So I was walking down the corridor and this lady I've never met was like have you lost weight? What have you been doing? I'm a pretty slow loser so was happy someone noticed but walked away feeling humiliated and self conscious. How many people had noticed the fat girl in the office? What had they being saying behind my back: it's stuff like this that has always made me self conscious and introverted. I still have a ways to go with the weight loss and worried about dealing with more attention as the weight loss becomes more visible. I don't have problem receiving compliments but I think it'll be a painful reminder of how big I used to be and the social stigma that came with it.

Hello @, it does happen more often the more you lose. I also think the more it happens the less self conscious you will be and if you're anything like me you'll come up with some good one liners when someone makes a comment out of nowhere.

About four months out I had a cashier at my local grocery store notice my weight loss and asked me about it. I was actually thrilled someone noticed, because its always been hard for me to see the losses on myself.

I don't think people were thinking negatively about you before in terms of your size; its more likely they noticed you are quite a bit smaller and are trying to be encouraging.

That was a nice compliment! Hope you said "yes, thank you I have and I feel great!". Saying "thanks" is a great one-liner! LOL

Kim

Congrats on your loss.

I have always said I need to embrace the obese me. Despite the struggles it is the obese me that has taken action to improve myself. I am just as worthy whether I way 320 or 120.

startingoveryetagain, I wish I had an easy answer for you, but the truth is there is always going to be someone at work, in your life or that passes you on the street that going to make negative comments about you. No one is universally liked. There are people that make themselves feel better by disparaging others.

If you work hard, you're a suckup.

If you lose weight, you are vain or doing it the wrong way.

If you don't work hard enough, you're a slacker and aren't pulling your weight around here.

If you're working hard enough, then you're doing it wrong.

I try to go with the flow, that some one is always going to have a comment about me. So I try to make them all equally unhappy! My motto is: I make everyone happy... sometimes by arriving... sometimes by leaving!

Edited June 5, 201412 yr by joatsaint

I can relate - oddly I feel a little embarrased when a close friend notes I've lost more weight. It's good and I know I have lost, but something about it feels slightly negative for some reason. And yes, saying "Thank you I have - and I feel great" is a great response, and one I do most often, in part because it sort of ends the conversation and gives me time to find a new topic.

The other day I gave a talk (like I do most every week) to the 130 or so people I work with, and it was a good presentation - really good. Get this, three or four people all commented on how much they like my hair this way and not one comment about the presentation! Granted I'm wearing my hair down just now, since it got cut too short to pin up, but it was pretty funny. I just think they know something is different about my appearance, and figure it's the hair. Eventually they'll notice I've lost something like 35 pounds now. LOL. Frankly, I'd rather them thinks it's the hair than be talking about my weight though.

Receiving compliments gets easier. And fun! I think we all have to make a concerted effort to demarc the line between what used to be us and what is us. We're no longer responsible for what used to be us, so we're not reacting to it at all. I'm not accepting compliments anymore, thinking that the caveat is that I was so huge before that I wasn't pretty. No more of that. And when people say, hey you look nice today............not that you didn't look nice before....I stop them. Hey. Don't qualify your compliment by trying to boost the self esteem of a woman long gone. Just give the compliment and let it stand.

So I was walking down the corridor and this lady I've never met was like have you lost weight? What have you been doing? I'm a pretty slow loser so was happy someone noticed but walked away feeling humiliated and self conscious. How many people had noticed the fat girl in the office? What had they being saying behind my back: it's stuff like this that has always made me self conscious and introverted. I still have a ways to go with the weight loss and worried about dealing with more attention as the weight loss becomes more visible. I don't have problem receiving compliments but I think it'll be a painful reminder of how big I used to be and the social stigma that came with it.

Get used to it sweetie. Some days you will love the comments, and other days, you will want to scream. People don't recognize me. I mean it. They don't say, oh Lizzy you look like you lost weight...they say..OMG!! I didn't realize who you were!' I'm tired of it alot of the time and like you, think they must have really been critical of me when I was overweight. But on the other hand, how can I blame them. Look at the before and after attached. I wouldn't know this is the same person either. Good luck and hang in there!

I have no shame in my game! lol I've been telling everyone and anyone that will listen about my then upcoming procedure. I'm happy to have had the guts to get it done as should you! Be proud you were proactive. I'm looking forward to lower BP, lower liver enzymes and no more sounding like a chainsaw when I sleep(so I've been told ). If you truly don't want anyone to know then don't tell them. You owe them nothing. If you are comfortable you can tell them about your new eating habits and workouts. They don't have to know about the surgery end of it. Good luck you will figure out the best way for you to deal with this.

I've had similar experiences both in the office with folks I don't really know well and once with a neighbor I'd never met before. It's a little weird, I agree! It may be hard, but try to view these experiences as compliments and OWN your success! You've accomplished a great deal and someone noticed!

Hello @, it does happen more often the more you lose. I also think the more it happens the less self conscious you will be and if you're anything like me you'll come up with some good one liners when someone makes a comment out of nowhere.

Please share some good one liners with us. I need some good ones. .lol

Them: Looks like you have lost some weight.

You: Yes, I have. Would you like a piece of my tapeworm??????

Them: Wow you've been losing weight haven't you?

Me: *wild look* huh? Um... no.

__________________

Them: You look like you've lost a lot of weight! How much?

Me: I lost 10 Lbs so far! *Big smile*

__________________

Them: How are you losing all that weight?

Me: I promised never to tell. *smile*

I just want to back this up with I am a class clown so people expect these answers from me. lol

I have always loved the circus!