So the other night I was totally thrown for a loop and for the first time in a long time, I was actually rendered speechless. I was at a parent dinner meet and greet for a new sport my youngest is part of. I knew only 3 or 4 people (out of about 40) as this is my daughter's first year on the team.

I have known the woman who organized it (as well as her husband) forever. Her husband has always been very friendly with me, but we rarely see each other because they are both the most boring people on earth. Nice enough, but not people I want to hang around.

The husband came over to me and in front of about 15 people I've never seen in my life said, "Hey! How are you? And where is the rest of you?". Truly oblivious, I assumed he was asking about my husband as there were MANY dads there and I said that he was still at work. I've not been fat for over a year and a half and NO ONE mentions it anymore. People I've never met would have no idea I was ever fat.

He goes on to say, "Well, you've lost at least 100 or more pounds, right? I mean, you've lost at least half of yourself. Where did it go?" Immediately all eyes were on me and I had no idea what to say. (Weird, I know. I ALWAYS have something snarky to say. Long day, I guess.)

What a freaking beast. It was completely uncomfortable and awkward for me and I could tell a few of the ladies around me could feel it. Someone tried to make a joke that she "found it" and a few people f***ng congratulated me on something they know NOTHING about. I've left my fat life behind, how could this one jackhole completely throw me back into that world with a few sentences? One of my biggest reasons for losing the weight and my only real insecurity about being obese was how much I hated being "the fat mom" at every event. Leaving that world behind has been the best part of this whole experience and he brought it all slamming right back into the present.

I'm still pissed. I am going to see him endlessly throughout the summer and the season. I want to kick him in the nuts really bad. ARGH!!!

if youd like me too, ill fly out and kick him in the nuts for you. I wouldnt want your foot to bet possibly bruised kicking a d*ick in the d*ick.

Absolute morons. i swear.

Good for you not killing him on the spot. let him say goodbye to his friends first....then kill em.

Not being there, have to take your word is was not meant as a compliment....

Early on, I was in that type of spotlight....once, right in the middle of a Clinic, surrounded by patients, techs, etc...some medical salesman just shouted out "Man..what happened to you!..?"

Then went on to inform everyone...mostly strangers, what a transformation I went through...

All I could say was "All Right, Thank You for noticing, ....now let me get back to work or get out of the room"

BTW, I don't buy or recommend his product anymore...

I still like the idea of accidentally kicking him in the coconuts! I bet he would keep his mouth shut from then on!

Chalk it up to pure stupidity!

Sometimes you have to just suck it up and understand it was most likely meant as a compliment.

Here's what happened to me. I was out of the office for nearly 8 weeks after my hip surgery. When I came back, I had some new clothes and had dropped additional weight. One of the cab drivers at the train station who had been driving me regularly to the office said to me, 'wow...you're not fat anymore.' Rude? Insensitive? Yes. Meant that way? No. The man was not born in the US and English was not a first language for him.

It was a compliment regardless of how it came out and I just had to laugh and take it as one. Believe me...I am so happy that most folks don't say anything anymore about my weight loss. But there will be times that someone will say something because they simply haven't had the opportunity to see you during the process.

His wife probably put him up to it. I don't know any smart man that would comment on a women's weight. #Haters

Wow, he really is obtuse. Unfortunately some people ( men in general?) are. If he is as boring as you say he is he probably doesn't have very good social skills. Sorry that your first reaction was to feel badly, but who wouldn't? You know you are pretty wonderful, right?

Well it beats being asked when your baby is due. .when you are not pregnant

This is kind of the way I feel when I run across these people

Edited June 11, 201511 yr by OKCPirate

I'm absolutely certain he wasn't complimenting me. In fact, his tone was sort of derisive. I wasn't "hurt" by it, I was more shocked and appalled before I got pissy. I think I was so taken aback was because it's been so long since my surgery, I no longer think of myself as a fattie, former or otherwise.

How have I handled such nonsense in the past? Usually with a cold "Why in the world would you ask/say that?", "That's such a strange thing to say to someone!" or "You probably didn't mean to sound as rude as you were." This was not the time for any of those replies as I was in front of a group who have no idea who I am and as this is for my kid, I could hardly resort to shooting missals. Once they get to know me a bit better, I can assure you, I won't be so quiet.

hold your head high and be proud of how far you have come the little worm should be looking for a hole to hide in

sometimes people want to compliment but don't know how. I think he probably meant well but didn't have the finesse that you expected. Don't be angry for long, just remember to forgive and forget. It's part of the process I think as well transform from former obese people . I know I am not as sensitive as I was when I was heavier. I hope you become friends with the couple if only for the sake of your kids. There are many people in my life that I didn't really want to hang out with but because my kid was involved with their kids I made a effort to be cordial. Pick your battles wisely there will be plenty of them in the future.

I wonder if he was just trying to be complimentary? I'm 18 months post-op and have been at my goal weight for close to a year now. In the beginning, there were tons of people commenting on my weight loss. At first, I enjoyed it. It made me feel good about what I was doing for myself. However, it went on for so long that I began to worry that it would never stop. I wondered if I would ever just be "normal" again rather than being "the former fat girl". I was tired of it. Really. I'm not sure when it happened really but eventually that all stopped and I became "just another person" to all of the people I'm around all the time. However, I still get some pretty interesting reactions from those I haven't seen in a long while. And I can understand what you're saying...Eventually it just gets old and you just want to be "just a normal person" and you want to forget that the former fat girl ever existed. You just want it to all be in the past. And then someone you haven't seen in ages brings it up. Again. I've learned to just accept the compliments gracefully and then quickly change the subject. I think most people mean well and when you've lost as much weight as we have, it's shocking for them and they almost don't know what to say either. So they try to compliment you. Unfortunately it doesn't always sit well.

Having said all of that, if he he was truly just trying to be a jerk and point out your history of weight problems, I'm with the rest of the gang here...kick him in the coconuts next time!

So the other night I was totally thrown for a loop and for the first time in a long time, I was actually rendered speechless. I was at a parent dinner meet and greet for a new sport my youngest is part of. I knew only 3 or 4 people (out of about 40) as this is my daughter's first year on the team.

I have known the woman who organized it (as well as her husband) forever. Her husband has always been very friendly with me, but we rarely see each other because they are both the most boring people on earth. Nice enough, but not people I want to hang around.

The husband came over to me and in front of about 15 people I've never seen in my life said, "Hey! How are you? And where is the rest of you?". Truly oblivious, I assumed he was asking about my husband as there were MANY dads there and I said that he was still at work. I've not been fat for over a year and a half and NO ONE mentions it anymore. People I've never met would have no idea I was ever fat.

He goes on to say, "Well, you've lost at least 100 or more pounds, right? I mean, you've lost at least half of yourself. Where did it go?" Immediately all eyes were on me and I had no idea what to say. (Weird, I know. I ALWAYS have something snarky to say. Long day, I guess.)

What a freaking beast. It was completely uncomfortable and awkward for me and I could tell a few of the ladies around me could feel it. Someone tried to make a joke that she "found it" and a few people f***ng congratulated me on something they know NOTHING about. I've left my fat life behind, how could this one jackhole completely throw me back into that world with a few sentences? One of my biggest reasons for losing the weight and my only real insecurity about being obese was how much I hated being "the fat mom" at every event. Leaving that world behind has been the best part of this whole experience and he brought it all slamming right back into the present.

I'm still pissed. I am going to see him endlessly throughout the summer and the season. I want to kick him in the nuts really bad. ARGH!!!

Soooooooooo...... I can possibly see a different reason and attitude for his conversation with you. I'm still at the stage of meeting people who I haven't seen in a while, and hear, "wow!", "hey skinny", "are you OK?", "how much weight have you lost?", "what are you doing to lose?" If other people are around, it draws attention and that makes me uncomfortable, so I get why it bugs you. But most of these people are my friends and mean no harm, they legitimately care or want to know what's going on in my life. If I'm asked by an acquaintence and I don't want to get into it with them, I just say, "thanks" and change the subject. It's our journey to share with others or not, and if it's people we don't know, they'll never know the difference so you could just say your watching what you eat and getting more exercise. End of subject....NEXT! So maybe this guy means no harm and it was a clumsy compliment, if he persists, ask him to respect your privacy (some dummies need to be told). Just my two bits, hope it helps. BTW- (I hope it's OK to mention here)congrats on your efforts!

LipstickLady, when I read your post, my heart sank. It took me back to ten years ago, a few months after I had escaped a psych sh**head ex-husband. I was on a commuter train on my way to night classes and there were some rowdy pre-teen girls in the same car. They were argueing and calling each other B****, over and over again. I couldn't wait to get off that train. i understand that that is the way uncivilized people talk, but the reason it hit me so hard was because that is what my mean ol' rotten ex would call me when he was throwing something at me.

I got off that train and walked about six blocks to class, all the while those harsh words were festering in my head. When I got there, I was welling up in tears and had to find an unoccupied classroom where I could just hide in a corner an cry it out. After composing myself, I went on to class, and wouldn't you know it, two classmates (adults - grown working adults) were into a war of words, calling each other b****. I stayed long enough for attendance and left because I was so undone by their cruel words to each other.

I think, Lipstick Lady, that maybe those sore spots just never go completely away. It would be nice if you could educate that individual, but who knows. I love men, but they are hard to train.

my sister who I barely talk to does this to me all the time in front of people I don't know.and believe me its not like shes complimenting me and telling me I look great either.its always yelling acoss the way from me"how much weight did you lose"?or what are you going to do about loose skin?i really cannot stand her and shes the only one who says it.