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Congrats on your weigh in lindaa! :tt1: I'm sorry your vacation didn't go as you hoped. :tt1:

My weigh in is tomorrow. I'm not looking forward to it. I can feel myself more bloated than usual. Changing my diet to include more good fats is probably part of the problem, but I have other things going on as well. The increase in humidity has changed my allergies. I now have a rash from my perfume so have to stop using that. It's not because it's a new fragrance, the bottle was almost empty and I was about to buy more. My chest and inner forearms have lots of little red spots, similar to heat rash. My hair is still falling out, but I don't expect that to change overnight, only now it's gone curl crazy as well. :thumbup: I look like William Shatner in his bad perm days. :smile: Thank goodness I have an appointment this morning to fix that problem up.

I just feel fat today. It's not just in my head. My tummy is bloated and my feet are swelling at night. It's not Aunt Flo because I'm mid-cycle. I'm blaming the weather. :tt2:

I'm afraid to get on the scales. I'm afraid not to get on them. If I get on them and I've gained more than 3 lbs I'll be depressed. If I don't get on them I'll continue to live in denial and make more excuses for myself in order to excuse any weight gain. *sigh*

I know I've eaten more this week to try and get the good fats in. I need them. I know that. What's scarey is that I shouldn't be afraid to have gained 3+lbs. I know I shouldn't. But I will be. I'll be afraid it's the start of it all unraveling. I know I can't eat like I used to last year. It's just not physically possible. But I'm still afraid of gaining it all back one pound at a time.

I've been working really hard on my head health. It's been working well. Up until today I think. :tt2: It's not good for me to beat myself up. I stopped doing that. But today....... *sigh* I wish I could sleep through days like this and only wake up on the days that I have more energy than a 3 year old. :tt2:

I feel your pain. I truly, honestly do. I am going to be sad tomorrow when I don't get to step on the scale. I don't get my weighins any more. I am doing this on blind faith now...and it scares the crap right out of me.

I am glad that you are working on your head health. It is important...I am just figuring out how to do that myself. I have not started adding the fats in. I will next week when I make my menu. Once the menu is written...I don't chage it. Just my personality! So next week... I will add them in. I tried adding in nuts earlier, but they trigger cravings so I had to take them out. They are still sitting in my kitchen...but I don't think I dare touch them. Maybe I will try again next week.

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I feel your pain. I truly, honestly do.

Thanks Karri. It really does help to know I'm not alone. That's what keeps me around here. I need to change on the nuts as well. I've only been trying them out for 3 days now but I find I will graze on them. They set off my appetite. I try to drink instead, but the nuts call to me. :wub: So they've gone down the garbage disposal.

I picked up some Omega 3 Fish Oil capsules today, so fingers crossed that will help me out instead of increasing my food intake. Geez Louise at times I wish I had a different addiction to deal with rather than food. At least with alcohol or smoking you never touch them again. But with food you still have to eat. :sad:

I've been out most of the day. Went and got my hair colored. That took an hour and a half. It was nice and relaxing. Then I went looking for some shampoo/conditioner that my hairdresser recommended to try and get my growth started again. Then I went to lots of different clothing stores. I didn't buy any new clothes, I just get such a buzz out of trying on size 10s and having them fit. :lol: Some of them loosely. :w00t:

Being out and about stopped me from thinking too much about my weight. I'm SO tired of thinking "fat". I know I'm not fat. At least not as fat as I used to be. I'm overweight. I'm not always the fattest person in the room. I don't get stared at when I'm out. I don't feel like everyone's watching me when I order food. I can tie my shoes without passing out. I feel great when I exercise. I need to be grateful for these accomplishments because I worked hard for them. So why can't we lose fat girl thinking along with the weight? I need to invent a pill that will do that. :tt2: I'd be filthy rich if I did. :lol:

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Thanks Karri. It really does help to know I'm not alone. That's what keeps me around here. I need to change on the nuts as well. I've only been trying them out for 3 days now but I find I will graze on them. They set off my appetite. I try to drink instead, but the nuts call to me. :lol: So they've gone down the garbage disposal.

I picked up some Omega 3 Fish Oil capsules today, so fingers crossed that will help me out instead of increasing my food intake. Geez Louise at times I wish I had a different addiction to deal with rather than food. At least with alcohol or smoking you never touch them again. But with food you still have to eat. :sad:

I've been out most of the day. Went and got my hair colored. That took an hour and a half. It was nice and relaxing. Then I went looking for some shampoo/conditioner that my hairdresser recommended to try and get my growth started again. Then I went to lots of different clothing stores. I didn't buy any new clothes, I just get such a buzz out of trying on size 10s and having them fit. :lol: Some of them loosely. :w00t:

Being out and about stopped me from thinking too much about my weight. I'm SO tired of thinking "fat". I know I'm not fat. At least not as fat as I used to be. I'm overweight. I'm not always the fattest person in the room. I don't get stared at when I'm out. I don't feel like everyone's watching me when I order food. I can tie my shoes without passing out. I feel great when I exercise. I need to be grateful for these accomplishments because I worked hard for them. So why can't we lose fat girl thinking along with the weight? I need to invent a pill that will do that. :tt2: I'd be filthy rich if I did. :sad:

Nuts wreak havoc with my hunger. I was worried about taking the fish oil capsules and I don't think I could get the liquid down.

Did your hairdresser recommend Nioxin? Be careful with Rogaine. My PCP said NOT to use it.

Yeah the fat girl mentality is a bitch! I can finally look in the mirror and see myself as thin, but if I just sit here and think about myself...I still picture me as fat.

Hang in there. It has to get better...RIGHT?:wub:

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Nuts wreak havoc with my hunger. I was worried about taking the fish oil capsules and I don't think I could get the liquid down.

Did your hairdresser recommend Nioxin? Be careful with Rogaine. My PCP said NOT to use it.

Yeah the fat girl mentality is a bitch! I can finally look in the mirror and see myself as thin, but if I just sit here and think about myself...I still picture me as fat.

Hang in there. It has to get better...RIGHT?:wub:

I've been lucky with the fish oil capsules. It's strange how some things will go down easily enough, but others turn into bowling balls.

She did suggest Nioxin, so I'm starting on that tomorrow. To be honest I'll try just about anything right now. If someone said it would help to carry a banana in my pocket, I'd do it. :lol:

I look in the mirror and am not disgusted. That's as far as I've gotten at the moment. I don't see thin, but I don't see awful either. So that's a good thing. :w00t:

I know things will get better. I know things could have gotten worse for me before my surgery. I've been to dark places with fat that I won't let myself go to again. So yeah, things can and will get better. It just takes a lot of work and complaining about it. :tt2:

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I use Nioxin now. I wish I had been able to afford it the whole time, but alas...i couldn't. You really need to make sure you use it everyday.

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Ruby, Kari, You are definitely not alone in the distorted body image arena. I can relate to all the things you've said, and Kari, I read your blog and can identify with what you so elequently wrote. DD said something today about not being able to remember me being fat and I immediately wondered why she was baiting me. How could that be? I am fat! Then I realized that it was a complement. I feel like a fat person who is imposing as a thin person. Someday the disguise will fall away and I will once again be exposed for what I really am--a morbidly obese woman with no self esteem. How sad we are!

I was at the hairdresser's today as well. My hair is beginning to grow back. I've been taking Omega 3 oil and Biotin all along.

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I've been out most of the day. Went and got my hair colored. That took an hour and a half. It was nice and relaxing. Then I went looking for some shampoo/conditioner that my hairdresser recommended to try and get my growth started again. Then I went to lots of different clothing stores. I didn't buy any new clothes, I just get such a buzz out of trying on size 10s and having them fit. :lol: Some of them loosely. :(

Being out and about stopped me from thinking too much about my weight. I'm SO tired of thinking "fat". I know I'm not fat. At least not as fat as I used to be. I'm overweight. I'm not always the fattest person in the room. I don't get stared at when I'm out. I don't feel like everyone's watching me when I order food. I can tie my shoes without passing out. I feel great when I exercise. I need to be grateful for these accomplishments because I worked hard for them. So why can't we lose fat girl thinking along with the weight? I need to invent a pill that will do that. :smile: I'd be filthy rich if I did. :lol:

Good that you took some time for yourself! And, Celebrate those NSV's! We'll all have to work on the "fat girl thinking"!!

We went to the Navy support facility today... I had my heart set on these shoes I saw two weeks ago and didn't buy! DH intimidates me about buying shoes... he thinks all anyone needs is two pairs of shoes! So we go back today to do some grocery shopping and now the smallest size they have is 7 1/2... way too big for me. AND, I wanted to look at clothes. First couldn't find anyone to help me, then only a guy. He says "how can I help you?" I say, " Do you have any clothes that aren't size 2 teeny bopper clothes???" He says they don't have any plus sizes anymore. I'd already figured that out so I had an attitude!! So I told him he also didn't have anything that anyone over 30 would wear!! So I went home frustrated, and with nothing but cauliflower, lettuce, etc.!! I did get some Tostito Queso in a jar.. only 40 calories for 2 Tbsp. Figured I can use 1 TBSP in my eggbeater omelet in the morning.

I was worried about taking the fish oil capsules and I don't think I could get the liquid down.

Yeah the fat girl mentality is a bitch! I can finally look in the mirror and see myself as thin, but if I just sit here and think about myself...I still picture me as fat. Hang in there. It has to get better...RIGHT?:lol:

I found something called "Coromega" Orange Flavor Omega 3 Supplements.. about the consistency of yogurt or pudding, in squeeze tubes that you can either squeeze directly in to your mouth, or onto a spoon, or into something else like yogurt, etc. Only 20 calories, once a day, no sugar or artificial sweetner, colored with beta carotene, no dairy, yeast, wheat or gluten, tastes decent. I found it at Costco.. but Janet & I were told about it at a support group meeting we attended at her dr's office.

DD said something today about not being able to remember me being fat and I immediately wondered why she was baiting me. How could that be? I am fat! Then I realized that it was a complement. I feel like a fat person who is imposing as a thin person. Someday the disguise will fall away and I will once again be exposed for what I really am--a morbidly obese woman with no self esteem. How sad we are!

All these body image issues you gals are dealing with are getting scary!!

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Hi ladies! Hope you had a great Friday!

Ruby, I'm sorry you're not feeling so great about yourself today. I am amazed at your journey and I hope if you can't see it yourself you will take it from the rest of us that you've done a great job! Your hair will come back. I'm sure of it. I've been thinking about doing the fish oil things. They have some on QVC today. I think I'll look for what Phyl was mentioning at costco when I go to "the city" in a couple of weeks.

Phyl, I'm sorry that the navy exchange wasn't great for you! I'm glad you gave the guy a piece of your mind though. I've got a ton of 18's in a bag downstairs waiting to go to goodwill. Would you be interested in me sending them to you? Tops, bottoms, skirts....work and play related. I do have pets though so if you are allergic you wouldn't want them. Think about it. And then you can try them on in the privacy of your own home, do what you want with them and it wouldn't cost an arm and a lg.

DH is taking me out for fish and waiting for me....I'm dressed up....ish...jean capris and a nice shirt.....did up my makeup. I bought size 12's today!!!! I'm so psyched. DH says I look awesome. He even told me tonight that I shouldn't worry about spending money on clothes...as long as I WallyWorld and GoodWill it, he won't complain. Isn't he just the best????

Okay...better run. I'll check back after dinner. Happy weekend if you have plans.

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Hi ladies! Hope you had a great Friday!

Ruby, I'm sorry you're not feeling so great about yourself today. I am amazed at your journey and I hope if you can't see it yourself you will take it from the rest of us that you've done a great job! Your hair will come back. I'm sure of it. I've been thinking about doing the fish oil things. They have some on QVC today. I think I'll look for what Phyl was mentioning at costco when I go to "the city" in a couple of weeks.

Phyl, I'm sorry that the navy exchange wasn't great for you! I'm glad you gave the guy a piece of your mind though. I've got a ton of 18's in a bag downstairs waiting to go to goodwill. Would you be interested in me sending them to you? Tops, bottoms, skirts....work and play related. I do have pets though so if you are allergic you wouldn't want them. Think about it. And then you can try them on in the privacy of your own home, do what you want with them and it wouldn't cost an arm and a lg.

That's awfully nice of you. I don't think I'm quite ready for 18's, but it won't be long. In fact, one top I got last week (at Wal-Mart) is 18/20, but pants are 22/24 mostly, a couple of 2Xs. All my 3X are either already in the GoodWill box or will be when I get around to pulling them out of my closet. I used to find really nice things at the exchange, so that was somewhat frustrating. The one in 29 Palms still carries some plus sizes. Pretty soon I won't need them, but they still are carrying things that would only appeal to the quite young. As Janet would say, not "AGE APPROPRIATE" for a more mature type such as myself! But, to tell the truth, the mall is getting kind of like that, too!! No wonder I like Wal-Mart clothes. I used to be able to find a lot of things at Target, but they are going the same way. And all the fabrics seem so flimsy & nasty.

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Hey gang sorry I am late - I was super busy at work - read but didn't post. Then went grocery shopping after work - had steak for dinner - but it came back up - it was tbone - I am just going to have to stick with the fliet migon from costco. Tomorrow - going to show with GF to see the Sex in the City movie- lunch and whatever..

Body Image - I see a thin person in the mirror - but I am not looking in a mirror 24/7 I am looking out of the same eyes that I was looking out of 97lbs ago - I still am a fat chick in my head - I think tht we will always have this problem - if not always for a very long time - this is why alot of obese pple end up gaining their weight back - cuz they don't see the thin person that they have become..

Phyl - I remember that stuff it wasn't bad - DH doesn't understand that us women need more than 2 pairs of shoes.

I agree Walmart does have a good selection of plus size clothes for us age appropreate girls - I don't like super thin material either

Oh gang I am tired - even though it was a short week - it was a busy one - so I am off to bed - will ck in - in the morning either before or after gym

sweet dreams

xoxoxo

Janet

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Oh fahoozle!!!! I just spent 15 mins writing a reply and it dumped it! grrrr.

Oh well. I'll say more tomorrow. Now it's bedtime. Night ladies

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Good evening all. Not much happening. I went for a walk with DH tonight but we just sort of strolled along so Im not going to count it as a session.

I was going to tell you about this wonderful appetizer that my sister made for graduation. It was absolutely divine.

Canned chicken

mayo (light or fatfree is fine) (use as little or as much as you like)

dijon mustard (1 Tbsp per each 1/2 c mayo)

finely chopped celery

salt and pepper to taste (it brings out a bit more flavor in the chx)

Finely chopped green onions

craisings

chopped pineapple

Slivered almonds.

Mix it all together and then serve on endive boats. It was soooooo good. I can't even explain how awesome it was. The endive boats were the topping of it. I think it would be awesome as a stuffing for tomatoes too but my family won't eat it that way. We don't get endive around here so I want to find another way to serve it. It was a pretty good dip for crackers but those aren't great for me either.

That sounds wonderful!!! I am going to try it for sure on Romaine Lettuce Leaves

Had an okay day. I had a run in with one of my son's teachers. I don't think she would have said what she said had she known I was his mother and I was standing right there and was really upset at being called on it. Basically she snapped at him, turned around made some grumble about him, and when I said he was with me she said something derogatory about his organization skills....and it just slipped out....honestly I didn't plan on saying it....but I came back with "Maybe you should work on your people skills." Then I pointed out that I am a teacher and it is inappropriate for her to talk to a student OR a parent like that and then I walked out. HAG!!!! On the last day of school. Have a nice summer Michael. I've enjoyed having you in class. Look forward to seeing you next year. HAG!!!!! And then she has him next year too. grrr....I'm still gravelled over this. But....50 pounds ago I would NEVER have said that. So good for me, but I really do need to get my tongue under control.

I hope everyone is doing alright. Linda, I'm sorry your vacation wasn't as wonderful as you had hoped. Peaches, can you give me lessons on how to be diplomatic? I hope you have a better day tomorrow.

Night all

Today was weigh-in. I nervously got on the scale just now, and guess what? I weighed exactly the same as I did 3 weeks ago. So, I think it's fair to say that despite all the problems I've had with the thing, THE BAND WORKS!

Yeah Linda, I am glad your w/i went so well... with regards to family, I have never found its a good idea to have any expectations... as I am always the one disappointed.

Your kids are LUCKY to have a Mom and Dad that would foot the bill for the big trip... that was very generous indeed!

Oh fahoozle!!!! I just spent 15 mins writing a reply and it dumped it! grrrr.

Don't you just hate that, I thought I was the only one that happened to.

Oh well. I'll say more tomorrow. Now it's bedtime. Night ladies

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Oh I don't know if I win the "diplomatic award" or not? The chick at work that I have been having issues with? well yesterday things were quite pleasant between us... she even gave me a massage... we chatted... etc..

Then this a.m. I open my email, and she has another diatribe on there... telling me 'how' I am to talk to her etc...

I told her to 'turn the page and move on'... I am done with it....

My DH said my reply was curt....oops...:(

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Wow!!! Has everyone just been crazy busy or when I hit submit is this one going to die again on me? I hope it's crazy busy. It was a beautiful day so I'm really hoping it was wonderful for you.

I had a pretty good day. I did take a nice walk today with DH. It's great that he would walk with me again today. And then he and the oldest quack went out to the drive-in and left me with the younger two. So I watched a couple of Big Medicine's that I had recorded and then did 40 mins of wii fit. My age is still 46 which stinks, but it is late so maybe earlier it would be better. I can't believe I was exercising at 10pm. How insane is that? But I think I will sleep better.

And since we walked and I fitted, I made my exercise goal....and with an hour to spare :lol: ! I'm going to stick with the same goal for next month.

When I'm at the lake for 10 days I hope to do a morning walk and maybe an evening kayak or another walk. I'm really looking forward to the time at the lake. The people who are going to be there with me don't know I had surgery and know nothing about my weight loss. Last time I was there I tried to do the walks but there was no way I was going very far. Im not going to let anything stop me this year!!!:laugh:

Well...everyone should be here soon and it's time to go to bed. I'll see you all tomorrow at sometime. I am cooking dinner at church tomorrow. I've made broc/cauliflower salad, creamed cukes, and tomorrow I'm going to make fruit salad as well as some low sugar dessert. I found the recipe in a cook book. I'm hoping it is yummy. Higher fat but low sugar....sort of a trade off I guess. I'm going to put the recipe here and let me know what you think....especially Karri, since you're our resident chef:thumbup:

Sugar Free Chocolate pudding

Low fat sour cream

sugar free cool-whip

Bananas

Sliced strawberries

Crushed chocolate wafers

Make the pudding, mix in 1/2 c of the s.cream. In the bottom of a cup put a layer of strawberries, a layer of banana, crushed wafers, coolwhip, then pudding, then coolwhip, wafers, then arrange bananas and strawberries on top.

I'm putting them in little champagne glasses from my wedding 6 years ago...so I can get them out of the cupboard. They actually hold about 4-6 oz is all. I hope it is wonderful! I'm keeping my fingers crossed because the church ladies can be so harsh. Keep your fingers crossed for me.

Okay...bedtime. I'll talk to you all tomorrow.

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Hi Steph. I think everyone is just super busy. I know I am. It was a glorious day yesterday and I spent time by the pool. I really enjoyed myself. I didn't feel self-conscious about my body. Wow, that was the best thing of all. :thumbup:

I weighed myself yesterday and I have gained half a pound. :laugh: I was actually really, really pleased because I expected it to go up a few. I was hoping no more than 3. So I'm very pleased about that. :biggrin2: It's not a great result, but it's one I can cope with. I'm going to make better choices this week and hope and pray I stay out of the fat end of the thinking tank. :thumbup:

I decided yesterday that I'm going to go back to Aikido this month. I've been away from it for about 18 months because I felt more like a sumo wrestler than a martial artist. :lol: But now I'm eager and keen to get back into that.

I made my May exercise target. :biggrin: I think I'll just log my treadmill time this month and not bother with the gym work and aikido. Having to come here to change my signature most days keeps me focused and where I need to be.

It's going to be another lovely day here today, so hopefully we'll spend lots of time by the pool again. I don't have any chores to do except pick up a gift card for my son's teacher for the end of year party this week. That won't take very long and could be put off until tomorrow if we get sidetracked at the pool.

Enjoy your day ladies. Drink! Drink! Drink!

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