I'm 15 months post VSG and have lost about 130 lbs. Earlier this month, my surgeon, dietician and primary care dr. got together and decided to change my nutritional macros because of an ongoing issue I'm having, increasing my calories and almost doubling my carb consumption. As a result, I regained 7 pounds. I'm having a hard time with the regain, both mentally and physically.

Anyway, last night at the gym, someone (who I would consider a gym friend) looked at me and said "you look thicker. . . I guess you've started gaining all your weight back." Her words hit me like a ton of bricks. I wanted to cry, but just continued on with the class. I didn't know how to respond. I don't think the 7 lbs (4 of which have come off) made me look any different and my clothes still fit fine, but there's always that doubt). I keep hearing her words on an endless loop in my head and I'm alternating between wanting to eat everything in sight (hello emotional eating) or restricting my calories down to nothing until the weight comes off (hello eating disorder??).

Ugh, why can't people mind there own business??!?! Sorry for being so long winded, but I needed to get it out and I knew you guys would understand how I'm feeling. What mechanisms do you all use to keep people from influencing you, your moods and the path you're on. I need help today!

Thank you all! I think the reason it impacted me so much is because she doesn't know that I actually HAVE gained the 7 lbs back. If it wasn't for that, I completely would have laughed her comment away as I don't take her very seriously. I know things will be great if I continue to trust the process (and my doctors) and follow the plan! Just needed to get it off my chest!

Friend? I think not.

This is why I am reluctant to tell most people about the surgery.

It's like it gives them a license to judge.

Well that was a crappy thing to say! If it makes you feel better (it always makes me feel better) I read a study once that people cannot tell that a person has gained weight until they hit the 10 pound mark- anything under that is not noticeable. I feel like when I go up or down a few pounds that I can tell I look a little thick, but my clothes fit fine so I just remind myself of that study and I feel a little less self-conscious.

I was very "out" from the get go about the fact that I was having surgery and I have had almost 99% support from everyone who knows. However, I had a "friend" who, after I began telling people I was having/had had surgery, posted on facebook that she had lost 10 pounds and was so proud of herself for "not doing it the easy way". I knew it was a jab at me that originated out of her own envy, so I just shrugged it off. Well, she recently stopped by my house for a visit and her face when she saw me said everything. Not only did I notice she had gained those 10 pounds back and then some, but it was obvious she was shocked at the amount of weight I had lost myself. The jealousy was palpable. She had a lot of questions about the surgery that night. The best revenge against catty people like that is to just do you and be the best you you can be, because people who worry too much about you ain't worrying enough about themselves and it always ends up biting them in the ass.

I can't wait to see @@LipstickLady's response. I would probably burst into tears and run out.

Seriously. That is so rude. Mean people suck.

She's a thoughtless, rude person who doesnt stop and think before she opens her mouth. That is all.

@@Paige Dukes Karma can be a wonderful thing. I find so often that Karma takes care of matters like this! lol

I am so sorry that happened! What a horrible thing to say! Unbelievable! I'm enraged for you! I hope you have an opportunity to tell her that was inappropriate some day.

Tell her you'd like to spot her the next time she's doing bench presses.

Seriously.

Then ask her again.

And again.

Stacyg1, That’s totally out of line! Nobody should be rude enough to say things like that, and especially not a “gym friend,” since she obviously knows how hard you work since you’re both at the “gym,” and since apparently you two are supposed to be supporting each other as “friends!”

Don’t even listen to her. She probably has no idea how hurtful she was. You could try telling her, but there’s a chance she won’t even remember the comment. People say things without thinking, and what they just say assuming is an off-hand comment can be something they don’t realize is a huge deal and hurtful comment for you.

You have done wonderfully, and I have to congratulate you on what you are doing. You are trying to find the best nutritional diet for you, rather than trying to just go with what wasn’t working. You’ve done amazingly with your weight loss, and now you’re getting to the next stage where you’re going to find the meal plan that will work for you long-term.

Don’t worry about her!

Tell her to go **** herself.

Seriously the only way to stop rude smug people from walking all over you it to shock them into shutting up.

Sure would be my first gut level response... but would likely do my favorite, look at the commenter, look really shocked and incredulous, say "WHY WOULD YOU SAY THAT?" in a loud voice, and abruptly walk away... knocks those haters on their butts every time....

That is a nicer response. I am grumpy in ketosis so I will just go for the jugular.

I think this just goes to show...that some people will always assume we took the easy way out so are less than them...and to justify this idea they can throw comments around like that, also to make them feel like their efforts are greater and will last where ours wont. Basically a bully mentality. And Bullies suck!

Your "gym friend" is no friend. I'd make it point to stoop to her level and give her some similar information about herself, and then be done with her. None of us need acquaintances like that.