Did anyone tell children ?

[kayjaywlj 3]

I'm wondering how or if you discussed your surgery with your children . I'm a mother of five but two oldest children 17 and 10 are very observant . My oldest I told him I was thinking about it and my 10 year old daughter was looking at my folder that I got from dr office and she was in my room when I was making the appointments for the other doctors. I spoke with her and told her that I was thinking about the surgery . As we were talking she began to tear up and start to cry . When I ask why she was crying she said anything can happen with surgery. I tried to reassure her that everything will be ok but she was still uneasy . How can I put them at ease ?

[Elode 8,093]

I told my daughters 13,15 my son is only 5 so he wouldn't understand. My girls were surprisingly Supportive of it (not that they had a choice) they helped me in the hospital and when I got home, my 13 yr old exercises with me EVERY time. She's only 120 lbs so she doesn't need to I think she just does it to keep me going. Once it over they will see it's fine. They will enjoy that new mom...until you start wearing their clothes ha!

[tacha22001 38]

I shared with my daughter. I told her the truth that I want to prolong and better my life so I can be more active with her and so I can help teach her how to make healthier choices

And be a better role model. My daughter is 12 and an only child. She went with me to some dr appointments and was there before and after surgery with my husband. She helped me when I got home. I was told not to lift over 8 lbs the 1st week and not over 20 lbs the 1st month. My husband had to work out of town and she stepped right up to lift the pet food bags to feed the animals and to take out the trash she was a great help. I am down close to 40 lbs and she is down 4 lbs. We walk together And measure each other weekly and watch our progress. It a family event when my husband is home too we support each other.

We all are getting healthier together.

[Need4Change 26]

I have four children and two of them know. My oldest daughter is 22 and will stay with us for a couple of days to get my younger daughters off to school (7 & 10) and help care for my son (13 months), while my husband is on night shift. I told my 10 year old, but not my 7 year old. The 10 year old is very smart and I knew she'd figure something was up. She was worrisome at first and asked a lot of questions, but as I answered, she became understanding and supportive. I didn't tell the 7 year old because she is a blabber mouth.

[jess9395 5,448]

My kids were 11 and 16 and I told them. I emphasized the health benefits and that I would live longer and be able to participate in life activities.

[kayjaywlj 3]

Thanks everyone I explained to her my struggles with my weight and she has help me with dieting efforts. But it broke my heart when she started to cry .

[justme29 76]

My son is 9. He has also seen some of my books. He has not yet asked. He just always thinks you go to the dr for being sick. So I told him I Am not sick. I am going to the dr for something good. I have been eating healthy and they are helping me to do so. The goal is to get to ride all the rides at the theme park with him. So, I simply told him I'd be working really hard and soon I'd be able to outrun him. But he told me never, he's just too fast and some times goes slower just so I don't feel as slow. But I will have to tell him something. I think I will just tell him the dr fixed my tummy.

[LessOfMe0503 157]

I told my 8 year old. I was very matter of fact about it. He was scared and said he didn't want me to have the surgery because he was afraid I would die. I acknowledged that fear and told him that surgery could be scary. I followed it up with the fact that I could die tomorrow with or without the surgery and that I wasn't scared. I talked to him about how I trusted my doctors and I wasn't scared. We talked a lot about what would happen during the surgery in terms of how it would impact him and that calmed him down. I have a dear friend who is retired and he calls nana that he stayed with the nights before and after my surgery. We also talked about how my mom (mawmaw) would come down to take care of us. Having the knowledge helped him but tailor your discussion to what your kids will need. I felt like I had to tell him because (a) I'm a single mom and have been relying on friends for support and ( it is changing our lives and he needed to know why.

[notforthefaint 264]

I am divorced, essentially a single mom and I told my son, he is 10 (turns 11 on Sept 1st, my surgery is Sept 3rd). He cried at first and I asked him why?, he said it was because he was scared and didn't want anything to happen to me. I explained that I didn't want anything to happen to me either and that he was my reason "why", that I need to be around for a lot more years for him. That was back in May and now he is very supportive and understanding. I installed Skype on his ipad so we can skype while I am in the hospital. We actually tested it out tonight. One of my good friends is going to bring him to see me the day of my surgery (because he wants to see me with his own eyes to make sure I am ok), he said what he really wants is to be able to stay with me in the hospital and I told him that they wont allow that. I think if you explain to your daughter, are honest and answer any questions that she has she will be ok. Kids just want to feel like they are in the loop.

[StephBtoo 28]

LOL our son is 17 and I doubt anything goes on around here that he doesn't know about...my hubby is terrible about keeping something to himself... I talked to my son about it and we had a pretty frank discussion about the pro and cons and the risk with surgery and the risk if I don't do the surgery... He is very supportive, he said his greatest wish is that I'll be healthy, happy, and around for a long time!!!

[Seerae3 36]

My son is grown, he's 21 and I told him right away. His step-mother had a gastric bypass 10 years ago and so he remembers some of that. He was supportive, he had a lot of good questions and we sat down and went over everything in detail. I'm a little more concerned with co-workers. I work with a lot of women in a healthcare setting and I'm not looking forward to their assumptions.

[cindyw41 761]

My son is 17 and my daughter is 19. They both did not like the idea at first. I took my daughter to the seminar with me. The Dr and nurses did such a great job explaining everything that she had a different outlook afterwards. This is a family thing. They have to be all in as to not have little sabotagers living with you. (Lol..????) honestly though I'll need their help.

[naturegirl 320]

My kids are 10, 8, 5, and 4. I told them that mommy was having tummy surgery and that some of my tummy would be removed. That I will have owies on my belly, and will be in some pain. Plus I won't be able to eat/drink much. The older two have a much better understanding of why I had the surgery and what I can/not eat. The younger two are more conscientious of my belly and that food and I don't always get along. I try to be honest with my children and explain at a level appropriate to them.