I knew I shouldn't have said anything!

[erint2014 9]

So, I've been getting into a good exercise routine as my surgery date is quickly approaching (July 8th). I've really enjoyed going to Water aerobics classes and making it a part of my daily routine. Today after the class, I was talking to the instructor and told her how much I was enjoying her classes. I then shared with her the fact that I was having surgery in less than two weeks. As soon as I said it, I could tell from the look on her face that I shouldn't have mentioned it. She then began asking me all kinds of questions like, "Have you tried eating healthier? Eating less? Going to Weight Watchers?" I wanted to scream back at her, "OF COURSE I HAVE!!!", but instead, I just nodded my head and tried to wrap the conversation up. As I was leaving, she handed me a business card about a nutrition program she wanted me to look into before jumping into anything. Ugh! It is so frustrating that you can't share something that you've researched, worked hard to prepare for, and are making major adjustments to your lifestyle to make this entire process a success....just to be judged. I know it's not the first time and probably won't be the last time people look down on me for having the surgery. I am excited about this decision and feel like I don't want to have to keep it a secret, but I also don't want to have to explain myself or feel like people are going to look down on me based on a decision to better myself. Has anyone else dealt with something like this? Who have you shared the info with that you are having or have had surgery with? What have you told people after the surgery when they ask about your weight loss???

[Dexter1118 27]

I have shared it with people I know I can trust. They have all been supportive. Strangely the most common reaction I get is "What about all the skin afterwards?" That is not at all my concern right now! God Luck!

[ziggypbang 272]

People are uninformed! Its so sad that the lack of information affects people in the health care and fitness field as much as everyone else. You are on a great path! Don't be derailed or discouraged when the ignorant try to be "helpful.". Best wishes!

[SnohoGal98296 371]

I have been careful about who I share with - a very good friend let me know that eventually everyone would figure it out since the weight would come off - I am very luck that where I work we are all very supportive of each other, as I began to share, some before and some after, I have received excellent positive support from my co-workers. Outside of my department I haven't talked about it much, but I know I will get questions eventually as I am usually involved with other departments. And my customers - they will notice too - especially since we only see each other about once every two months or so... I have a friend that brags about self-control (She lost about 30 lbs while going through a divorce) and about how she is now a hot cougar, I can't imagine telling her - she would immediately say why can't you do it like I did? I don't have the balls to say "you mean get divorced?"

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

It was my very honest husband who convinced me what I do is no one's business and I do not have to share. He is a private person, and I am a blabbermouth. Since he asked me not to tell people, even his 31 y/o son, I have kept quiet. Very thankful because I am sick and tired of people just discussing my weight loss, and they do not know about the surgery, which I do not want to discuss surgery anyway with people. I just want to yell, change the subject!

[ViciousVixen 35]

Actually when I told my husband that I was looking into getting the surgery that was his first response.. Have you actually tired dieting? What about exercising? I was like seriously you just asked me this?? Of course I've tried everything!! You just don't realize it (we were living apart for a little over a year). It's not like our first reaction is. Oh, darn it. I've gained weight. I best get my stomach cut out. Ugh. People are so judgey sometimes!

[gowalking 10,790]

I know this must sound odd, but I was lucky in that I needed both hips replaced and when I got all the questions about my weight loss, and how much I lost, etc., I was always able to point to my hips and say that I needed to lose the weight because of the hip surgery.

I'm sure some people are presuming I had WLS to get such a great result in a rather short time, but with an obvious medical issue such as joint degeneration, it seems to make WLS a more palatable option. If your health issues are invisible, or you want to avoid health issues, then the comments about losing 'naturally' come up.

It's just ignorance....and there's nothing you can do about that. Good luck and know that we on this forum understand your frustration.

[mi75 1,235]

it irks me when people think we are 'jumping into' WLS. it's not exactly a decision you make on a Monday and surgery that Friday. this is a LONG process, many months for most.

it also revolves around a food ADDICTION. i once retorted back to a colleague who questioned me the same way "would you discourage an alcoholic from going to AA"? and dropped it.

another poster said it best, people are terribly misinformed.

rest assured in the decision you made for yourself is best and keep your eye on the prize. good luck!

[kd5wzr 108]

I've only told the four people whom I trust the most and truly value their opinion. I really don't care what anyone else thinks. Being a jerk can be very useful sometimes.

[Ginger Snaps 1,323]

When I first signed up with my personal trainer and told her I was having the surgery the first thing out of her mouth was "Oh, you should do it through diet and exercise first." I told her I had tried that and that the doctor agreed I needed the surgery and that was it. After that she was very interested to hear what the diet would be like after, etc.

I only had one other person ask me why I was having the surgery and I pointed to my belly and said my doctor agrees I need it and so does my insurance company. She didn't say anything else.

I don't get angry at them, they just don't know what they're talking about and it's not their decision.

[bikrchk 1,313]

I didn't tell a ton of folks before I had it done. Close friends, family and a my work team. All were supportive, though many had questions as they were concerned for my safety. I handled it this way; if I cared about their opinion, I would work to educate them. If not, screw them if they're not on board with my plan to get healthy that I've been built with my PCP and surgeon for the last year.

Fast forward... I'm 9 months post op and I tell everyone who asks what my "secret" is. You never know who'd struggling and needs to hear your experience either for themselves or for a loved one. I've helped many folks toward a journey that may just save their life and had no negative comments so far. Or maybe I just don't remember since if they're not on my side in this, I DON'T CARE! :-) The best revenge is being fabulous. Mission Accomplished.

[Mellyb251 30]

Actually when I told my husband that I was looking into getting the surgery that was his first response.. Have you actually tired dieting? What about exercising? I was like seriously you just asked me this?? Of course I've tried everything!! You just don't realize it (we were living apart for a little over a year). It's not like our first reaction is. Oh, darn it. I've gained weight. I best get my stomach cut out. Ugh. People are so judgey sometimes!

I think judgey might be my new favorite word

My parents are on this weird diet where they eat only apples for a day and then something else the next while drinking alkaline Water - they have been losing weight and don't understand why I won't do their diet instead of getting the surgery! It gives me nightmares of the grapefruit diet all over again :$

Edited June 26, 2014 by Mellyb251

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

Because of all the complications I have had because of my choice to have WLS. i have been sorta thrown into the lime light somewhat in my area. It is like a big closeted thing here. Don't let anyone know and don't ever talk about it. I can't find anyone in my area who even had WLS. How can you support each other when you are told not to even talk about it.. I have been sleeved. I did not break the law. I decided to get healthy the only way I could..As I tried it all their way before.....People are so unbelievably ignorant of the facts. They want to keep the funds in their pockets as well and keep society quiet about what is available for them. It bugs me to no end..

When I was sleeved the extra mural talked down to me because they had to look after me for a while. I won each and everyone of them over with my story and my progress. Not to mention my positive attitude despite the complications. My choices were limited and I am so glad I had it done for my health. Because it worked! Even with the complications The surgery did its part ! And I am doing mine....

I love my sleeve and am proud of myself for doing it..And proud of every one else who is considering it or have done it...The sky is the limit..Yours for the taking...And it feels awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[LindafromFlorida 1,542]

You are fabulous RJ!

[TatroBenay 3]

I have chosen to do everything differently then I have in the past. My whole family is excited for me, they know what a struggle it has been. My daughters first concern was what happens when people start to notice? I am a private person, and the minute people start to notice any weight loss and make comments, it irritates me and I give up. I don't understand for the life of me why people think it is encouraging to comment on any weight change, up or down. I have decided to tell people from the start, that way I won't get as many questions after. I am so excited about this new path I am taking, and the last thing I want to do is let people who don't matter derail this train! What they think doesn't matter, and I just have been saying so. This is a decision that my husband and I have made, together. Other then that I don't need anyone else's opinions.