they will know if was surgery or something else more drastic than changing up your eating patterns.

Hopefully, you will be so happy about your weightloss soon that you won't care about the gossip anymore. Best of luck to you!

I think my goal was to have it done and get well into my journey before telling anyone. I'm sure people will know soon enough and that's okay but I'm very private and wanted to keep it to myself as long as possible without comments, judgement or people constantly watching me.

... my fellow supervisor hated on me so bad she actually made a video and posted it on social media stating I had weight loss surgery and lied and said my gallbladder was taken out...

That is workplace bullying and harassment and I NEVER use those words lightly. You need to go above your supervisor and to your HR department with this. That's grounds for dismissal.

I actually went over her head but because she removed the video and I couldn't save it, there is nothing they could do about it.

My answer totally depends on where I am, who asked, and how much time I have. Sometimes I'm walking through the hall and an office mate will comment that I've lost weight. For those situations I'll say something quick, like either "thanks for noticing" or if they ask directly what's my secret, I'll say, "Hardly eating anything." Which is true.

For those people I know a little better, or if I'm not in a rush, I'll stop and chat and say I had surgery. So far I've not had any backlash. Everyone I've told has expressed ... almost envy. But I can't imagine how anybody's reaction could make me feel bad about my choice. I think if anyone did say something weird, I'd say, "Better than being morbidly obese the rest of my life. Or dead."

Omg I love that response "better than being morbidly obese the rest of my life."

People ask me all the time. Some are close friends that know I've been overweight for a long time and some just notice my eating habits and my constant referencing about nutritional needs.

If I think the close friends are asking because they want to know how to lose weight themselves, I tell them about the surgery....and how it helped. The rest......get the short version.....which is also the truth.

bottom line: Surgery didn't remove a 135 pound mass form inside me. I worked my butt off (literally) and chose to eat nutrional foods in the correct amounts, yada yada yada.......you've heard all this I'm sure.

All rhetoric aside. Untimately, I'm the one responsible for losing my weight. Granted, the surgery helps immensely in limiting my intake at any one sitting, but at over a year out.......I could easily keep eating the wrong stuff all day long and put the weight back on quickly. You have to stick with life altering changes. Create new healthy habits.

That is all you!! not the surgery. So, how did you lose the weight.........You lost it the right way.....the only way you "can" lose it.

Oh, and and if they should ask "why did you have surgery?" It's really none of their business, but removing the gallbladder or a hernia repair are a couple of good ones....

If you are successful, people will figure it out eventually. Simply changing up your diet and working out will not result in weightloss of 10+ pounds a month consistently. I have lost large amounts of weight before without surgery but I did it by following a 600 calorie per day medically supervised liquid diet for 6 months.

They might not know exactly what you did, but they will know if was surgery or something else more drastic than changing up your eating patterns.

Hopefully, you will be so happy about your weightloss soon that you won't care about the gossip anymore. Best of luck to you!

I think my goal was to have it done and get well into my journey before telling anyone. I'm sure people will know soon enough and that's okay but I'm very private and wanted to keep it to myself as long as possible without comments, judgement or people constantly watching me.

Yes. I realized after the surgery that it might have been a good idea to wait before I told everyone. After I came back, everyone kept waiting for the fat to just disappear overnight. I had to let them know that it would take some time.

I've lost 41 lbs and almost no one can tell the difference yet. I can tell a big difference in the way I feel and the way my clothes feel. Oh well, it will be interesting to see how much I have to lose before it becomes apparent to them.

I tell them that I eat 1000 calories a day and that I work off 500 of those calories, which is completely true. I'm busting my arse!

I don't really feel the need to note the surgery, in that I feel that my weight loss is 30% surgery (if that) and 70% hard work (if not more).

I know that everyone is different. For me, I would have to give the surgery a lot more credit than 30%. I've lost weight and regained it all my life. Without the surgery, I was going to keep getting bigger and bigger. I know that I will have to put in effort to keep the weight off after I lose it. Just not sure how I could give surgery less than 100% credit since I know that I couldn't be successful without it.

Just not sure how I could give surgery less than 100% credit since I know that I couldn't be successful without it.

Wait till the honeymoon stage is over......It's gonna be 98% you to keep it off.

Responses, in order of desirability:

1) Cleaned up the diet

2) Training for a marathon

3) Combination of 1 and 2

4) Just tell them the truth

5) MYOB

I tell them that I eat 1000 calories a day and that I work off 500 of those calories, which is completely true. I'm busting my arse!

I don't really feel the need to note the surgery, in that I feel that my weight loss is 30% surgery (if that) and 70% hard work (if not more).

I know that everyone is different. For me, I would have to give the surgery a lot more credit than 30%. I've lost weight and regained it all my life. Without the surgery, I was going to keep getting bigger and bigger. I know that I will have to put in effort to keep the weight off after I lose it. Just not sure how I could give surgery less than 100% credit since I know that I couldn't be successful without it.

You are correct - we are all different. VSG is helping me to not overeat, but I've never been much of a big eater, with respect to volume. My weight has more to do with the types of food I had been eating: sugars, carbs, saturated fats. In hindsight, it probably would have made more sense for me to get RNY (because Sugar = Dumping). Today, I am 100% dictating what I'm putting in my body at this time, and I am 100% forcing this body to exercise. With my selected healthy food choices, VSG dictates the quantity I'm able to consume. And, yes, it's helpful. But, FOR ME, VSG would be pretty ineffective without my hard work as contribution.

I have had my coworkers ask. I am a nurse so I work with nurses and physicians. A couple of the nurses that I work with seen me running to the bathroom to vomit on numerous occasions over the past year and 1/2. When I had to have my band out emergently due to slip and nonstop vomiting, my coworker asked me. I said abdominal surgery. She was an OR nurse for 30 yrs. Then she said, "you're not going to tell me?". I said no. She also knows that I will be having another "abdominal surgery" next month, but this time she didn't ask. Another coworker also asked. I told her the same thing abdominal....which can mean so many different areas. The nurses that I work with are gossip queens and there is no way in hell am I going to reveal my surgery. In fact one day a few yrs ago, we got on the subject of WLS and her doctor had recommended it. She is very obese with newly diagnosed Diabetes. She went on and on how she could never do bypass or any other WLS, bashing it into the ground. So, I just keep my mouth shut. If asked later, I will say diet restriction and exercise which is true.

I am always truthful and say that I had weight loss surgery. I am not ashamed that I had surgery and I try to let people know that surgery is just the beginning. I always follow up by saying, I work out 5 to 6 days a week and eat clean.

Your case may be different. People can be so rude. I am sorry you have to deal with women like that.

If you are not comfy telling the truth just tell people you'd rather not talk about it. Never be embarrassed or ashamed of taking control of your life and health. People will always find something to talk about, you can choose not to let it bother you. After all, if they are talking they are paying attention. When it comes to the people who lie and spread your business....kill them with kindness. Hold your head high and smile often!

Depends on who I'm talking to and where. I have never shied away from owning the fact that I had bariatric surgery. However if it's just someone in passing I often just say "a lot of hard work". If I'm having a sit down conversation then I definitely talk more about my surgery. Mostly because I don't want people to think it's "the easy way out" or some lazy short cut. I've literally worked my butt off to get here and I'm still working on it. I also don't want people to feel ashamed to have this if it's the right thing for them. However, I'm not going to argue about it with anyone who wants to challenge my decision or make me feel bad for this life choice.