New to dating


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When I say test, I replied to her message but didn't ask a question. We had exchanged 10 messages each and she hadn't asked me anything. If I'm expected to keep the conversation going, that's not going to work for me. I asked open ended questions and it did lead to talking about her travels but she was just answering my questions. She didn't have a lot of details on her profile. This was through Match. It's just weird that she initiates conversation with me and then doesn't seem interested in knowing me.

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So hey how are you girl emailed me back. I had replied to her email and said I was doing well and through her a softball question asking what she does for fun. That was Wednesday. Not holding out a lot of hope but she did answer and ask me what I do so I responded and started asking more thoughtful questions. I was surprised she even responded to me in the first place. She seemed out of my league. She runs marathons and seems like she will be more fit than myself which can be intimidating. I'm really not sure if she truly is interested or not. Guess I'll find out.

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She emailed me back right away this time. Didn't ask me a question though. I'll have to try to dig deeper.

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16 hours ago, sgc said:

She emailed me back right away this time. Didn't ask me a question though. I'll have to try to dig deeper.

Well well well...the fruits of your labor are starting to blossom...no guarantee this will pan out, but like I said, some ladies are tough nuts to crack and extra effort is required. Keep it low key, don't get too personal too quickly and most importantly, have fun with it. You're meeting someone new with potential. And for the record, I do not believe in the phrase "out of my league". Usually when others make that comment to me, " Don't you think she's out of your league?" My response is simple, "Yes but she's seems like she has a good personality so I thought I'd give her a chance." (translation - I am allowing her up into my league) No one is ever too good for you if you feel and believe that you deserve the best life has to offer because of who you are and what you have to give to them. Shine, and make them wonder what you've got as they look inward from the outside of your life. Enjoy your conversations and best wishes.

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Hi sgc,

You began this post nearly 2 years ago. Your requests for advice haven't changed in those 2 years even though you've been given very similar advice many many times. If you keep doing the same thing you are going to continue getting the same results and that is what's happening here. Your stories and answers are repeats of what what said months, and now years, earlier. People who have commented earlier have quit commenting. New people join this forum and they begin offering similar advice that you've already received so this post keeps going. I gave you my suggestions but they were turned down so I quit commenting. At some point you have to step up to the plate and take action. If you have social anxiety then work on that with a therapist before you begin dating. Sometimes I wonder if this is just a game you are playing on all of us who take this forum seriously. SO, if your posts are serious I suggest you go to counseling to work your own issues out. Social Anxiety can't be cured in a forum. I wish you the best.

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1 hour ago, ShelbyMoore said:

Hi sgc,

You began this post nearly 2 years ago. Your requests for advice haven't changed in those 2 years even though you've been given very similar advice many many times. If you keep doing the same thing you are going to continue getting the same results and that is what's happening here. Your stories and answers are repeats of what what said months, and now years, earlier. People who have commented earlier have quit commenting. New people join this forum and they begin offering similar advice that you've already received so this post keeps going. I gave you my suggestions but they were turned down so I quit commenting. At some point you have to step up to the plate and take action. If you have social anxiety then work on that with a therapist before you begin dating. Sometimes I wonder if this is just a game you are playing on all of us who take this forum seriously. SO, if your posts are serious I suggest you go to counseling to work your own issues out. Social Anxiety can't be cured in a forum. I wish you the best.

If that is the case, then yes there may be a bit of social anxiety; and if so, dating is ill advised until some counseling can be obtained to help sort out whatever impediments may be present which can only help him. Dating with these kinds of unresolved issues will only result in difficulties where there need not be any.

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Hi sgc,
You began this post nearly 2 years ago. Your requests for advice haven't changed in those 2 years even though you've been given very similar advice many many times. If you keep doing the same thing you are going to continue getting the same results and that is what's happening here. Your stories and answers are repeats of what what said months, and now years, earlier. People who have commented earlier have quit commenting. New people join this forum and they begin offering similar advice that you've already received so this post keeps going. I gave you my suggestions but they were turned down so I quit commenting. At some point you have to step up to the plate and take action. If you have social anxiety then work on that with a therapist before you begin dating. Sometimes I wonder if this is just a game you are playing on all of us who take this forum seriously. SO, if your posts are serious I suggest you go to counseling to work your own issues out. Social Anxiety can't be cured in a forum. I wish you the best.

I started the thread two years ago before I had even decided on surgery. At that time I was trying to lose weight on my own. I wasn't even looking to date at that time, but I took the advice given here and put myself out there anyways. It was more just looking around. I didn't include pictures and didn't email any women but had women email me and went on a date. I decided to have the surgery and took the advice here and wait until after the surgery. I just started in March getting serious and brought this thread back because I was ready to get serious. This time I decided to post pictures and email women. I even said when I brought this thread back I was basically talking aloud and knew the original people posting here were gone. I have seen a counselor and she prescribed me Paxil. I have gone to social events at work that I never would have went to before (which I did mention in this thread). Today we had our annual employee meeting that I never went to in my previous five years but went to today. I'm pretty socially inept but I get the hint. I'll just let the thread die since it's a game to some people apparently. I've got all I'm going to get from here so I'll figure out.

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