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In 2007, my 46 yr old husband of 19 yr passed away suddenly (a perforated colon). I was devastated. Thought I'd never again be happy. It's now 7 yrs later, I've been remarried for almost 3 yrs. It took a good 3 yrs before I was even ready to start dating again. Losing 70 lbs definitely helped with my self esteem. I can't believe how happy I am right now. I was so depressed that I spent 2 weeks in the psych hospital while they worked out my meds, fearing that I would harm myself... Everyone has a sad story I guess. I can't believe all the stories I've read here today. Sad ((HUGS))

How do you get through the sadness and longing everyday? Having my adult kids visit is good. And therapy. But the missing. And the daily tears

Just sad

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In 2007, my 46 yr old husband of 19 yr passed away suddenly (a perforated colon). I was devastated. Thought I'd never again be happy. It's now 7 yrs later, I've been remarried for almost 3 yrs. It took a good 3 yrs before I was even ready to start dating again. Losing 70 lbs definitely helped with my self esteem. I can't believe how happy I am right now. I was so depressed that I spent 2 weeks in the psych hospital while they worked out my meds, fearing that I would harm myself... Everyone has a sad story I guess. I can't believe all the stories I've read here today. Sad ((HUGS))

How do you get through the sadness and longing everyday? Having my adult kids visit is good. And therapy. But the missing. And the daily tears

Just sad

20+years of a great fun marriage gone in 5 weeksFrom first dr visit to death. 2 months and I just still can hardly belie bit daily

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To Linda and others who have suffered a loss: I can only hope that you have other loved ones who can comfort you, hold you, and listen to you. I find that connecting with nature and a higher power gets me through a day at a time....sometimes a few minutes at a time.

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Sorry to hear Linda, but maybe venting and telling about it a little is part of the healing process. I wish you the best in recovery.

I went through a one and a half year period several years ago (2007/2008) that was very trying and painful as well. During that period I went through a divorce, sick for 4 straight months which ended in having my tonsils removed at my advanced age, lost my oldest brother and best friend to brain cancer, shortly after that my mother died and then I lost my job.....just a week before Christmas. My family was very close and all of a sudden family life as I knew it was ripped apart. I never resorted to drugs or being an alcoholic, but I did some serious emotional eating and regained all of the weight I had lost prior to that crazy year and a half. I love life and this whole journey thing, but AT TIMES.....life can just plain suck. I just look at my life as that roller coaster ride, most of the turns are good and there are more ups than downs for my life, so I am thankful for that.

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I haven't had my surgery yet (90 insurance diet :/ but losing some of the most important people in my life has gotten me to this weight and now sparks me to lose it. My mom died the day before my son was supposed to come into this world 21 years ago this month. I was 91/2 month pregnant and my sweet boy decided that he wasn't coming so my dr scheduled a C section. My mom was in the hospital with a blood clot(which the hospital said she would recover from. She had had a radical hysterectomy from cancer and was almost to 5 yrs when she has a breast removed. She did fine but developed the clot. I called her (i lived 1500 miles away) to tell her that the grandson would be delivered the next day. She said oh your sister is having her baby tomorrow too. We talked awhile and she said she was tired and lunch was just delivered(for some reason they had her out of bed with no compression on her legs.) We hung up(I at least got to tell her I loved her) She got out of the chair and collapsed and died before they could get the crash cart to her. She was 68. We drove to Ny from Florida and my father and brothers were wrecked and my sister was still in the hospital because she had to have her C section due to issues she was having. Especially with the stress of losing my mom. So that left me to run everything. I did and when I got home my son was born the next day by C section. Between the grief and post partum, I gained 90 lbs I still am bawling now as I write this. My best guy friend died a slow agonizing death from AIDS 3 months later. My father died 4 yrs later because he refused to see a doctor after what happened with my mom. I lost my favorite aunt 3 yrs later. I tried to lose the weight but never was successful. Fast forward to the last 3 yrs. I lost my job then my mother in law was diagnosed brain cancer, I was her live in caretaker. Finding out she knew something was going on but hid it. She died 6 weeks after diagnosis. During that time my husband was going to lose his job if we didn't relocate so 3 weeks after she passed we moved to Ky. At the same time my big brother was having issues after getting his knees replaced. He went into a coma for over a month and was in and out the hospital for this unknown illness till he passed away this past February. Again me back to Ny to run everything because his fiancee isnt well and couldn't take care of it (especially with the drama queen relatives we have) I was away from my family for 7 weeks taking care of his affairs. He was 62 and am amazing brother and citizen of our hometown that they named a county road for him... I realized that I haven't been living my life and I didn't want to die in my 60s. I want to see my grand children hopefully my son will cooperate. I know anything can happen and there's no guarantees but one... if I don't lose this weight I WILL die. At least losing will give me a fighting chance. And I'm gonna have a good time doing it. I'm sorry this was so long but it's how I got here. I will fight tooth and nail

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Aroundhky and jyrickchick64, thank you for sharing your stories with us. Sometimes it just helps to tell the story, and I know it makes us all stop and remember that we are real people here, with real stories, of every nature. Be kind to everyone, you do not know their story until you take the time to ask and listen. God Bless. Lose the weight and live longer. Cheers to good health and better days.

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Kyrickchick. You have been through so much! What a rough patch that life had you on. I so hope you can get what you want. And that includes your desire for WLS. I think it can change your life. And it sounds as if things have to get better

Thanks for helping me with this new widowhood. I truly underestimated grief. I had lost my dear mom years ago. But never could understand this depth. Sending caring thoughts

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Thank you guys. I told myself when I wrote it I wasn't gonna write a novel but it turned out that way anyway. Even tho I've been thru the ringer I try to look at the bright side on stuff. My loved ones spirits are free and there is no more pain. But I'm gonna do my best to enjoy my life and be healthy. I am thankful for my husband, son and friends and my new friends on here. Thank you to you all.

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    • Aunty Mamo

      Iʻm roughly 6 weeks post-op this morning and have begun to feel like a normal human, with a normal human body again. I started introducing solid foods and pill forms of medications/supplements a couple of weeks ago and it's really amazing to eat meals with my family again, despite the fact that my portions are so much smaller than theirs. 
      I live on the island of Oʻahu and spend a lot of time in the water- for exercise, for play,  and for spiritual & mental health. The day I had my month out appointment with my surgeon, I packed all my gear in my truck, anticipating his permission to get back in the ocean. The minute I walked out of that hospital I drove straight to the shore and got in that water. Hallelujah! My appointment was at 10 am. I didn't get home until after 5 pm. 
      I'm down 31 pounds since the day of surgery and 47 since my pre-op diet began, with that typical week long stall occurring at three weeks. I'm really starting to see some changes lately- some of my clothing is too big, some fits again. The most drastic changes I notice however are in my face. I've also noticed my endurance and flexibility increasing. I was really starting to be held up physically, and I'm so grateful that I'm seeing that turn around in such short order. 
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Oh yeah, something I wanted to rant about, a billing dispute that cropped up 3 months ago.
      Surgery was in August of 2023. A bill shows up for over $7,000 in January. WTF? I asks myself. I know that I jumped through all of the insurance hoops and verified this and triple checked that, as did the surgeon's office. All was set, and I paid all of the known costs before surgery.
      A looong story short, is that an assistant surgeon that was in the process of accepting money from my insurance company touched me while I was under anesthesia. That is what the bill was for. But hey, guess what? Some federal legislation was enacted last year to help patients out when they cannot consent to being touched by someone out of their insurance network. These types of bills fall under something called, "surprise billing," and you don't have to put up with it.
      https://www.cms.gov/nosurprises
      I had to make a lot of phone calls to both the surgeon's office and the insurance company and explain my rights and what the maximum out of pocket costs were that I could be liable for. Also had to remind them that it isn't my place to be taking care of all of this and that I was going to escalate things if they could not play nice with one another.
      Quick ending is that I don't have to pay that $7,000+. Advocate, advocate, advocate for yourself no matter how long it takes and learn more about this law if you are ever hit with a surprise bill.
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Some days I feel like an infiltrator... I'm participating in society as a "thin" person. They have no idea that I haven't always been one of them! 🤣
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    • ChunkCat

      Thank you everyone for your well wishes! I totally forgot I wrote an update here... I'm one week post op today. I gained 15 lbs in water weight overnight because they had to give me tons of fluids to bring my BP up after surgery! I stayed one night in the hospital. Everything has been fine except I seem to have picked up a bug while I was there and I've been running a low grade fever, coughing, and a sore throat. So I've been hydrating well and sleeping a ton. So far the Covid tests are negative.
      I haven't been able to advance my diet past purees. Everything I eat other than tofu makes me choke and feels like trying to swallow rocks. They warned me it would get worse before it gets better, so lets hope this is all normal. I have my follow up on Monday so we'll see. Living on shakes and soup again is not fun. I had enough of them the first time!! LOL 
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    • BeanitoDiego

      Still purging all of the larger clothing. This morning, a shirt that I ADORED wearing ended up on top. Hard to let it go, but it was also hard to let go of those habits that also no longer serve my highest good. Onward and upward!
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