So I'm 26 now I recently sleeved, and this topic is WLS related. But since there are a lot of women here who are/were overweight and struggling with their weight, I thought I would ask a question about MEN. Can anyone relate to this problem?

I have been everwight since I were a child and this really affected my confidence. I'm still kind of a pretty-face girl, and men do hit on me from time to time (not that often, but it does happen). And yet i usually reject them right away, even when there is a certain physical attraction. I just assume they are approaching me cause the think I'm an easy target - 'obviously a chabby girl won't miss that kind of opportunity' kind of thing. I know it's pretty stupid sometimes, but then, it seems to me men often are much bolder and daring with overweight girls.

So from time to time it makes me think how many opportunities of meeting great men I missed because of my low self-confidence. Does anyone have/ did have the same issues?

I find that personality goes as long if not farther than physical appearances. Sure some men are only interested in the physical and they will quickly show their cards, however some are attracted to an intelligent woman, who likes herself and carries herself well. Dating has never been an issue for me even at my heaviest. Work on liking yourself and telling yourself you are worthy. Don't settle for anything less!

when i was in my 20's and looked best in my life, men were NASTY to me==you wouldn;t believe some of the stuff i'd hear walking down the street...i gained weight, got old and frumpy, and it was a relief not to have to deal with that kind of rude attention that i got when i looked the best i ever had. i became invisible and it was a definite improvement. some years later i took a course with a beatiful girl who was an exotic dancer. she said as a dancer, the better you look, the nastier men treat you! she would dress down and leave off her makeup to avoid being hassled when she3 wasn;t working. so men are incomprehensible LOL

anyway...see if there is a pattern of where you are when guys are checking you out. you will probably meet very different quality of men in a library or church than in a mall or club...and as you said, your in a lot of changes right now and if feeling unsure better to skip guys for a while. insecurity and neediness draws undesirables like blood in the water draws sharks.

I think about this a lot.

There are definitely men who like big women!!!!! No doubt about it. If they were hitting on you it was for a reason and probably a good one. That stuff is in your head- those guys wanted you.

But the fact is, most men don't go for big women. Since I've lost weight, it's incredible the amount of attention I get from men. Everywhere I go. One dude walked into a pole over me! I online date and I get bombarded, whereas when is was just 30 pounds heavier it wasn't nearly as common for me to get a date. At this weight I can go out with anyone I want. Men drool over me.

That said, I believe that partly it's a cultural thing. I think sexually men prefer curves. But socially, they like the arm candy of a thin girl. Thinness is praised in our society as signaling success and strength. Being overweight is viewed as a sign of weakness, laziness and poor health.

Then again, I as a woman like a man to be bigger than me. I like to feel little. Isn't it likely the opposite for men that they like a woman to be small so that they feel large and manly?

There is no denying most men prefer slender and/or athletic. They are looking for someone healthy to mate with, have babies, etc. they want to have some arm candy to show off. It's human nature.

There is also no denying there are exceptions to the rule. A lot of men like heavy girls! They are out there! So if a guy is hitting on you, believe him. Especially if he is doing it in public in front of his buddies. He likes you.

One more thing: so much of how attractive we are comes down to how we carry ourselves. When I was overweight I was not an ugly woman. I've never been ugly. But how I carried myself was. I didn't dress up, I didn't wear nice clothes, I didn't shine from the inside. I was grumpy and morose and looked like I hated life.

I've know large woman who glow and live up their looks and own it. And they are damn hot!!!! I find overweight woman to be extremely sexy when they rock their looks and love themselves. So sexy.

So much if it comes down to how we feel within.