Worst things people have said to you or behind your back regarding surgery

[Susan66 128]

Thank you everyone, these were all great responses. I know I will use many of them.

[mngreeneyes 674]

Thanks everyone for the great responses. I have my very first appointment on Friday. (I've been to the info session already). I have done all my homework about my insurance, etc. I have my Psych evaluation on the 21st. I have coworkers who I have told and my friends in my support system since I am single and may need to rely on many of them during recovery. I haven't told my family. I have promised my boss and good friend that I will follow the psych's recommendation on whether to tell my family or not. My parents have gotten more unpredictable as they have aged. I too think they will think I am taking the easy way out, but I also know it would hurt them terribly if I don't tell them and they find/figure it out.

You have posted so many great strategies. Thanks again!

pam

[kyeamen 10]

If someone every said to me I'm taking the easy way out... I'll say hell yeh...

If that's what you call it,really how many people are fortunate enough to have WLS. Most of the ones that say that ...are afraid of what and whom you will become after WLS. Most insurance companies won't cover it, most can't self pay. Let's be real about this I was jealous has hack when my BBF had RVY...and left me (fat, miserable and lonely).

That's what I believed before her surgery. She didn't change I did.

I'm sure someone can identify with me on that.

Openly or undercover....lol

Let face it we need the help to lose the wait. Why is it the diseases caused by obesity are openly discussed and I'm sure everyone friends and family knows about that if you have them. Is OKAY. But a tool that choose to use that could in a lifetime of obesity related diseases mental stressed and depression and millions of dollars is a big secret? ???

I don't get it.

I don't care who knows I'm having WlS... I thank God I am grateful. I am humble. I am happy. And I will be around to see my grandkids one day. And if you don't like it and if you think I'm taking the easy way out you are entitled to your opinion but you don't pay no bills here you don't you are not my insurance company and your opinion doesn't matter to me. And by the way you weren't saying that when I was fat. Lolol

[kyeamen 10]

Used goggle talk type sorry about typeos didn't prove read before I posted. Just a little passionate about that topic..

Who knows.

[lealor 127]

omg. I told one of my best friends today and she was very aloof and said..... I hope it works for you!" im like o.....ok? she is struggling with her weight and I think she is jealous or that I am taking the easy way out. I am using all my savings and going through 2 countries to get the surgery. Wow, I felt very sad.

[Knitchic 97]

We have to put ourselves first. We are doing this for our health. They will come around.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

F^ck 'em if they don't support you. Seriously. This is NOT their journey, NOT their health, NOT their life. If they can't handle it, it's not YOUR problem. They can suck it when you are thinner, healthier, more comfortable.

Their opinion of what you are doing is NONE of your business unless they are supporting you.

That's just me, though.

[bamp62 2]

Their intentions are not to harm you in any way,it's family any at the end you still have to love them.but if you have made this decision to have your surgery stick to it always have in mind why? (Your health) you are doing it and not to please anyone else.im telling you this cause I decided on the week before to cancel because my daughter "didn't believe this was the proper way of losing the weight"I'm not angry at her just disappointed that I didn't have the courage to go thru this without her blessing.wishing you the best????

[VLime 3]

I understand the frustration with family. Like those here who talk about toxic relationships and who to tell, I am excluding most of my family. My parents passed away in 2009, so that's a non-issue, but i'm pretty sure i'd get that "you're not that big, blah, blah, blah" from them. My sister is a no at the moment because she has had serious food issues most of her life, she's bulimic and over exercises, and being currently in the military, she has it under control, but yeah, don't think that would be supportive. My brother, he was the baby of the family, and his ideas on life and such are pretty narrow minded right now, and since my medical problems started amping up a couple years ago, he doesn't even call me to talk, so again, no support. They both live on the east coast and I'm in the southwest, so, again...not really part of my support system, so not telling them.

My husband was actually my first barrier in this because he was scared when i talked to him about it. I had just had a hysterectomy because of a pre-cancerous condition, and my asthma has me on oxygen, and in the past two years, i nearly had my leg amputated from freak complications of a simple surgery. I started the process of WLS before i spoke to him about it because i knew he'd be hesitant. Once I got him to actually meet with the surgeon and we were able to bring up any and everything we could think about the options, my hubby finally came to the conclusion that this is really in my best interest.

As for my in-laws, they are supportive so once I was able to get my husband on board, we've talked with them about it, and we are good.

[kyeamen 10]

Good luck to us all...

Don't worry about what others think...

I for instance would rather them talk about me getting healthy, instead of talking about me at my funeral. Happy Place!!!!! .....Everyone one don't let negative take you from it. Every since I've started my journey I've been in my HAPPY PLACE( DAILY). It's been along time that I've had multiple days, unobtainable goal, that I believe in myself

[NikkiDoc 312]

See if you can get your daughter to go with you to a surgeons visit or to one of the informational sessions. Maybe when she sees some of the statics of weight loss surgery success and safety she will be a little more open. Even is she doesn't approve I hope you change your mind and have it done. You have to live with your body and your health. She does not. It should be your decision not hers.

Since she doesn't approve of you getting WLS has she stepped up to help you lose weight in other ways? Is she walking with you? Going to the gym with you? Helping you with shopping and meal planning? Going to Weight Watchers with you? If she is just saying WLS isn't the right way for you but isn't being supportive by actually helping you find the "right" way that isn't fair. That is setting you up to fail.

Don't let yourself go another few years, another few diets that only work for a short time and add a few dozen more pounds before you decide to do what YOU need to do for YOUR health and wellbeing before have the WLS. Time and again I see people on this board saying their biggest regret is not having the surgery done sooner.

In the end it is your life and your choice. It would be nice if you have your daughter's support but not necessary. If you think that your daughter was able to sway you because you weren't ready for surgery that is fine and I understand. WLS is a big commitment and not for everybody. And just because now isn't the right time doesn't mean it won't be in the future.

If you let her sway you because you didn't want to disappoint her and took the path of least resistance that is a shame. If that is the case then some therapy to help you understand why your daughter's feelings are more important than your health may be a good idea.

Good luck whatever you decide to do.

(not sure why my quote of Bamp62 didn't work)

Edited August 4, 2015 by NikkiDoc