So a little bit of a backstory. I've been overweight my entire life, from child to adult. I have never know what it's like to be thin. Yo yo'ed all my life and was never succesful and unfortunately I think there's a genetic element. Almost everyone on my mom's side is obese.

When I started researching VSG I was around 330 and seeing the amazing results on this site helped me make the decision. I was so excited to get the procedure and go on this journey. Going into surgery I was around 322 and given how high I started I had very lofty expectations. I easily expected to lose 50 pounds in 3 months. Ha, as the saying goes the best laid plans.

I'm 1.5 years out and let me tell you at no stage (other than the 2 week liquid diet where I lost 22 pounds) have a experienced any rapid weight loss. It's almost as if my body doesn't want to let go. I'm now around 262 pounds and let me tell you it's been a slow arduous process. Any time I think of how I expected things to turn out and how they actually are I just break down and cry. I'm still obese, sure I've lost a couple of dress sizes but the gut is still there. And it's not even about hitting the exact goal weight, it's the fact that I'm very big. I've been wallowing in depression for a while and keep thinking to myself why is God punishing me? If there's one thing I've wanted my entire life, it was to be normal sized and I viewed VSG as my last chance. Of course my dedication has waned, though I still work out 3x times a week. It's sad particularly when I read the amazing results others have had on here but I'm starting to think this might be it. Maybe just do the best I can and be happy with the 60 pound loss.

Man, I'm absolutely devastated. And the thing is I'm one the younger side and didn't have health issues other than high BP so this was more about aesthetics, losing the weight being more confident to pursue relationships(single, no kids)/be more social. Now it seems like I'm in a holding pattern and I'm alive but not really living.

Edited July 6, 201511 yr by startingoveryetagain

I am so sorry to hear that you are discouraged. It must be so frustrating for you.

I know you are aggravated but I bet that with some help you can continue to lose although it won't be as rapid as you would hope.

First, have you met with a NUT recently? What about following up with your surgeon and PCP. Are you keeping an eye on your labs?

Are you still getting in your Water (at least 64 oz) and Protein in every day? What is your protein goal?

Are you exercising regularly?

What other resources are you using? Have you attended support groups? Do you have a therapist?

I hope that you are able to find some confidence in yourself and are able to use your sleeve to reach your goals.

Keep us posted in what you are doing.

84lbs is still a huge loss. As long as you are losing and not gaining that is a victory even if the loss is slow.

I have not had surgery yet, so I don't have any veteran advice but I am sure others will chime in with suggestions.

@

I understand the tears and the feeling of devastation. I hope you can give yourself credit and acknowledge you have lost 85 pounds. It is not how much or how quickly you drop weight. It is the FACT you have lost weight.

It sounds like you want more out of this and to be more of a participant in life.There is no need to give up on this process. You have been brave enough to lose 85 pounds. Being a bariatric patient never end's it's all about the choices we make. Are you brave enough to fight for your self confidence, a relationship and to live your amazing life? You very much deserve to have all the things you have mentioned.

We are here in you corner fighting with you. Be brave...press on .....work your program.

I'm so sorry your road has been so difficult, and you're feeling like all your dreams have been for nothing. You really touched my heart when you spoke of how you were so hopeful and expectant of a thinner future as a post op. We can all relate to that desire.

But please don't discount the amazing accomplishment of how far you've already come. Go back again in your memory and tap into that pre op mindset one more time. Pre surgery, could you have ever imagined yourself losing as much weight as you already have now? You're only 1.5 years out and have lost a lot of weight. I know you're not at goal, not where you want to be, but you have come a long way. That's something to be proud of, don't you think?

It's not too late to begin again and having youth on your side makes achieving your end goal all that more obtainable. Please don't give up and believe you have to live in shame. You are not a failure! You were right to come back here for support and we'll be here to help you. Your tool is still there. It can help you, but you've got to get your head back in the game and quit beating yourself up. You're worth it!

Edited July 6, 201511 yr by The Candidate

What does your diet consist of?
How many calories/carbs are you consuming a day?
Protein?

Do you log your meals?

How much Water are you drinking?
Do you measure your portions?
What type of exercise are you doing and how long do you do it?
What are you doing when you are not exercising (aka sitting at work, walking at work, etc.)?
Do you wear a fitbit or other fitness tracking device?
Are you taking pictures of your body along with your measurements?

My questions are not to find errors or point any fingers at what you are doing, please do not take them that way. I am simply asking these questions to see if there is an obvious tweak that can be made to help you along with your goal.

For me, tracking until I hit goal was a must. Even now I measure my food a few times a week and track my trend of calories. I have found that wearing my fitbit motivates me to walk a little farther each day, especially those days I don't have time to train. I do weigh myself mutliple times a day, but the number on my scale does not define me. I "judge" my progress on the way my clothes fit and how I feel when I move my body.

Tell us what you are doing and perhaps we can help you. You have done great so far, so DO NOT give up. You have absolutely nothing to lose by pushing yourself a little harder EXCEPT a few more pounds.

You CAN do this. I have no doubt.

Definitely look at your Protein and carbs. My doctor told me at my 9 month check up to be careful because this is when the carbs start sneaking their way back into the diet. I looked at my intake and it was happening and my weight loss was very slow at the time. I made adjustments and refocused on protein and I'm having one of the best months in regards to weight loss. It's not too late to turn this around.

This has to be so frustrating for you. We all know and understand your dream, and have all "been alive but not living".

I am also interested in the answers to the questions the others have posted. Until you honestly answer them, (for yourself) there is no way to know what's going on.

I have learned a few things about myself along the way, and one of them is that my body is not "normal" and does not respond to diet the way I thought it should. I had to eat very little very consistently to lose the weight I lost. The minute I increased my calories even a little, I went into maintenance. I do not have room for indiscretion - it ALWAYS shows up on the scale. I have to be vigilant. It takes a lot of self-honesty from me...and I think that's the number factor to my success.

So, first, I had to find out what it takes to lose weight, and second, I had to hold myself accountable to do it. I'm in no way implying you are not honest or doing what you should be, only telling you my experience. That was a bitter pill for me to swallow, and some days it's still bitter!

I do think WLS can fail for a variety of reasons, and it's not always the person's fault. We all do the best we can with what we have. I would suggest making an appointment with your surgeon. Maybe he/she can offer something. I'm rooting for you! I don't think it's over for you!

Sure so I’m going to lump a couple of answers in one post:

1. I followed the program to the T in the early phases but when I never saw any of the weight loss in the 6 months glory period, I was shell shocked. Every time, I would go to my check up, my surgeon seemed disappointed and would ask me to eat less and stick to 500 calories. I start to become more and more discouraged and depressed I thought what’s the point of sticking to the plan, feeling starved and not seeing any benefits? As time progressed and weight loss trickled to a standing still, I stopped being vigilant. The only thing I kept up was exercising as loose skin is my big fear.

2. I have the so called sleeve of steel. I’ve only thrown up twice and this was earlier on when I was learning to chew slowly. Right now, I feel I can eat anything and I have (pizza, burger, fries, chocolate etc). The hunger has returned and taking a diet supplement to help but I don’t always feel the restriction. I just started tracking again and I’m eating around 1200-1400 calories a day (E.g Yesterdays macros Fat 57g, Carbs 103g, Protein 104g, Saturdays – Fat 46g, Carbs 69g, Protein 102g, Friday – Fat 38g, Carbs 90g, Protein 66g). And snacking is a problem particularly emotional eating. I’ve always loved carbs (but have switched to wheat and eat smaller portions but I still eat it) and the cravings haven’t gone away – chips, crackers, nuts popcorn. I can stick to the plan during the day but when I’m home alone with the TV on it’s hard

3. Also getting in Water has always being a problem, in the beginning it just hurt and made me nauseous. Now it’s still something I struggle with. I easily gave up soda and haven’t had any in 2 years but I still want some flavor so will drink diluted lemonade or juices occasionally. I’ve recently started using Crystal Light again to up intake

4. I have an office job and drive to and from work but yes I exercise. I do 1 hour of a high intensity workout program (similar to Crossfit) so cardio to warmup, weights, lunges, burpees, ab exercises etc. 3-4 times a week. Have sprinkled in sporadic personal training sessions over the course of the year as those are expensive. I will say I’m not a fan of cardio and prefer strength training.

5. I’m on my 2nd Fitbit and I’ve been using them for over a year now to track steps and motivate me to walk more. Exercise is something I tackled easily and earlier on (around 3 months out) and that’s why I’ve been so upset as I’ve seen people lose without even trying. I will say though working out this hard tends to increase my appetite

6. I used to go the bariatric support group that the hospital holds but haven’t been since last fall as I just got sick of the self-congratulatory BS. At first, it was great to hear success stories, get tips and inspiration but I never felt heard. Any time I tried to bring up my issues, everyone was quick to throw suggestions at me (drink more water, eat more protein) or tell me to be patient, I’ll see results soon. Same with when I went to a therapist. Hearing this just made me antsy months after months of barely seeing results.

As you can see I am not perfect. Could I do better, yes. But ultimately I feel like I’m not being heard. It’s almost like people are fanatical about VSG (hell I would be too if I had such amazing successes some of you have had) and don’t want to read about negative experiences. All I want folks to admit is that maybe the surgery doesn’t work for everyone. Maybe you can do all you were supposed to and still fail. Maybe some people never reach goal. Am I supposed to believe that over 1.5 years is when I’m going to start experience rapid weight loss?

Here’s the thing if I had at least had a streak when pounds easily fell off I could live with it and say the surgery was worth it. to not have easily even lost 10-20 pounds post op when I was eating pureed food? No major numbers during the 6 months post-op period of rapid weight loss? I always mention this but after I was dismissed from the hospital I gained 8 pounds from the IV fluids. Of course, I weighed myself with excitement every day when I got home and would you believe it took me over 3 weeks to lose that weight.

Can you at least admit that is a difficult thing? That is what causes me to break down and fear maybe being thin is not in the cards for me.

I can relate to what you are going through. At my highest I was 336 and I was terrified that if I got the sleeve I would start losing weight and wouldnt be able to stop. Imagine my surprise when less than a year after surgery, my weight loss came to a screeching halt. I thought that I was eating well, and I was exercising more than anyone I know but I stopped losing. In retrospect what I thought was eating well usually consisted of a venti white chocolate latte from starbucks with 6 shots of expresso, chased with wine later that night. Im not saying that you are doing any of these things, I am telling you the things I was doing that I didnt count. In Nov of 2014 I weighed 232 and I thought wow this is as good as it gets? That sucks. Well I can tell you that I dont lose weight as quickly as other people, I just dont. My aunt got sleeved weeks before me, she can eat way more food than I can and never goes to the gym, we are the same weight. I have a friend that got bypass 6 months ago, she weighs 230. I have been hovering between 205-215 and struggling to get under 200. For me giving up alcohol is huge. I think it is really easy to drink calories and not even think about it. Even though you may not lose weight as easily/quickly as others at the end of the day it all comes down to diet and exercise, I just thought with the sleeve I would need less of both.

It’s sort of like the Expectations vs Reality scene in the 500 Days of Summer. The hopefulness and optimism I’ve had has been slowly eaten away by this long arduous climb while seeing others with similar stats zip by you. It’s soul crushing! Not to be dramatic but I would almost prefer being where I was and clueless about VSG than learning about the procedure, feeling some hope and excitement about finally losing the weight I’ve struggled with my entire life and live at a normal weight. My goal weight isn’t even that low I’ve just never been under 200 that’s how I arrived at that number. Medically, I’m sure it’s lower so I still have a long way to go. Meanwhile, I thought I’d be maintaining 2 years out. I think I just have to properly grieve how everything played out and have a plan to move forward given my reality.

What about going back to 2 protein drinks and one small meal? Even at only 6 weeks out, I stall when I eat 3 meals and have to keep going back to drinks with one meal in order to lose. Don't beat yourself up. Get back on track and be proud you haven't gained. You've lost a lot. Surgery isn't a fix all but is definitely a great tool and it will always work if you work it. (((Hugs!)))

I was definitely a slower loser. I stalled out at about 9 months post op. At that point I lost 10lbs preop diet and 43lbs post op. I got pregnant 11 months post op. I followed my plan according to my dr and Nut. I logged on MFP and worked out so much I developed plantar fasciitis. I did not drink sodas or through a straw LMAO... (That's a big question around here). To say it was not frustrating would not be true. Some people make it to goal in 9-10 months post op. I was not close. My starting weight was 267lbs. Obviously seeing the numbers go down is a huge incentive and my NUT measured me at every appt. After I had my baby I noticed it was even harder to get the weight off, my appetite increased, and I was having extreme heartburn. I consulted with a new bariatric dr and he sent me for Barium Swallow. It was determined I had large hiatal hernia and confirmed Gerd. I did not have that preop. So then he sent me for EDG. There is was determined my sleeve was twisted (not sure why this wasn't seen on barium test) and that my food is backing up... Anyways the dr feels that the sleeve is not functioning properly, as I was in compliance (as document through my post op nutrition appts) and that I will benefit from a revision. He said he could resleeve me, although it is hard to determine if the gerd is from the hernia or the shape of my sleeve. I am also am a bit gun shy of sleeve at this point because I do not feel like it worked for ME. In my heart even without my pregnancy I do not believe I would have met my goal. I didn't have a honeymoon phase. Of course the 1st month was huge but after that I averaged a pound a week. I felt like OMG I had surgery for that? So I totally get where you are coming from.

I just started tracking again and I’m eating around 1200-1400 calories a day (E.g Yesterdays macros Fat 57g, Carbs 103g, Protein 104g, Saturdays – Fat 46g, Carbs 69g, Protein 102g, Friday – Fat 38g, Carbs 90g, Protein 66g). And snacking is a problem particularly emotional eating. I’ve always loved carbs (but have switched to wheat and eat smaller portions but I still eat it) and the cravings haven’t gone away – chips, crackers, nuts popcorn. I can stick to the plan during the day but when I’m home alone with the TV on it’s hard

This is your problem, IMO. You are eating a bit more than I am maintaining on. On another board that I'm on, I am maintaining on more calories than most of the other members except the daily cross fitters/runners. I believe that I maintain on more than most because I am a martial arts instructor and put in 15-17k steps a day, not including the classes I teach/attend each day.

Your carbs are high for a sleever. (Again, my opinion.) I always try to make sure my protein far outweighs my carbs and I usually eat around 1200 calories, most of which are protein.

Carbs cause cravings and hunger which might attribute to your snacking.

I know I am not giving you the touchy feely post you want, but I do think I am giving "facts" to help you get back on track -- facts you probably already know, but might need someone else to point out.

I definitely think you can fix this, it's just up to you to put it into action. Can you try to do a full week of all protein/no carbs? You might surprise yourself.

I honestly believe what happens to some people is that the expectation of losing is higher than the outcome. Especially in the 1st year. I remember being so highly irritated with the fact that people would say oh I lost the first 50-75lbs so easy, now I have to fight for every pound. Some of those same people would be the ones asking can I eat this, can I eat that 5 weeks post op. It seems that some have to fight for every pound in the beginning. That is where the question becomes is the surgery effective for everyone. Obviously, we are all different and I do believe surgery can fail for more than no compliance. Although, for me too lose I have to be very low carb and very low calorie. Pre and post surgery.

I agree with what others have posted. It is a struggle for anyone to lose weight (with or without WLS) and I understand your frustration. I just tend to approach something like this as a problem to solve with some concrete adjustments rather than giving in to feeling hopeless. You have lost weight and will lose more.

I agree with Lipstick Ladies observation about carbs.

You also mentioned diluted lemonade and juices. If you are not getting enough fluids, drinking fluids with calories and sugar is probably not helpful. I know how hard it is to get enough fluids (it is my personal challenge/focus area right now). Try setting some short term smaller Fluid goals throughout the day. Maybe when you have the urge to snack drink at least 8 oz of Water before you allow yourself to get a snack. Then, if you still have the urge for a snack make sure it's low-carb/high Protein.

Also, even though you didn't find therapy helpful before, you might want to consider seeing someone again. for another perspective.