I had the VSG surgery on 6/22 and only told a few people. There's a gal that I've known my entire life, we've referred to each other as "best friends" for as long as I can remember.... but she wasn't one of the people that I shared the secret with, now I know why.

I had dinner with her last night. She lives a couple of hours away, so we only see each other 3-4 times a year. The last time I saw her was in March, I was 214 pounds and had long hair. FYI, I haven't weighed under 205 in 6 years.

Last night, I walked in (feeling very proud of my almost 40 pound weight loss.....and I also cut my hair into a short, sassy style. I didn't know right away if I would share the secret with her, was going to play it by ear) and her immediate reaction was all about the hair. For 30 minutes, all she talked about was how cute my hair looked. She couldn't understand why I wasn't going to drink with her, she ordered a beer and I drank Water. That conversation went on for a while.....I just told her I didn't want a glass. Then she put a piece of bread on my plate. I promptly removed it. I asked the waiter if I could have something special made in the kitchen, he said YES. She said "have you started ANOTHER diet"?

She wouldn't let it go..... so I told her. I also told her that I've lost almost 40 pounds, which she hadn't noticed. She said "you look just like you did before". Well that isn't what I want to hear.....She couldn't believe that I used to weigh 214, said it was impossible. Nope, it's not impossible, it's the TRUTH. She was hurt that I hadn't included her earlier in the secret, but I told her that you never know how people will react..... and I never expected her reaction either.

So besides not noticing that I've lost 40 pounds, and arguing with me that I didn't weigh that much to begin with, I get home and find this email from her:

OK, the more i thought about your weight, on the way home, I haven't seen you since the hockey game and you looked the same to me...I know it has to suck for anyone not to notice that much weight loss AND and a new haircut!!!! Your hair was at least 30 lbs...So proud of you to go thru that and I will help you however i can...

So now my haircut caused my weight loss? I know she loves me and didn't mean for things to come out the way they did. But this has really set me back. I've worked very hard and it's breaking my heart.

I took it as she was joking .. And I think it's awesome she offered to help.

I can understand you feeling how you do about the way she handled it but I believe she didn't mean harm by it. As I went through this I kind of started figuring out who saw me as fat and who saw me as me by who commented and how they commented on my weight loss. It's one of those things you end up getting used to.

She may have felt awkward in not knowing the appropriate reaction to your news. I would not take it personally. Judging by her email she did try to make up for it, so she must care about you, sometimes we need to "teach" people what we want or need from them especially when it comes to something they don't understand. Give her time.

So sorry you didn't get the reaction you wanted from your bf. I had lost 110lbs before anyone noticed my weight loss. Just last week I had 5 people ask me if I lost weight. Not one before that. Sometimes people are clueless.

Don't let her reaction discourage you. 40lbs is amazing! Congrats

I lost 75 pounds before people started noticing. I'm 5 freaking 2. You're being sensitive. I was, too, so I get it.