Relationship problems

[BestDayEver 418]

My husband was worried more than anything else. Worried that I would regret my decision and be unhappy. He loves eating healthy and is happy about how I'm cooking dinner these days. I do think he worries about how our relationship might change but as time progresses I think he sees the changes are for the better and has less fear.

[newmebithebypass 713]

my husband is a big guy 340 and 5'11 and hes doing slimfast while i am on this journey he and i made a deal if by this time next year he hasnt lost the weight he needs to and gains it back then he will have the surgery which makes me happy because were each others biggest support and chearleaders i love him to death and next year will be our second wedding aniversary i am hoping by our 3rd i can go to peru with his dad (hubby has family there) and hike machu pichue its so pretty and i miss hiking

[bellabloom 2,467]

My ex said if I had the surgery he would break up with me.

So I dumped him and had the surgery. And now he can't take his eyes off me.

Ha.

Oh and he's gotten fat himself. Haha.

Edited September 17, 2015 by bellabloom

[1SlimmerMe 122]

This is the reason my husband and I chose to have the surgery together. Both of you have work to do; you have to go the extra mile to make sure he feels secure and he has to do the work to be secure. As long as you fell in love with the characteristics that aren't physical you should be fine...I just hope those don't change! LOL!

The best to you.

[LoseItKacy 347]

My boyfriend is really healthy. Super slim. Lives with roommates who are body builders who eat sleep and breathe fitness. They have never been over weight a day in their life. So when my boyfriend brought me over for the first time when I met them I felt SO out of place.

Honestly I felt terrible. Like I wasn't good enough. Now that Im getting the surgery 1. His roommates (who are now my friends) are completely supportive even when I never thought they would be 2. My boyfriend has really stepped up to encourage me. He works with me every step of the way and has been on my liquid diet with me (just to support)

So from my standpoint it's made us stronger. Even tho he can't relate to what I'm going through and doesn't understand why my weight got to where it is, he has been my comfort through all of this. It takes a lot to talk about your insecurities, even with your significant other, but if your open and honest and willing to work together (which doesn't mean eat the same things but providing the right kind of support) everything will be ok. It's a journey for you and everyone around you. It's a learning process and it's not easy.

Seeing my bf go out to the bar knowing I can't drink sucks. I resent that he can just eat a huge burger. But I know when it comes down to it, he will always have my back and be there for me through all this.

Best of luck. <4

[losing2win 23]

My husband had never been obese; when he was overweight, he dropped the pounds and has not had a problem in years with his weight. Now that I'm doing surgeon consultations, I'm opening up more about addressing my weight. We have never talked about it. He seems supportive so far. I've tried some of everything over the past 4 years. He hasn't complained. I think me considering surgery is bringing us closer. I'm having to explain my struggles. We are communicating more about other things, too. I hope things don't change for the worse. I will be hope fur the best for everyone else here, too.

[beba3377 55]

My husband and I were talking and he made a comment that hit close to home. He asked me if after the surgery will I change towards him or want him to loose weight. My husband is a big guy but I love him the way he is and he could lose a couple of pounds for medical concerns but I'm ok with him. Are any of you willing to admit if you are experiencing some change after WLS in regards to relationships or judegements?

Yes I have gone through this

[longjohs 11]

My husband is.supportive, he's just worried I will want to split and share meals in resteraunts he doesn't want to share his.food! lol

[imsoglad56 402]

My husband and I both had the sleeve surgery on the same day, so this hasn't been a big issue for me. Neither one of us is judgey with the other for making bad choices or even gaining a pound or two. We both know what it's like. And really, I can't even imagine ever being that way with him regardless of what happened, even if he re-gained all the weight he's lost. To me, my marriage is my safe place, my home. I would never want to treat my husband in a way I wouldn't want to be treated, and I surely wouldn't want him to be all judgemental with me.

[misscleatus 0]

Thanks Sonitas.

[mmwishart 41]

My husband has terrible eating habits. He also wears an insulin pump. This does not prevent him from eating ice cream, chips, candy, Pasta, etc. He also asks me if I want some. I think he's sad he's lost his pig out buddy.

I can't make him eat healthy stuff-and I've tried. I can only be responsible for me.

[Santiago Draco 73]

What I find interesting about this post is how many of you have significant others who are overweight, many significantly.

Guess what! There is a way to help them. It's called Gastric Sleeve surgery and... they can do it too!

Kind of meant in a humorous way but the reality is that if your significant other is also (or was also) obese then it could be unlikely they will change... it's hard after a lifetime of bad choices and learned habits.

I think that men often see weight loss surgery as a cop out, a signpost that reads "I'm weak". I felt that way. I wanted to do this on my own and when the surgery was suggested by my knee surgeon I told him exactly that. His response was it's a tool and how has wanting to do it on your own been going for you at 50?

I'm a convert. I think if a person can do this on their own excellent. If not, well, here we are.

Good luck all with your journey and keep those relationships strong.

[jmw1982 59]

My boyfriend is a larger man. He was very supportive when I was going through the pre op stuff. Don't misunderstand. He's still supportive, but it wasn't until after surgery he told me more about his ex. She had surgery, lost 100 pounds, and left him. I have reassured him this won't happen with me. If a man didn't want me at my highest weight, he doesn't deserve me once I'm thinner. I'm the same person, just a different package.