So the other night I was totally thrown for a loop and for the first time in a long time, I was actually rendered speechless. I was at a parent dinner meet and greet for a new sport my youngest is part of. I knew only 3 or 4 people (out of about 40) as this is my daughter's first year on the team.

I have known the woman who organized it (as well as her husband) forever. Her husband has always been very friendly with me, but we rarely see each other because they are both the most boring people on earth. Nice enough, but not people I want to hang around.

The husband came over to me and in front of about 15 people I've never seen in my life said, "Hey! How are you? And where is the rest of you?". Truly oblivious, I assumed he was asking about my husband as there were MANY dads there and I said that he was still at work. I've not been fat for over a year and a half and NO ONE mentions it anymore. People I've never met would have no idea I was ever fat.

He goes on to say, "Well, you've lost at least 100 or more pounds, right? I mean, you've lost at least half of yourself. Where did it go?" Immediately all eyes were on me and I had no idea what to say. (Weird, I know. I ALWAYS have something snarky to say. Long day, I guess.)

What a freaking beast. It was completely uncomfortable and awkward for me and I could tell a few of the ladies around me could feel it. Someone tried to make a joke that she "found it" and a few people f***ng congratulated me on something they know NOTHING about. I've left my fat life behind, how could this one jackhole completely throw me back into that world with a few sentences? One of my biggest reasons for losing the weight and my only real insecurity about being obese was how much I hated being "the fat mom" at every event. Leaving that world behind has been the best part of this whole experience and he brought it all slamming right back into the present.

I'm still pissed. I am going to see him endlessly throughout the summer and the season. I want to kick him in the nuts really bad. ARGH!!!

@@LipstickLady

Well, that's about as nice as saying to a fella "Hey, I see the forehead is growing a little", regardless of whether it is or not. The point remains the same.

And SOMETIMES, things like that need to be said for the point to be taken. Kinda like the forest for the trees...

What IS important is your CONFIDENCE in yourself...don't let things that are said or done EVER affect it, you have fought long and hard in this battle. Victory IS yours....

I have a casual acquaintance who, every single damn time she sees me says "OMG!!! I didn't recognize you! You're sooo thin?! How did this happen!??! You need to gain a few pounds...here do you want mine??" She is so obnoxious.

Pre-Op, I was once asked when my baby was due. She was already 2 years old.

Meh. Both situations are embarrasing. Some people have no couth.

I hate making excuses for passive-aggressive people who do nasty digs in ways that everyone excuses them for as just being awkward. He was being an ass - stop pretending he's just a clueless guy. Clueless guys would have included a "you look great/good job" type comment in with the rest of that nonsense and inappropriate sharing and tone TOTALLY matters. He knew what he was doing. And I don't blame his wife either. He's perfectly capable of being an asshole all on his own. I mean she may or may not be awful but it's not fair to blame her for this one as he said it and being a grown man is responsible for his own behavior whether she said anything or not.

I think maybe boring is not the only reason you're not friends with them. Well done for not making a scene for your kid... I hope you have the opportunity to destroy him in he future.

(I may possibly be burnt out on people's reaction to my surgery just at this moment...)

He's a narcissist. I know the type. It was his way of being the center of attention because he had info nobody else did. Complete d**k. There is no reason to excuse it or second guess it.

i was at a retirement party for an SVP. a lot of big wigs were there. while on the line for dinner, a former manager, who never really spoke to me when i worked for him, asked me in front of someone and whoever else was in earshot range "Jennifer you've lost weight! what did you do?!" i simply smiled a huge smile and said "I had surgery!", turned back around and laughed inside at the look of shock on his face. PRICELESS! i loved every minute of it. what a prick! HA! im laughing right now...i swear the look on his face was everything.

Edited July 2, 201511 yr by qnz234

Some men don't have filters and can be huge jerks but just remember your not that person anymore your a better you and wether it's family or friend you just have to remind them that.. Sometimes comment like that really hurt but if the person that said it has never experienced what you've gone through they will never know unless you tell them I will be praying for you and especially the jerk God Bless You????

Ugghh! What a moron! Sorry you had to go through that. Since you'll be seeing him repeatedly, if he brings it up again, use my favorite response that I have heard here on Bariatricpal... "I'm tired of talking about my body. Let's pick yours apart for awhile. Where should we start?" And then just look him up and down real seriously like your trying to find a place to begin. haha! That should shut up his foolish mouth.

I am between lap band removal and sleeve and I've twice now been asked if I am pregnant....ugh. morons everywhere. I gained between but how rude...

I am not having this surgery because I'm tired of negative attention. I'm having it to improve my health, period. I do not have self-confidence issues. I know I am beautiful, smart, successful, and sexy.

Unpopular opinion here. But we get this surgury because we're tired of the negative attention we get. We get it to feel good about ourselves and to gain confidence back....and then we complain when people notice it?

Our HR department did sexual harassment training several years ago and they said that you should never, EVER, ask anyone about their weight, particularly women. It can result in a sexual harassment claim. Less than a week later, an idiot VP introduced an administrative assistant in a staff meeting with 100+ people as the "incredible shrinking woman." You should have seen the shocked looks on the women in the room.