Hello all my fellow sleevers! I'm 5 months into my nutritional visits so I have 1 more before I get to submit to insurace for approval. Iv been having second thoughts about the surgery and its giving me so much anxiety I can barely sleep at night. My life is great.. To a point. I have amazing friends and we love to go out and party quite often. There's only one thing.. I miss out on so much because I hate my body. Its kills my self esteem every time I'm out and I can't even get a guys head to turn because I'm constantly surrounded by my beautiful tiny friends. I want to lose the weight, I want to be happy but I just wonder, how am I going to be happy if I loose the weight and can't go out and have fun? And please don't judge me when I say this, but I'm 21 and "going out and having fun" always includes drinking. I mean I know I'm going to have to stay away from alcohol for a good 3 months after and my tolerance is going to be a lot lower but has anyone been able to maintain a party life with healthy vsg foods and proper exercise? And I know alcohol is extra calories but I really could use some insite from someone my age who understands the struggles I'm having. PLEASE comment!! Is there anyone out there who's like me?!

Listen. I just had my surgery on Monday. Trust me when say drinking is a big problem for me. Just think about the long term and not the short term. You WILL be as to drink again you just have to wait. I'm in my early 30's, I don't party like I did when I was 21 because my fun is more sitting at the bar/house/porch/ backyard drinking! Just think about how much FUN you will have 6 months from now. Or next summer when you can be on someone's island in a thong bikini(my goal) lol.

Monday 6/8 before surgery i was 5,2 225 today 6/12 I am 211. #youCanDoIt

Almost a year out and I still go out. At least 3-4 times a week. I have a half a glass of wine or a half glass of vodka. Don't get me wrong I order a drink. I just can't finish it without feeling massively drunk as a skunk.

Nobody cares. The supportive friends are my friends the ones who didn't understand or only wanted to socialize a certain way we're left behind.

I am now almost 45 and honestly you're 21. You will go trough so many phases in life. Friends will come and go as we change and they also change. Open yourself up to allowing me for this now and don't be hurt by it. It's ok. When I was young the perceived loss of a friendship was devastating but looking back I never lost the friend we just had ebbs and flows of our diff needs and making room for others in our lives.

Open yourself to the new experience as part of your journey

The 6 months of education is a good thing prior to surgery because it gives you the opportunity to think long and hard about if this is something you want to do. I am 2 mos post op and my biggest challenge was the cigarette smoking, and my trigger was going out, just like yourself and that was when I did the most smoking. I too have a smaller friend and she would get all the head rolls, and although I'm not an ugly person, my weight had a lot to do with it. Even if you change your mind and not have the surgery because you're young and want to party, you're truly never going to be happy, because you sound like you aren't now. That's probably why you really drink to numb the pain that you feel when you're being ignored when you go out with your tiny friends. I only have one regret and that is that I wish I had done this sooner. I'm about to turn 37 and really allowed my weight to get out of control. I believe that you will do what's best for you, and sometimes that means making sacrifices, and it'll all be worth it. Best of luck!

Just to add to all the other wonderful advice here. I do drink occasionally, but it is instead of and not in addition to appetizers. Since you can't eat and drink at the same time, you need to space out your food and drink and will naturally consume fewer calories. I now only drink Bloody Mary which at least has tomato juice which is healthy and red wine, which is also good for you. I find I can only have one and I make it last a long time. Occasionally I will have 2, but since the operation it affects me a lot more. Believe me, it is worth it!

It's tough being 21 and making lifelong choices like those associated with WLS.

Surgery yea or nay is going to have to be YOUR decision. Nobody else's.

But eventually you'll have to deal with weighing 250 pounds (or most likely 300 pounds in a few years).

Have you ever been successful losing the weight through diet and exercise? Ultimately, that's what is involved post-op. The sleeve itself doesn't magically make you skinny. And it sure won't keep you skinny if you don't educate yourself about eating differently than you have up to now and become much more active than you are at the moment.

Becoming healthy requires you to care for yourself well. Self-care, it's called. And almost all obese people do a terrible job at caring for themselves. Why we don't excel at this varies from person to person.

Do you know why you don't care for yourself very well? If not, I urge you to try and learn more about that as part of your path to healthy living.

Very, very best to you.

Do this when you are ready to do this right.

The real "party" is the fun time you'll be having in your own head after surgery. Right now, it may seem like its about the alcohol, but you are also self-conscious, comparing yourself to your friends, and feeling insecure around the guys. After you get some weight off and are feeling more confident and beautiful, the focus isn't going to be on the alcohol any more. Trust me on this! You'll be dancing, laughing, meeting cute guys, and having fun with your friends. And guess what, you can do all that without getting drunk. The thing is, you can have a drink or two after surgery. But, before you do go under the knife you might want to talk with a counselor or someone. If having drinks is seriously a factor in your decision, it may not be the right time for you.

I think Debbieduck4 is correct. You should talk to a councilor about your concerns. My advice is don't choose alcohol over your health.

Best of luck to you on your journey.

Hello all my fellow sleevers! I'm 5 months into my nutritional visits so I have 1 more before I get to submit to insurace for approval. Iv been having second thoughts about the surgery and its giving me so much anxiety I can barely sleep at night. My life is great.. To a point. I have amazing friends and we love to go out and party quite often. There's only one thing.. I miss out on so much because I hate my body. Its kills my self esteem every time I'm out and I can't even get a guys head to turn because I'm constantly surrounded by my beautiful tiny friends. I want to lose the weight, I want to be happy but I just wonder, how am I going to be happy if I loose the weight and can't go out and have fun? And please don't judge me when I say this, but I'm 21 and "going out and having fun" always includes drinking. I mean I know I'm going to have to stay away from alcohol for a good 3 months after and my tolerance is going to be a lot lower but has anyone been able to maintain a party life with healthy vsg foods and proper exercise? And I know alcohol is extra calories but I really could use some insite from someone my age who understands the struggles I'm having. PLEASE comment!! Is there anyone out there who's like me?!

Your post really got me in my feelings. I'm 27 and i know that's only a 6-year difference but the things i would do to go back to 21 and have wls then. I spend nights crying and thinking about it. The amount of things i have lost in 6 years because of my weight, it has taken my old friends, career and life opportunities. It hurts me to think about it. From 16 -21, I was pretty sociable but as the weight started creeping on, I wasn't even bothered about partying or alcohol, I started to fear going out to the shops never mind a bar or club.

Regardless of whether my WLS outcome is successful or whether I am fortunate enough to get plastics, i'm always going have deal with mental and physical scars of being fat for so long, you have chance to nip it in the bud and spend the rest of your twenties being happy, healthy and still having experienced your fair share of alcohol and parties.

You might find you have more of a social life without drinking after surgery! After getting healthier your self esteem should improve and with time your confidence-- you can dance and go to clubs without getting smashed or drinking at all. You can meet guys without being drunk too! ???? you can also offer to be the DD so you have a reason to stay sober, have fun with friends and help your group stay safe!

No judgement here because I had quite a "party stage" in my mid- twenties. You won't want to do that for ever tho- it does get old- I promise! ????

I think it is great you are working to improve your health now instead of in ten years (like me!) are you still drinking now during you 6 months? Maybe try going out with less drinks or none now?

My surgeon did make a big point of being careful with alcohol after surgery because it is more likely you will become dependent on it-- alcoholism runs in my family so I stopped complete at the start of this six months-- (2 left for me) I had a drink maybe once a month before--

Good luck whatever you decide!

I'll be the blunt one here and say this, Rather than be the designated fat friend in the group, be the hot healthy one for a change. trust me. the world becomes a different place when youre not that person.

Dont let something like getting drunk interfere with living an awesome life.