Ok all, I finally broke down and told my mother about my surgery. When I told her she actually said, "you don't have to do that, just keep the food out of your mouth" :straight ...I was speechless, I just sat there with this blank expression on my face. Now, my mother is the sweetest person in the world, however she is a bit old fashioned. I tried to explain to her how it works, and how it will help me lose weight and keep it off. She still insists that diet and exercise will do it. Well let me tell you, I've dieted and exercised my way up to being 100lbs overweight. She finally gave up with an "if you insist" type attitude. I absolutely give up explaining this thing to people, I'm so frustrated.:eek:

I am gobsmacked! I thought knoledge was power but I guess there are cases where it doesn't apply! Keep going you all, we will be happy in the end! (67lbs down and sooooo happy already!)

Felicia,

That is sad that you can't get the support from you mom...I would just not dicuss anything about the surgery with her...Just know that you have lots of friends here at LBT, that will stand with you....and don't try to explain the surgery to anyone that you think will be negative...Only your opinion of the surgery counts...good luck....

((HUGS))

And that is exactly why I will not be telling my mom about this surgery! Some people just don't understand. I honestly believe my mom thinks I like being fat. She wont say anything to me but if we are out and see a large person she will be the first one to snicker. I just don't get how she could be so careless.

My Mom has always been very much like some of yours, judgemental and "Just make up your mind to do it", all while being somewhere in the neighborhood of 80 pds overweight. Admittedly, I'm twice that, but still... consistancy? Not so much. I went to visit my folks last weekend, it's a long weekend, my grandmother is in the hospital, just a good time to go. I had ABSOLUTELY no intention of telling her. But over breakfast, she mentioned she was just diagnosed as diabetic, and was having a hard time dealing with it. She urged me to do something about my weight before I was diagnosed, since my dad has been diabetic for about 5 yrs. Before I could shut myself up, it was out " well, you know, there is this procedure that's been approved about 10 yrs by the FDA, been in use in Europe about 30, and unlike the old wt loss surgeries, where they slice and dice your digestive system, then put it back together in the wrong order..." She was whole heartedly supportive. I almost checked her handstrength to make sure she hadn't had a stroke! She said SHE was leading up to telling ME about Lap Band! My aunt, her sister, has a good friend who lost over 100 pounds in the last 2 yrs, and she wanted to see if I might be interested. She's already making plans to come help after the surgery, and I'm only 2 months into the 6 month diet.

BTW, my sister has always been the most supportive person possible, ever, whenever I had problems trying to loose wt, or wanted to try something new, and the day she went in the hospital to have twins, she weighed less than I have to loose! Gotta love a skinny person who doesn't make you feel fat, and has commented she wishes she was half as beautiful as me, all while being 5'11" 145, and a perfect size 10, with perky boobs, even after nursing twins. She didn't even get streatch marks :thumbup:

My mom didn't say much until she did her own research on it. Now she is totally onboard.

My grandfather, on the other hand, said "Well, someone just needs to tie you up so you will stop eating." Flat broke my heart. I cried and cried after he left the room. My grandma, who has never been overly nurturing came over, hugged me, and told me to just forget about what my grandpa said. That made me feel better but I was still pretty upset for a while.

Some people just don't understand it because they have never battled and I mean LITERALLY battled their weight.

if it wasn't for my mom i wouldnt be getting this surgery. She found out they were getting it locally and helped me find out info on the doc etc. I had already found a bunch of info online for traveling to someplace but thanks to her I'm getting it done close to home and she is with me 100% she takes me to all my appts. And while I am on the diet, she is eating good too to help me along.

I did have several 'friends' who said why don't you actually TRY yourself to lose weight. Some people just don't think about what they are saying at all. Or they don't have much of a brain or common sense.

Edited May 30, 200818 yr by froggi1985
typos :)

Over the years I have learned from experienced to be careful when sharing your struggles, successes and heartbreaks. I think to have a full life we all need to have a small group of people that we can share anything with and know we will still be loved and accepted by. However, we also know who those people are who will judge, condemn and express their opinions to us because "they care".

When I decided to have the lap-band surgery, I knew that I didn't want it to be the central thing about by life or who I am. I knew that there would be people who would always be asking me how it was going, want to know how much I lost, and just focus on that area of my life. I decided to keep my decision private and have only shared with a very few close friends, and of course my husband.

The only problem I've had is feeling a little guilty when people ask me what I am doing to lose the weight. I've said "eating less", "eating better", "exercising more", all which are true. But I feel like I'm lying!

I am happy that I've kept the information to a limited amount of people, but I have slipped and told one person that I now regret. I am way too honest, and I do feel bad that I am no longer an open book. I also know that it is the healthiest way for me to do it. We all have to decide if this will be a public or private decision, but count the costs if you decide to tell everyone!

By the way, I was banded almost six months ago, I've lost about 50 lbs and have 25 more to go. I feel great!

you know what struck me the most? how lucky she is that she can't relate...that she can't imagine why you just can't stop eating when you want to. i think a lot of people are like that, and frankly, i envy them.

but lots of us understand, especially here...and we support you!

Wow I thought I was the only one with such a negative mother. Currently we arent speaking so that will make my decision and surgery so much easier. I honestly think that some people are jealous when we choose change our lives for the better.

Deb

My parents actually brought up the idea of the lap-band, so they will support me 100% becuase they have seen my struggles with dieting. They know that "just don't eat it" is not the answer for everyone. I am truly lucky for that.

I have a feeling that some of my friends may think that i am taking the "easy way out". From all the research i've done, i can say that the lap-band procedure and all of the accompanying lifestyle changes are FAR FROM EASY.

So i have decided that whoever doesnt agree with my choice or support me can suck it, they arent a true friend at that point. Lots of folks think it's an easy way to get skinny, but for most of we are just trying to live HEALTHY, not skinny.

I have my Seminar scheduled for Aug of 2008 and will begin the pre-op planning phase.

Reading about all of you guys telling your mothers has brought up so many feelings. But, I am not afraid of them.

Because of my mother's 23 years of addictive smoking, in Dec of 2007, we were told that she had cancer of the lung that had been growing for at least 10 years. She died on Jan 11. It was a shock and is still so hard to bare. But I know she didn't suffer as so many do.

She knew my addiction was going to kill me and two days before she passed, she wanted to make me a deal that if I lost weight, she would stay around. She talked so much about my weight and I always felt that I was a disappointment to her because of it. I never realized all the food and weight issues she had until she was happy when she lost weight even though it was because she was very ill.

It was right after I lost her that I decided to look into the Lapband and I am scheduled for July 7th to have the surgery. I know she would not have understood about the surgery and would have said, as she always did, that I could do it by just closing my mouth and not eating. Maybe, I would not have told her until after but the one thing that I wish is that I could tell her.

So cherish your moms, whether or not you chose to tell them. I know that I will be healthy with the help of this surgery and that is all our moms really want for us. Thanks for listening.