Hi everyone. I am a single female and live alone so was not telling anyone I am doing this because I wanted to avoid comments and opinions and just all of the questions. As the months have passed, I realize I am lonely because this is the biggest focus in my life at the moment and I can't share it with anyone I know. SO, I decided to tell my friend I've known my entire life (lives in diff state) and all I can say is OMG! This was a text convo, not out loud. So, she went on and on which was like,

"Bindy, do you know what you are doing to your body? You can't come back from this. You have lost weight before and you can do it again the healthy way. I personally know 3 people that have had bariatric surgery they all regret it and two are heavier than they were before. Don't let a doctor talk you into this. They make is sound good to people because they are getting rich off of it. This has become a trendy surgery and you just wait until they find out long term what it really does to you. They want you to do a liquid diet for two weeks. Do you even understand what that is doing to your kidneys or your pancreas? You are smarter than this. I love you, THINK!"

Well, I just never responded at all. Part of me wanted to disagree or explain or educate, but all I could do was wish I had never said a word.

I feel like .. ugh.

I didn't want to go on this journey alone, the isolation of hiding it away with people I know was getting me really down, but now I know I can't tell another soul. She is the one person, if any, in my life that would embrace me and be kind.

_{ONLY MY FIANCE AND DR KNOW ABOUT MY SURGERY AND THAT IS ONE OF THE REASONS WHY. I AM VERY FREE TO TALK ABOUT IT ALL TO MY FIANCE SO I DON'T REALLY FEEL ALONE IN THIS. ITS PERSONAL TO ME, I LIKE IT JUST BEING OUR BUSINESS AND NOONE ELSE'S.}

Pre-op, after making my decision to have WLS and feeling fully supported by my husband, I took a long, hard look at my extended family and my best friends and understood clearly that none of them was capable of (1) understanding my situation or (2) understanding as much about WLS as I knew or (3) accepting WLS as a legitimate, smart, modern way to treat my illness.

Most of them are normal-sized or slim or athletic and have never struggled with weight like any of us ever have. Many of them are stylish, sophisticated professionals. Oddly, I've seldom felt judged by them for being heavier than them (I have some other lovely and impressive qualities that they admire). However, over the years their comments in my presence about other heavy people have staggered me. I've learned that many of them believe people like us are undisciplined, uneducated, lazy cowards.

But somehow, they don't think of me "that way." Yeah, totally weird.

So knowing them as I do, I knew they couldn't possibly support me on this journey. So I didn't even invite them into my confidence.

I don't love them any less. I just knew this wouldn't be a concept they would ever get behind.

I am so glad I have not brought them into my confidence.

So funny. I had the same experience as a morbidly obese woman with my friends and colleagues! I could not understand how that was (we are health care professionals) but they just didn't put me in that same bucket. Must have also been my other lovely and impressive qualities that blind-sided them