Do you miss anything about being fat?

[aSleeveStory 128]

Anyway, I have been at goal for a few years and feel pretty comfortable in my body these days. My advice to all that worry about "being noticed" - pay attention to this emotion but realize that it will pass and that extreme sense of being watched, stared at etc will go away.

I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you when you were younger. Not sorry to see that you're doing great now! I love your attitude and outlook towards things, and think your advice is dead-on.

Congrats on two years of maintenance. That's inspiring!

[Hoginona04 61]

I have to agree about the warmth. I didnt realize how much insulation I was carrying around with me. I swear my hands have been cold since I woke up after the surgery.

[living55 98]

I loved reading all the "positive" comments on here. I realized that I used/use my weight as a shield, protection from men from issues from my past as well. I got attention at any size and it felt/feels weird and the thought of that doubling is scary. That being said, I am working and will continue to work on feeling protected and safe with my smaller self journey. "I can do all things through Christ which strengtheneth me."

Philippians 4:13

[jess9395 5,448]

A lot of folks here have talked about the invisibility factor... I hadn't though of it much before now. I'm sixteen years married this month, so I guess my mind just didn't go there.

Congrats on your recent surgery! Looks like you're on your way!

I'm 20 yrs married this year and it doesn't matter I still get the attention. And it isn't only male/flirty/sexual attention... It's the salespeople in stores approaching me... The eye contact from cashiers... Other runners smiling and waving... Other people in waiting rooms striking up conversations...It's like I've rejoined the human race. I didn't notice how invisible/overlooked I was till I wasn't.

[alittlejoy 26]

I do think this is a serious topic. Even if you don't enjoy being fat, if you did things to get fat or stay fat, then it was doing something for you, even if that wasn't something healthy. I know I'm going to have trouble with feeling more visible. I already hate that I currently feel both highly visible because I'm big but also invisible because a lot of people choose not to see me. It's frustrating!

It's important to look at why you do things while in the process of changing one's behavior. I don't enjoy being fat and I'm doing whatever I can to change it but that doesn't mean it hasn't benefitted me in some way.

[tomi71 581]

I second the statements about being warm. I do miss that. I am always freezing.

[purrfctangel 239]

@@CowgirlJane Hugs! You have proven yourself stronger than the things in life that have tried to beat you down. Thank you for your courage to share.

[onmywaytobeingfound 163]

I'm only 6 weeks post op, but don't think I'll ever miss anything about being obese. I'm already loving how my body is shrinking all over and the over all differences. I think I have regrets though as far as my pre op diet. I wish I would've enjoyed 1 more soda before surgery, or ate an extra sugar cookie I made with my girls at Christmas. It's kinda silly I guess, but that's how I feel. I was very strict pre op, for good reason, but thinking back that's what I think of.

[KristenVSG2014 1,871]

I agree with those who miss being invisible. I've been overweight my entire life so my goal was always to blend in and never stand out in any way. If I stand out, people will notice my size and judge and critique me, at least that's how I always felt. I was so accustomed, and comfortable, being invisible that now I'm having a hard time adjusting to everyone noticing and commenting on my weight loss.

Before surgery I would think people noticing and complimenting me on my weight loss would make me happy. I used to dream about it! Instead I feel vulnerable. When people comment on my weight, even though it's in a positive light, it makes me want to run and hide. Perhaps it's because my mind still has not caught up with my body. Honestly, I can't wait to hit my goal weight and the novelty to wear off so people stop talking about my weight.

Then again, I'll still have to deal with all these complete strangers suddenly being nice and holding doors open for me, semi drivers honking, etc. I even had a guy hanging out a car hollering and whistling. I have never had to deal with attention from men...

[AgentShepard 88]

It's easy to laugh this question off, but I agree that it's an important one. I have been "the fat one" since I was about six. It is a fundamental part of my self-image. It was very difficult for me to decide to have the surgery because of this. I told my therapist that I felt like a character in a myth who sacrificed a part of their body to gain some gift - like Odin, sacrificing his eye for wisdom. So far I think the sacrifice has been worth it, but make no mistake that it WAS a sacrifice.

I am still very fat, even if less so than before, as I'm only 4 months out. But so far I miss the days when I was usually over-warm! My hands and feet are always cold.

One of the reasons I'm keeping up with therapy is because I anticipate that once I lose enough weight that I am "normal size" it will be a difficult adjustment to make. For one example: in my entire adult life I've never had more than about five places where I could buy clothes. It's exciting to think about being able to buy clothes ANYWHERE, but also really overwhelming. I will have to re-learn how to dress myself. That doesn't mean I'm sorry to have had the surgery, but it's a real issue I struggle with, and I think it's important for us to discuss these parts of the journey as well as the more fun ones.

[imsoglad56 402]

I lost weight one before and kept it off for about two years. I know what I missed about being fat then, and I imagine once I'm thinner I'll miss it again. The fat is a handy crutch or excuse for pretty much anything you need. You didn't get the job you wanted? Meh, they probably just don't like fat people. Or maybe you use it to justify NOT doing something. Why should I bother setting up a profile on that dating website, no one will be interested in my fat ass.

Being a healthy weight will require me to get to know myself more because I won't have the fat to blame for my shortcomings.

[Garifab_VSG 122]

I never once laughed at the title of this thread.

I'm still pre-op, but I think about this often, since now that I have a date scheduled, I've made it my goal to think about any and every aspect of the changes that are about to come.

There is one thing I will greatly miss about being fat.

I'm an extremely extroverted, friendly, open and affectionate person. I'm 39 now, but 15 years ago, when I was not obese, I had to scale down my personality A LOT because too many men (and a woman or two) took my personality the wrong way. This sounds conceited, but it is not meant to be ... but I got tired of being mistaken for flirting with someone, or giving off the impression I was "interested" because I was very friendly and welcoming to all. As a fat person, I very rarely have to worry about someone thinking anything of my personality except that I am a nice person. I've been very free to display my real self with my fat to protect me from people developing any type of feelings for me other than friendly ones.

I've been thinking about that a lot. Granted, now I am married whereas I was not 15 years ago, so my hope is that is enough to deflect anyone from thinking I'm looking for something that I'm not.

But on the funny side, I will miss being warm, too LOL! And using my belly to hold the iPad while I binge-watch Sons of Anarchy, Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead, and so on and so on

Edited February 13, 2015 by Garifab_VSG

[SimplySam2015 0]

I don't know if I will miss anything specifically about being fat, but I worry that I won't feel like "me" anymore. Does that make any sense? My size has always been a part of my identity. It's how I've seen myself and how others have seen me and I worry that I may feel like I've lost a piece of who I've identified as for my entire life.

I lost 90 lbs in 8 weeks, my first ten weeks and the very last week I got so depressed. These last two weeks have been an eye opener. I havnt gained or lost much but I realized that I wanted to loose weight. Yes I felt a loss at first, a loss of identity. I had a dreadful sense of what may or may not come. I felt misplaced and desperate for some control over this sudden change. I ate things shouldn't, I believe to try to get a better grip of my old self. I realize I must reinvent myself and you know thats not a bad thing.

[reallyrosy 161]

Yee. Being fat was an automatic excuse for not being responsible for my life. I miss having the excusr and miss being excusably irresponsible.