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Disabledaccount

LAP-BAND Patients
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Everything posted by Disabledaccount

  1. So a little bit of a backstory. I've been overweight my entire life, from child to adult. I have never know what it's like to be thin. Yo yo'ed all my life and was never succesful and unfortunately I think there's a genetic element. Almost everyone on my mom's side is obese. When I started researching VSG I was around 330 and seeing the amazing results on this site helped me make the decision. I was so excited to get the procedure and go on this journey. Going into surgery I was around 322 and given how high I started I had very lofty expectations. I easily expected to lose 50 pounds in 3 months. Ha, as the saying goes the best laid plans. I'm 1.5 years out and let me tell you at no stage (other than the 2 week liquid diet where I lost 22 pounds) have a experienced any rapid weight loss. It's almost as if my body doesn't want to let go. I'm now around 262 pounds and let me tell you it's been a slow arduous process. Any time I think of how I expected things to turn out and how they actually are I just break down and cry. I'm still obese, sure I've lost a couple of dress sizes but the gut is still there. And it's not even about hitting the exact goal weight, it's the fact that I'm very big. I've been wallowing in depression for a while and keep thinking to myself why is God punishing me? If there's one thing I've wanted my entire life, it was to be normal sized and I viewed VSG as my last chance. Of course my dedication has waned, though I still work out 3x times a week. It's sad particularly when I read the amazing results others have had on here but I'm starting to think this might be it. Maybe just do the best I can and be happy with the 60 pound loss. Man, I'm absolutely devastated. And the thing is I'm one the younger side and didn't have health issues other than high BP so this was more about aesthetics, losing the weight being more confident to pursue relationships(single, no kids)/be more social. Now it seems like I'm in a holding pattern and I'm alive but not really living.
  2. Disabledaccount

    Goodbye 300s!

    I'm so thrilled! The scale finally moved this week and now i'm under 300 pounds. As someone who used to yoyo diet i'm confident that this is the last time i'll ever be this high. So happy and motivated!
  3. @@Erica Brownlee Hi Erica, just stumbled upon your post because I'm am struggling with the exact issue. In fact I just made a post about it. I'm almost 2 years out and don't think I got the best results with the sleeve. Im going to revamp my eating but also going to go back to my surgeon and get some further testing done and figure out how long before I need to take further action. Would love to hear about your progress, please free to DM updates. Thanks
  4. Disabledaccount

    1.5 years out, only 40% loss, Devastated

    @@BLERDgirl Oh trust me I was never under the illusion that once you get to goal voila it's over. I know I'll def have to watch what I eat forever, that's a given. That being said losing your initial weight versus maintaining is a different battle and I'll happily take the latter. Anyways thanks for your feedback. It's great to hear from someone with similar issues who gets it and has found a way to make it work. At least I know I'm not alone which is all that really matters. A lot of folks have had great experiences and good for you, I cheer for you, feel ecstatic (I really really do) when I see your numbers and when you post your progress pics and hope that will be me soon. My experience might be different from yours and that's fine, it doesn't take away from your reality. There is no absolute VSG narrative, we all have different stories. And really this isn't some sort of public trial where I need to prove myself for you to believe what I say. 'Well you didn't do xyz....Huh? How do you know? Who are you to say? Feel or think whatever but your opinion is your opinion not fact, respectfully state it as such if you contribute. Anyways anyone with similar issues can feel free to DM me as your perspective and advice is always appreciated and would love to stay connected. I think it's time to take this to the pros & do some tests. I've said what I need to say and won't be expounding on this any more, it's a wrap for me. Thanks everyone ????
  5. Disabledaccount

    1.5 years out, only 40% loss, Devastated

    @@BLERDgirl Yes indeed, it appears the rules are different for some and it's crazy because you'd think it'd be the opposite for people with high BMIs/life long obese people. With all the research I did before I never saw this. That's why I'm so disappointed and angry at myself, deep in my gut I knew something was off throughout my journey. Maybe general guidelines weren't enough? I wished I had pushed harder to get a 2nd opinion and do further testing to figure out the problem, I could have made adjustments earlier. Now it feels like making up for lost time. I don't use Fitness Pal, I prefer the interface of Lose It but if you have a blog you can DM. And it's not just about the scale, I tracked my weight, took measurement and took pictures of my face and body. Dress size started at 24 and it's now 18/20 depending on the brand. I remember buying a smaller size shirt after surgery thinking I'd be able to wear it soon, maybe it was 1x and it took almost a year for it to fit. Same thing with my face, it's thinned out a little recently but nothing drastic. I'm not being cute or modest, physically I don't look very different. I don't get winded as much but I'm still carrying a lot of weight. And it's not just about numbers, I had some fun little NSV like being able to wear heels and nope I still can't comfortably wear them. It's still excruciating with the amount of weight bearing down at my feet. I'm young, single, don't have kids so yeah I wanted to get healthier before it was too late but it was really about looking better, feeling better, more confidence to put myself out etc. At this point, I don't even know what to expect time wise and feels like im going through this journey with no idea when the end will be in sight.
  6. Disabledaccount

    1.5 years out, only 40% loss, Devastated

    @@angry That's interesting, your story is quite similar to mine. Dropped 22 pounds on the 2 week liquid diet. It literally just came off. That's why I was so shocked after surgery when the scale wouldn't budge. Ok stalls, ok more Water, ok more Protein, okay exercise, do this okay, do that okay but barley anything. The weight literally came off pound for pound. Over and over I raised concerns at checkups/support groups and posted about things not feeling right, shouldn't I be losing more and it was always this how dare you question the sleeve tone. Went to nutritionist, therapist got suggestions continued to follow up and it was always be patient, it'll happen. Even earlier this year, this feeling of frustration started to intensify and tried to rev things again. I was taking a picture of everything I ate and sending it to a nutritionist to evaluate and make recommendations. Around that time is when I started adding in personal training for a boost. If I had just heard you know what not everyone has a honeymoon period, you might never see any major dips and not everyone reaches goal within 2 years, I would have mentally prepared and saved myself the mental anguish. But to wait for something to come month after month, not see it, voice concern and feel like you're talking to a brick wall, surely you can understand why I'm angry. You've been obese your entire life, fat shamed, told to eat less, stop being lazy so you get your stomach sleeved, can't even eat how you used to, you're more active than you ever were and you're still obese. After a while, it was like screw it, I'm done, went into a deep depression and old habits crept back in. Honestly don't think I'd be up for surgery again unless I really can't move the needle with diet any longer. I'll discuss with my surgeon when we meet in a few months but I'm just going to go back the basics. Right now, I'm going through the stages of grief and unpacking my anger at the shitty hand I've been dealt, I just need hear I'm not crazy and im not the only one not shedding tons of weight. Now it's on to the acceptance that my journey is not normal and I'm just going to go into robot mode, make my checklist and do what I need to do. I'm not giving this mental space anymore, if it happens, it happens. It's been almost 2 years of mental torture and I am DONE
  7. Disabledaccount

    1.5 years out, only 40% loss, Devastated

    Thank you so much for hearing me. I appreciate your feedback and will talk to my surgeon at my next appointment. This is the point I've been trying to make I have never had the luxury of being thin. I wasn't one of those folks who gained weight as I got older or had kids. That's why time meant so much to me as I feel like I've missed out on so much. Did I expect to lose it all in one go? Of course not but at least not at a snails pace.Also obesity runs in the family. Is it my destiny to be fat? To go through all this and still not even have close to 'normal' results. Hell i'm still at some people's starting weight. Sure I'll buck up and keep going. What choice do I have? but the disappointment is not something thats just going to go away. I had too much riding on this.
  8. Disabledaccount

    1.5 years out, only 40% loss, Devastated

    @@MichiganChic Thanks for the feedback. Yup going back to my Stage III diet plan and going to see the nutritionist and tweak my eating which is all I can do at this point. I'm done stressing about goals as apparently my expectations were too high. I've gotten it out, said my piece and am going focus more high protein and make the necessary adjustments, where the scales lands is where it lands. I'm done agonizing over this.
  9. Disabledaccount

    1.5 years out, only 40% loss, Devastated

    @@Sharon1964 @@Sharon1964 Where did it say I didn't like suggestions I got from folks so I dismissed them? Yes, people go with what they know but my point is I would go to these support groups month after month trying to express the atypical experience I was having and it was like an echo chamber. It was the sleeve works, if you're not seeing results then do this rather than hey maybe this works differently for people. Your experience is not mine and mine is not yours. That's what drove me crazy because to be in the puréed food phase and not seeing major drops? Really? It's like when you feel something is wrong in your gut and you go to the doctor and you're initially dismissed then you do further testing and it reveals you have a tumor. I was doing what I was supposed to be doing but the honeymoon period never materialized and I've gone between beating up myself and fearing the surgery didn't work and the weight wasn't going to come off throughout my journey. Of course, I expected rapid weight loss at some point why else would I have had my stomach cut out? To do worse than I did when I did Weight Watchers? (lost 32 pounds in 4 months the 1st time I did it) I started at well over 300 pounds discussed expectations with my surgeon and he estimated that most folks complete the journey 2 years out. I didn't meet a single expectation during the entire process, even my surgeon is disappointed (He finally admitted at my last check up that my results were not typical and suggested a duodenal switch) I don't even think I'd lost up to 40 pounds at the 6 months mark. It has literally been a tooth and nail fight peppered with so many stalls. For someone who started at a high BMI? C'mon. That's why I angry and frustrated is 1) If it was going to be this slow I ultimately feel like I could have lost 62 (I use my weight going into surgery so isn't even 80) in 1.8 months without the surgery. Im starting to have regrets 2) If I had a burst of weight loss I would be at a lower weight, not depressed about the pace and more motivated as I've seen results and believe in the program and more compelled to comply. Also life would just be freaking easier? I mean working out at 220 pounds vs 260 is easier no? I've already wasted most of my youth being obese and getting a boost would have helped. Meeting goal in 2 years as opposed to 3 matters deeply to me. I am tired of being fat, self conscious & uncomfortable. Sure I've dropped some dress sizes but I pretty much look the same. And goal is still so far away and I don't even know how much longer it's going to take. I have had a tough journey, agonized about this internally for months and need to vent, get it out of my system and move forward.
  10. Disabledaccount

    1.5 years out, only 40% loss, Devastated

    It’s sort of like the Expectations vs Reality scene in the 500 Days of Summer. The hopefulness and optimism I’ve had has been slowly eaten away by this long arduous climb while seeing others with similar stats zip by you. It’s soul crushing! Not to be dramatic but I would almost prefer being where I was and clueless about VSG than learning about the procedure, feeling some hope and excitement about finally losing the weight I’ve struggled with my entire life and live at a normal weight. My goal weight isn’t even that low I’ve just never been under 200 that’s how I arrived at that number. Medically, I’m sure it’s lower so I still have a long way to go. Meanwhile, I thought I’d be maintaining 2 years out. I think I just have to properly grieve how everything played out and have a plan to move forward given my reality.
  11. Disabledaccount

    1.5 years out, only 40% loss, Devastated

    Sure so I’m going to lump a couple of answers in one post: 1. I followed the program to the T in the early phases but when I never saw any of the weight loss in the 6 months glory period, I was shell shocked. Every time, I would go to my check up, my surgeon seemed disappointed and would ask me to eat less and stick to 500 calories. I start to become more and more discouraged and depressed I thought what’s the point of sticking to the plan, feeling starved and not seeing any benefits? As time progressed and weight loss trickled to a standing still, I stopped being vigilant. The only thing I kept up was exercising as loose skin is my big fear. 2. I have the so called sleeve of steel. I’ve only thrown up twice and this was earlier on when I was learning to chew slowly. Right now, I feel I can eat anything and I have (pizza, burger, fries, chocolate etc). The hunger has returned and taking a diet supplement to help but I don’t always feel the restriction. I just started tracking again and I’m eating around 1200-1400 calories a day (E.g Yesterdays macros Fat 57g, Carbs 103g, Protein 104g, Saturdays – Fat 46g, Carbs 69g, Protein 102g, Friday – Fat 38g, Carbs 90g, Protein 66g). And snacking is a problem particularly emotional eating. I’ve always loved carbs (but have switched to wheat and eat smaller portions but I still eat it) and the cravings haven’t gone away – chips, crackers, nuts popcorn. I can stick to the plan during the day but when I’m home alone with the TV on it’s hard 3. Also getting in Water has always being a problem, in the beginning it just hurt and made me nauseous. Now it’s still something I struggle with. I easily gave up soda and haven’t had any in 2 years but I still want some flavor so will drink diluted lemonade or juices occasionally. I’ve recently started using Crystal Light again to up intake 4. I have an office job and drive to and from work but yes I exercise. I do 1 hour of a high intensity workout program (similar to Crossfit) so cardio to warmup, weights, lunges, burpees, ab exercises etc. 3-4 times a week. Have sprinkled in sporadic personal training sessions over the course of the year as those are expensive. I will say I’m not a fan of cardio and prefer strength training. 5. I’m on my 2nd Fitbit and I’ve been using them for over a year now to track steps and motivate me to walk more. Exercise is something I tackled easily and earlier on (around 3 months out) and that’s why I’ve been so upset as I’ve seen people lose without even trying. I will say though working out this hard tends to increase my appetite 6. I used to go the bariatric support group that the hospital holds but haven’t been since last fall as I just got sick of the self-congratulatory BS. At first, it was great to hear success stories, get tips and inspiration but I never felt heard. Any time I tried to bring up my issues, everyone was quick to throw suggestions at me (drink more water, eat more protein) or tell me to be patient, I’ll see results soon. Same with when I went to a therapist. Hearing this just made me antsy months after months of barely seeing results. As you can see I am not perfect. Could I do better, yes. But ultimately I feel like I’m not being heard. It’s almost like people are fanatical about VSG (hell I would be too if I had such amazing successes some of you have had) and don’t want to read about negative experiences. All I want folks to admit is that maybe the surgery doesn’t work for everyone. Maybe you can do all you were supposed to and still fail. Maybe some people never reach goal. Am I supposed to believe that over 1.5 years is when I’m going to start experience rapid weight loss? Here’s the thing if I had at least had a streak when pounds easily fell off I could live with it and say the surgery was worth it. to not have easily even lost 10-20 pounds post op when I was eating pureed food? No major numbers during the 6 months post-op period of rapid weight loss? I always mention this but after I was dismissed from the hospital I gained 8 pounds from the IV fluids. Of course, I weighed myself with excitement every day when I got home and would you believe it took me over 3 weeks to lose that weight. Can you at least admit that is a difficult thing? That is what causes me to break down and fear maybe being thin is not in the cards for me.
  12. Where did you start? Where are you now and how long have you been maintaining? Obviously everyone is different but curious to know you how your sleeve journey was.
  13. So almost 2 years out, weight loss has been very slow and I've been very frustrated and depressed about it and have allowed bad habits to start to creep back in. I need to get back on track and in going through my food logs I'm starting to notice that I have a snacking problem. I can easily stay on track during the day and keep between 200-300 for breakfast/lunch but once I get home it's like all bets are off. I can easily put away 500-600 just grazing on everything from string cheese, nuts, crackers, popcorn. I need to reel it in and get back on track as I'm still 85 pounds from goal. Tips? Advice?
  14. There seems to be a lot of debate on here about this, some are strict about this and some more lenient. I believe it's important to develop new and healthy habits but the thought of never eating some foods again seems too extreme. I mean in my hey day I could easily devour half a pizza myself, if I can now have one occasionally while sticking to my meal plan isn't that fine? I'd like to still be able to have treats. I'm still healing so haven't experienced this yet but in 6 months, if i'm staying within my calorie range and eating healthy foods 90-95% of the time, i think i'd be okay with that. Curious what people think especially those that are far out in this journey?
  15. I have relaxed hair and i'm thinking of getting a weave or braids before surgery so hair is one less thing to deal with as my body tries to adapt to the surgery......also so i dont have to deal with hair shedding everyday. What did you do? What do you recommend?
  16. Had really high expectations about VSG and the results I would get. I was excited, motivated and optimistic at the start of the process but my slow weight loss (36 pounds at 6 months postop) and slow physical transformation has left me depressed, feeling trapped and I feel like the surgery is failing so for the past weeks have said f it and started to eat whatever and eating past the point of being full. Oddly enough I'm still keeping up with my workouts. I feel like if I'm doing what I'm supposed to do but not seeing results then why bother and from where I started (check my stats) I thought I'd easily lose 50 pounds in 3 months. Even worse I visit the site I and see incredible numbers and I want to scream. I'm mentally exhausted, checked out of the process, in a dark hole right now and fear this weight is never going to come off. Life really sucks right now
  17. Feeling bones I've never felt before. Knees, hip bones, wrists hell even my fingers feel skinner. Also the simple things like getting easier to get in and out of bed, being more mobile. It's the little things I tell you.
  18. Disabledaccount

    Whats your "full" signal?

    Runny nose. Also my stomach feels tight like uh uh you can't have another bite.
  19. OMG ever since surgery i've been letting these rip roaring farts out. Not only that but the smell? Lord have mercy!!!!! Even the few times i've pooped it's been equally as nasty. What gives?
  20. I cannot believe it but it seems my thighs are no longer touching and rubbing together when I walk. I just started subtly noticing it this week. I'm so thrilled that I don't have to suffer through another summer with chub rub. I still have a ways to go but this and not sweating as much anymore are my favorite changes so far. Looking forward to more great changes as the weight continues to come off.
  21. So I was walking down the corridor and this lady I've never met was like have you lost weight? What have you been doing? I'm a pretty slow loser so was happy someone noticed but walked away feeling humiliated and self conscious. How many people had noticed the fat girl in the office? What had they being saying behind my back: it's stuff like this that has always made me self conscious and introverted. I still have a ways to go with the weight loss and worried about dealing with more attention as the weight loss becomes more visible. I don't have problem receiving compliments but I think it'll be a painful reminder of how big I used to be and the social stigma that came with it.
  22. Which are you losing faster? The scale has been slow and often fluctuates but i've steadily lost 10 inches from my waist postop? Which measurement matters more? Does it matter how you're losing?
  23. Soda! Haven't touched it since surgery nor do I want to. Diluted lemonade & apple juice seems to do the trick for me.
  24. Hey Vets, I'm struggling with setting weight loss goals, I mean I know my end goal but would like to set mini goals throughout my journey. It would be helpful to know how much weight you lost in the 1st year and how close you were to goal after the 1st year. Thanks

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