Death and sadness.

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Roo, I will bet you never sat down and shared all your feelings and what happened, like you did here. Life does go on, but all these memories are jumbled in our head and it does help to talk about it. You went through so much, and your Mom too. I cannot imagine how hard it was taking in the children like you did. There is a place in heaven reserved for special people like you, in my opinion. Your Mom raised a great daughter, and her legacy will live on through your daughter. God Bless and thanks for sharing with us. I think grief probably got a lot of us some added pounds. We all have similar stories, don't we? Linda

[Roo101769 742]

Linda- It was many years of dealing before I had the chance to really take time to grieve. ( and I only was able to partially) Life does go on and that is what it is. We all have our moments of heartache and grief, that is one of those human traits. Unfortunately to love is to eventually lose... Never gets easier I believe. I wouldn't say others sharing their pain lessons ours, but it helps to empathize with others. Sometimes listening to another's story helps us take focus off our own issues, even for a short while. I share my utmost condolences with everyone who has posted on this thread, and all others who read it and have had loss in their lives. I am far from a saint or perfect. I made plenty of mistakes trying to raise my niece and nephew, and I still make mistakes as a mom. But I am still learning too, I think we all learn until the day we pass. I just hope I do leave them with the traits my mom instilled in me.

Roo, I will bet you never sat down and shared all your feelings and what happened, like you did here. Life does go on, but all these memories are jumbled in our head and it does help to talk about it. You went through so much, and your Mom too. I cannot imagine how hard it was taking in the children like you did. There is a place in heaven reserved for special people like you, in my opinion. Your Mom raised a great daughter, and her legacy will live on through your daughter. God Bless and thanks for sharing with us. I think grief probably got a lot of us some added pounds. We all have similar stories, don't we? Linda

[Aliciafl2014 57]

My mom last year. My ex husband at a young 55 last week. Have to make the most of everyday. Having this surgery will help w that. I've wasted so much time avoiding life because of my weight.

[HalloweenBaby24 447]

2011 I lost my grandfather to throat cancer, A year later Summer 2012 found out my own father had lung cancer.

These were two men in which I grew up watching never really take care of themselves with smoking, excessive drinking and high fat foods.

My Dad's death really hit me hard, And his passing made me realize I needed to do better for myself and my family. I think if my dad was here today he would be happy about my decision and support me every step of the way, and those thoughts is what keeps me going.

Edited July 23, 2014 by HalloweenBaby24

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

My mom last year. My ex husband at a young 55 last week. Have to make the most of everyday. Having this surgery will help w that. I've wasted so much time avoiding life because of my weight.

I am so sorry Alicia. You must be suffering terribly right now. I commend you for going forward now to reclaim your life. It is time for you to get healthier, the reason we all want this surgery. God Bless, Linda

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

2011 I lost my grandfather to throat cancer, A year later Summer 2012 found out my own father had lung cancer.

These were two men in which I grew up watching never really take care of themselves with smoking, excessive drinking and high fat foods.

My Dad's death really hit me hard, And his passing made me realize I needed to do better for myself and my family. I think if my dad was here today he would be happy about my decision and support me every step of the way, and those thoughts is what keeps me going.

Good for you making this decision to change your life. My Mom and Dad were both smokers and died of lung cancer, COPD and heart problems. Growing up I learned to love those high fat food, biscuits and gravy. It is a new world these days, and getting processed food out of our diets should make a difference for future generations. I wish you the best, the absolute best. Your Dad would be proud of you, I know. God's Grace, Linda

[InItToLoseIt2014 20]

While I cannot relate to the loss of a child, I can relate to the loss of loved ones. My paternal grandfather passed in October before my birth in May. I lost the remaining 3 grandparents before I reached 29. My paternal grandmother passed 10 days after my son (oldest) was born. She was in a nursing home and we took him to visit her when he was 9 days old and the nursing home called the following morning to say she had passed. For many years I felt a lot of guilt. I brought life into this world only to have life taken away. I no longer feel that way, but did for many years. I've lost several close friends in recent years. But the worst I've felt at this time just happened on June 20, 2014...my dad passed away surrounded by his family. He had a heart attack on May 28 (my birthday) over into May 29. He had 2 stints placed on the 29th and they found out he had pulmonary fibrosis (from working in a fertilizer plants for about 13 years). He came home on June 5, and my mom had to call ambulance on June 11 to go back to hospital. He never came back home. He was gone in less than a month...but he wouldn't have wanted it any other way. He wouldn't have wanted to prolong his life and be attached to an oxygen tank 24/7.

The pain is still very new to me and I cry several times a day. He was a stern man, but a very loving man.

Yesterday I attended the memorial services of a very dear friend (although she was my friend's mother...she was a friend also). She was like a 3rd grandmother to my children when they were younger and she still lived here.

For all who have lost loved ones, words cannot express my sorrow for you. Because I know that words don't usually make it better. Just know you are all in my prayers for peace and comfort while you grieve.

P.S. I failed to mention that my dad was 100% behind me having surgery. Although he and I never discussed it, he told my mom he wanted me to have it and was going to help me pay for it. So in honor of my dad I will go forward and get my life back!!

Edited July 23, 2014 by InItToLoseIt2014

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

InItToLose, I am sorry for the recent loss of your Dad. It is obvious he wanted you to be happy and healthy. Thanks for sharing that story with us. Death of our loved ones and dear friends has touched and impacted all of us throughout our lives. We are anonymous for the most part here, and I think it adds a personal touch to our weight loss journey to share our loss and pain, and know that others also have gone through hard times. Blessings, Linda

[Chelly 364]

I have also had loss in my life that was horrific.

The first was my beloved Dad four days before my 19th birthday. We were still in mourning on my birthday but people that visited gave me gifts and a birthday cake to try to make it a little less painful that day.

The second was in 2005 when my one and only brother died of kidney problems and I found him in his apartment. I was at a loss in my world.

The third was when two months after he died my mother in law dropped dead in the middle of a party.

The fourth was in 2006 when my beautiful 19 yr old niece died in her sleep of a grand mal seizure. She was just figuring things out of what she wanted to do.

The fifth was a few month after that my favorite aunt died.

The sixth was loosing my mom to acute leukemia in 2012. She was so proud of being a survivor of child hood cancer of the bone and never knew she had leukemia because we didn't want to tell her that cancer was going to take her life.

The latest one was my favorite uncle last fall.

I'm tired of funerals and loosing people I care about. I know that it's part of life but it stinks.

I hope that it will be a long time before I loose anyone again.

My heart still hurts everyday but I still go on with a smile as much as I can.

To all of you who have lost I understand your pain and may you find peace again.

Edited July 24, 2014 by Chelly

[terry1118 1,274]

Sometimes there is a unique group of people who share a bond no one else can comprehend. I read this here sometimes. I lost my 30 year old son in November 2006 from a heart attack. His 25 y/o girlfriend, an RN, committed suicide 4 months later which destroyed me. My sister dies from ALS in 2009. I will never stop my tears. Then the parents and inlaws went to heaven, terribly. Share your pain with me.

My sister was brutally murdered the year I was married. 11 years later I lost my other sister in a tragic diving accident at 40 steps, Newport RI (ironically, it was where we spread my other sister's ashes). A few years later my husband's dad hung himself. My husband and my twin daughters battle depression every day - I think it's hereditary. My biggest fear is that I'll lose one of them. One daughter already tried to commit suicide a few years ago.

All I can do is move on from the losses and love the ones who are with me for as long as I have them. We all have losses. Some more tragic than others but we will all deal with tragedy, eventually. There is still a lot of good in life...

[Zane's Mom 184]

My only son who was 18 was murdered 3 years ago in a senseless Robbery. I have been through two trials and so much pain.

I am trying to get my life back and this year is by far the most I have ventured out into the world.

I have a great support group with a local chapter of compassionate friends. I'm on 3 daily medications.

I miss my son everyday. He was such an amazing young man with so many dreams. Life sometimes knocks the world right out from under you.

No one should ever experience the loss of a child.

I've had other losses, but this was just horrific.

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

Every death, losing someone we are close to, profoundly affects us. Definitely coping with grief can result in overeating or not eating at all. I would say grief and depression made me not care about my health and my body, even my life at times. When I hear someone has taken their life by suicide, I want to beat myself up, why didn't I see it, why didn't I do something. When someone you love is murdered or killed in an accident, it is crushing. Senseless. Such a loss. Thank everyone for sharing a piece of themselves here. We are indeed a family. In more ways than one.

[marfar7 1,528]

My only son who was 18 was murdered 3 years ago in a senseless Robbery. I have been through two trials and so much pain.

I am trying to get my life back and this year is by far the most I have ventured out into the world.

I have a great support group with a local chapter of compassionate friends. I'm on 3 daily medications.

I miss my son everyday. He was such an amazing young man with so many dreams. Life sometimes knocks the world right out from under you.

No one should ever experience the loss of a child.

I've had other losses, but this was just horrific.

OMG. ((HUGS)). I'm so, so sorry...

[marfar7 1,528]

In 2007, my 46 yr old husband of 19 yr passed away suddenly (a perforated colon). I was devastated. Thought I'd never again be happy.

It's now 7 yrs later, I've been remarried for almost 3 yrs. It took a good 3 yrs before I was even ready to start dating again. Losing 70 lbs definitely helped with my self esteem.

I can't believe how happy I am right now. I was so depressed that I spent 2 weeks in the psych hospital while they worked out my meds, fearing that I would harm myself...

Everyone has a sad story I guess. I can't believe all the stories I've read here today. Sad

((HUGS))

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

In 2007, my 46 yr old husband of 19 yr passed away suddenly (a perforated colon). I was devastated. Thought I'd never again be happy.

It's now 7 yrs later, I've been remarried for almost 3 yrs. It took a good 3 yrs before I was even ready to start dating again. Losing 70 lbs definitely helped with my self esteem.

I can't believe how happy I am right now. I was so depressed that I spent 2 weeks in the psych hospital while they worked out my meds, fearing that I would harm myself...

Everyone has a sad story I guess. I can't believe all the stories I've read here today. Sad

((HUGS))

I am happy that you have moved past the sadness and found new happiness. I know it is still with you though. You are right, there are sad stories here, but sometimes you (or me, or all of us) might read a post, like some of these here, and count our blessings. I know I had a lot of anger when my son and my sister died. I have worked through it. I refused for about 5 years to even let my husband (stepdad) go to my son's gravesite with me. It was MY place. I cannot fathom the anger I would have if someone took a family member's life.