Ok all, I finally broke down and told my mother about my surgery. When I told her she actually said, "you don't have to do that, just keep the food out of your mouth" :straight ...I was speechless, I just sat there with this blank expression on my face. Now, my mother is the sweetest person in the world, however she is a bit old fashioned. I tried to explain to her how it works, and how it will help me lose weight and keep it off. She still insists that diet and exercise will do it. Well let me tell you, I've dieted and exercised my way up to being 100lbs overweight. She finally gave up with an "if you insist" type attitude. I absolutely give up explaining this thing to people, I'm so frustrated.:eek:

Felicia,

I too, have negative people in my family who always have something to say about my weight or whatever diet ventures I decide to go on. My mother is no longer living, but I have an aunt who is just like my mother and I knew she would not agree with my decision, cause everytime I would try a new diet pill,or say I am going to try something new she would always say all you need to do it just push away from the table!! DUH!!! Like if it was that easy, I would've been thin a long time ago!! So I didn't tell her till after my surgery, cause I didn't want the negativity to affect my decision. My husband, my children, my father & my friends all supported me and that was all the support I needed, I left the negativity out of the equation. So if you have other family members or friends who are in support of your decision, those are the people you need to talk to for encouragement & support.

Remember, only you know what is the best decision for you and your body!!!

I refuse to be offended by this type of attitude, if you dont suffer from it then you cant understand it and its as simple as that. For many people if they find they gain a bit of weight over time, they quit eating so much and they lose it, end of story. Its not that simple for others, that's the difference.

But I cant understand not being able to say no to a drink for example, or why people cant just get off their lazy butts and go out and exercise (barring injury and infirmity of course). Same thing.

I too heard negative comments. Now I am having the last laugh .

edie

I am sorry your mom is not offering you the kind of support you would like. All you can do is hold your head up high and be proud of the decision YOU have made for YOUR health. If others cant support that or dont agree with it too bad. You are the one who will live with your decisions not anyone else.

Congratts and good luck!

My mother has the same mentality as yours! In fact, I haven't even told her about my scheduled surgery (6 hours from now!)

I don't think I can handle her negativity when I am SO positive about the life change I am about to make!

Just hang in there...you have to do what is best for YOU!! :eek:

that is the reason only selected few know about my surgery. It is a personal choice, and we cant live through them. My mom was always heavy, until she got into her 60's and now she is the EXPERT on weight loss, and has no problem telling you about how unhealthy and awful you look

My husband and direct family made the choice to keep it private....and I am happy I did....

I do wish I could of called her and told her I was approved.......but....when she sees for herself how good I am doing maybe she will just be happy!!!!

WE can ONLY HOPE:phanvan

It is so sad that people just don't get how hard it is too lose weight. It is no easier for us than it is for someone to quit smoking or stop drinking. If it was, we wouldn't be fat! I am sorry you are not getting the support you need from your mother. Maybe once you have the surgery and she starts seeing you looking and feeling better, she will change her attitude a bit. Good look to you.

I told everybody about my surgery and was very upfront about it. Some people do look at you like you have gone mad, others are just really reproaching your decision. However within a couple of months of the op when the weight is dropping they all act like it was their idea in the first place. So don't get discouraged, just hang in there. They will all change their minds when they see how well you are doing and how happy you are becoming!

I too heard negative comments. Now I am having the last laugh .

edie

You go girl!!!! Isn't it funny...we upset people, that supposedly love us, by being overweight...we upset them when we do something about it...ya just can't win...UNTIL, like Edie, we get the last laugh!!!!!!

That is so well put musicalmomma, it puts in word what I have always felt! Why can't people just love us for us!

Stay strong! My mom was totally against it.. I was too when my sister decided to have it done.. That was only b/c I had not researched it.. I was comparing it to the Gastric. After my sister lost 102 lbs, i was appvd by my insurance. My mom was still against it.. Although, my mom had been overweight her entire life. When she went thru a divorce she became entirely stressed out and lost about 100lbs and has kept it off for 10 yrs.. But, there again she always would say, just stop eating--push away from the table, do some excercise-- My theory is this: If God wanted us all to be same, he would dished out the same metabolism for everyone.. So, if there's something medically that we can do about, ROCK ON! Everyone's right it's our decision, but the people that are so against it are indeed the people that love us the most, b/c they don't want anything to happen to us(as a result of the surgery) --infections and being sick.. that kind of stuff--

Obesity is a disease just like diabetes. Take your mom to your weight loss support group or informational meeting so she can learn more about the band.

My mom was initially upset, then was supportive after she went to the seminar with me. Eventually, though, my dad (who doesn't like it at all) got to her and she is not very happy with my decision now. She had the nerve to tell me to not have the surgery, but pretend I did, and lose weight that way. I was literally thinking "WTF? Are you that stupid?" Now, I just don't discuss it with her much. She's too negative and life's too short to stress myself out over her opinion. I mean, yes, it would be wonderful if she was happy for me, but it's not necessary. What's important is that I'm happy with my decision.

<p>Thanks you guys, at leat now I know that I'm not alone. I'll just have to do this for me and not worry about what everyone else thinks. and Laurend.... my word, I know it's not funny but I couldn't help but laugh at what your mother said about, pretend you had the surgery and lose weight that way... mothers... you gotta love em!!</p>

And this is exactly why my mother has no clue about my surgery!