spiralling downward... please read

[jennynoblemiller 8]

Yesterday was my 45th birthday. I am 13 days out. Since my mom is in town, my husband took me to a fancy hotel (thank you Hotwire).

When we got to the room, there was a bottle of champagne and truffles waiting for me.I gave the truffles to my daughter, my mom and husband drank the champagne, but I impulsively had a few sips.Felt fine, unfortunately. I stopped.

Then came dinner. I had three raw oysters, one and a half shrimp, and a half cup of really rich chowder. I felt scared. It wasn't fun. I am not ready to eat at restaurants!!!! I didn't get this sleeve to eat richer food than I did before.

Back in the room, a few hours later, i got hungry. I had my shake. A couple hours later I was hungry again! I . Called room service and asked for Soup. All they had was an onion soup which tasted like it had pureed potato, and possibly some cream. No cheese or bread, but still. Not a bariatric shake. I ate the small bowl easily, then began to feel terrible about myself. Am I going to gain everything back? Why don't I feel sick?

I'm going to the doctor today and to see my NUT about the actual next phase of my diet.

I'm scared! I just read someone's post about being stuffed after two tablespoons of cottage cheese. Have I ruined my sleeve?

My period started last night, and I know that contributes to the hunger, but the bad choices were mine. How do we live with regret? What are the repercussions?

Please tell me your stories, your advice.

Jenny

[Roo101769 742]

At 13 days out that does seem like a bit too much to consume. I was only on purees or maybe scrambled egg at that point. I don't think your stomach has healed nearly enough to start digesting even semi solid foods. But....if you did not feel physically sick you may have gotten away with it. ( this time) Don't tempt fate and do it again though would be my advice. You are seriously risking your health, not just if you lose weight or not. That all being said the up side of it is you seem to have at least some mental control going on. Do not let anyone try to fool you or tell you otherwise...This is a HUGE mental battle, not just a physical adjustment. The fact that you gave away the truffles, brought a shake, had guilt...All good signs you are at least trying to think before you act. I had a hotel birthday party for my daughter for her 5th birthday because I was only 10 days post op myself. I took my shake, some applesauce, refried Beans and the like with me. It gave me variety and something to eat without worrying about having to chose something. You aren't ready for regular diet choices, so don't put yourself in a situation you have to make any. Make sure you have some variety of items you CAN consume now readily available. This will save you a WORLD of guilt and issues down the road, trust me. It only gets harder as you progress to solid foods. Just because we "can" eat something certainly does not mean we ever should. food is not our enemy. Going in with that approach will set you up for failure. But you have to realize food is no longer your comfort, your friend, your lover, your reason for being. Food is to live. Yes you can enjoy food again, but make every effort to enjoy food that is appropriate for your health and the stage of the planyou are on. One more thing....Has your family been supporting you? Given the champagne and truffels and the rich dinner I get a feeling that, just perhaps, they all need schooled in the reality of VSG and life post op. I don't want to assume anything, but it appears there wasn't much thought put into where you are right now by whoever set the whole thing up. Your life does go on, you will always be you. But they need to realize adjustments have to be made so you can be the BEST you that you can be!!! Anyway, it is in your past now. You cannot change what has happened. All you can do is focus on what is ahead of you and move forward. Hopefully your surgeon or NUT can help you work towards healthier choices for your future.

[gamergirl 4,609]

shakes and Soups don't fill up your tummy like solid Protein does. They do "go right through you" so it's normal not to feel full with those. Don't worry about it, just keep to the diet progression you were prescribed and once your stomach heals, and you move on to solids, you will feel the restriction.

[Debi Amador 120]

Yeah sounds like you made the wrong choices then but you need to remember "Today is a new day" There is nothing you can do to change yesterday so all you can do is learn from it and make better choices tomorrow. We all have slip ups, we live in the real world where things aren't perfect and we can't expect ourselves to be prefect.

Just move on and try not to do it again! Good Luck jennynoblemiller!

[McButterpants 2,846]

The types of foods could have led to the additional hunger by way of acid in your stomach - often time new sleevers think they are feeling hunger, but it's really acid. Many get a prescription for a proton pump inhibitor. For me, I can now tell the difference between acid and real hunger.

I agree with Roo above...you should follow your doctor/NUT diet. Don't tempt fate - it's not worth it. You could get sick, but you could also injure yourself.

The mental part of this process was so much more than I expected - it is really the hard part and required the most work for me. I had to address issues that I didn't want to confront - why did I overeat? Why did I plan to eat by myself?

[deedadumble 1,033]

Are you seeing a therapist? I highly recommend it if you aren't. Eating raw oysters less than 2 weeks out is dangerous and I would think that choice alone verges on self-harm. I had to have several months of sessions with my therapist to learn to deal with self-sabotaging behavior.

[KarenSt 35]

Happy Birthday! To me the problem in this situation is your husband. He clearly either does not support and/or understand the changes you need to make in your life to be successful and healthy. A hotel stay & restaurants less than two weeks post-op is setting you up for failure. In fact, it's outright sabotage. He needs to pave the road for you, not put obstacles in your way. A considerate, supportive husband would never ordered champagne & truffles to the room and if they showed up without his prior knowledge he would've ordered their immediate removal. You made a life change & need to find different ways of celebrating. If your husband isn't supportive of that it will be that much harder for you. You deserve better & need to demand better for and of yourself. I agree with the therapist recommendation. In addition is there a bariatric support group you can go to? You need all the positive support you can get. Good luck!!

[gamergirl 4,609]

Happy Birthday! To me the problem in this situation is your husband. He clearly either does not support and/or understand the changes you need to make in your life to be successful and healthy. A hotel stay & restaurants less than two weeks post-op is setting you up for failure. In fact, it's outright sabotage. He needs to pave the road for you, not put obstacles in your way. A considerate, supportive husband would never ordered champagne & truffles to the room and if they showed up without his prior knowledge he would've ordered their immediate removal. You made a life change & need to find different ways of celebrating. If your husband isn't supportive of that it will be that much harder for you. You deserve better & need to demand better for and of yourself. I agree with the therapist recommendation. In addition is there a bariatric support group you can go to? You need all the positive support you can get. Good luck!!

I have to disagree with this. The OP had surgery, her husband didn't. It's up t us to control our own behaviors not blame others when we fail.

[KarenSt 35]

Yep, yep. I totally agree and didn't mean to absolve her of all responsibility. At the same time I think this also shows how the kind of support we have can have an impact one way or the other. The program I'm in has a huge emphasis on support systems for that very reason.