On the day of my surgery, January 14th, 2013, I was morbidly obese with a BMI over 50. I was suffering from horrific knee pain and was seriously looking at spending my life in a wheelchair. I couldn’t walk more than a block without having to sit and rest. I couldn’t do the simplest of things like put on socks, or pick up my legs to shave them in the shower. I knew I was probably done traveling. I had just been on a cruise where I couldn’t get off the ship because of the pain I was in. I was wearing 4X tops and 26/28 slacks. I knew I was going to have to buy clothes online soon because I was growing out of these sizes and even places like Avenue didn’t carry sizes much bigger. The larger I got, the more invisible I felt. I worried about being able to move in spaces that were no longer big enough for me. I made sure to get to the conference room at work before anyone else so I didn’t have to bring unwarranted attention to myself by forcing my colleagues to squeeze in just so I could pass them if I couldn’t get a seat near the door. I worried about restaurants with tight seating…airplanes with narrow seats and the looks from whoever was stuck sitting next to me. Oh God…just thinking about this even now makes me so very sad and hurt because the list of painful and embarrasing situations is a long one.
That, however, was before my surgery. Today is my two year bandiversary and during those two years, I have lost around 150 lbs. That’s an amazing amount of excess weight to carry around on a very small frame. No wonder I was so uncomfortable. Today, I feel light as a feather. I can move normally again. As many of you know, I needed my hips replaced even before dealing with my knees. Turns out that my knees are fairly stable now as there is no excess weight to put unnecessary pressure on the joints. I can do all those things healthy people take for granted. I can walk anywhere and everywhere, I can cross my legs like a woman should be able to do, I can go up and down stairs…..hell, I can open my legs again and feel that marvelous weight of a man on top of me (sorry if that’s TMI but we're all adults here and sex is an important part of life that I thought was also in my past) Most of all…I fit in the world again and because I fit, the world has opened back up to me.
After 20+ years, I'm wearing petites again. I'm in small sized tops and size 6 slacks. My legs aren't tree trunks anymore and I'm wearing dresses. And just an FYI for you ladies…If you want to attract a man, wear a dress. Works like a charm.. 
I love to clothes shop again. In these small sizes, the clothes are cute and pretty and I don't buy anything anymore just because it fits.
I love to clothes shop again. In these small sizes, the clothes are cute and pretty and I don't buy anything anymore just because it fits.I wear makeup again. My hair is styled attractively. I match the jewelry/bag/shoes to the outfits. Like I said above, I am very much aware now that people notice me. What an amazing transformation that is. To know that people see you again is such a powerful feeling….especially when you've felt invisible for so long.
I’m traveling again. In fact, I’m planning a trip to China or now possibly a Nordic cruise to Finland and Norway sometime later this year. I hope to go on one big trip every year. There are so many places I didn't think I'd ever get to and now I need to make up for lost time and go wherever my heart desires.
My grandson is due in April. I’ll be able to play with this one. My granddaughter missed out on a lot because I couldn’t keep up with her. She and I did a lot of arts and crafts, and reading books together or watching TV. I’m sure she didn’t feel like she missed anything but I know she did and this time around, Grandma is planning on climbing the monkey bars with this little guy when he gets old enough.
One last thing I wanted to put out there. I must thank Alex for creating this site. It has been my salvation. The people here were and are, instrumental in my success. I have said things in my posts that no one outside of this place can truly understand and for that I am so very grateful. I am also blessed to call many of the folks on this site good friends of mine and I can’t wait to meet some of you face to face so I can give you a big hug.
Here’s how I feel today..and most days in fact….I’m a person with two birthdays now. One in August of 1958 when I was born, and one in January of 2013 when I was re-born.
For anyone reading this post, congrats if you have also found success in your weight loss journey and to those struggling, or who are pre-op and full of doubts and worries, know that a new life is possible for each and every one of you. I'm not special so if I could do this, so can you...no matter what your co-morbidities, starting BMI, or any other challenges you are facing.
Here's a couple of before/after pics so you can see what 150 lbs. gone looks like. The ticker is just data but a picture is worth a thousand words as they say.
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