Reforming The Fat Girl

[ElyQuint 446]

Today is my last day at the job I had when I had my surgery. When I started there I weighed 288. As I leave I am 195. I've never hidden my surgery. This was a personal decision which is oft debated on this site. As I approach my new job on Monday, I am contemplative of the new relationships I will be building. My new colleagues will not have any awareness of me as the "fat girl". I know I still have a ways to go but the mental fat girl has mostly fallen away. These new folks will see me eat healthy, exercise and lose weight fairly gradually. They won't even require an explanation. I wonder if I will feel compelled to tell them. I am happy with my decision to tell folks about my surgery and I won't debate the choice as its been done here already. But I wonder how long the former fat chick will be my chosen identity? Anyone have any thoughts?

[Kelly Gonzalez 52]

Good luck to you!

[lisacaron 5,075]

@@ElyQuint I totally understand how you feel. For me...I am always who I am. Fat, skinny, blond, red hair. I am me. That includes my surgery, and there are people who do not know about it and I don't feel the need to tell them since they don't me well if they don't know about it

Then there are people who I encounter that don't know me at all, who I am standing with in the cafe at work waiting on line with or in the supermarket or what have you and they are obese and they may make a comment to me and say oh I wish that was enough to fill me up or I wish I could eat healthy like that, and because I am me...I share my story with them and tell them that there are options out there and if I can do it so can they.

There was even a time, when a co-worker who I had not told about my surgery was telling me about her niece who was severely overweight and was now pregnant and in danger of losing yet another pregnancy due to her weight and how she and her family have tried to help her to lose weight etc.and there I was sharing my story all over again.

Then there are those that I just don't feel the need to share with and I just go about my day and my life, and I don't think twice about it

I'll always be me, no matter my size, surgery, hair style, or status. It makes going through life that much easier

[Teachamy 1,042]

As you've let the fat chick go, I think it's time to say goodbye to the formerly fat chick self image too. Allow yourself to be rediscovered unencumbered. You deserve it!

[Jen:) 40]

@@lisacaron, I love this! I am never hesitant to share my story to help or encourage others! The whole reason I had this surgery in the first place is because of two people who were willing to share theirs. One I know and the other I've only "met" via Facebook, but both have been completely open and have inspired my journey!

[marfar7 1,528]

To me, I'm still the "fat girl" I was in 2009 (prior to my lapband). Thought once I got down to within 20 lbs of my goal wt (I'm now 10 from there), I would start to feel different. But I still feel the same. Still see myself as 250 lbs in the mirror.

TMI warning: Last nite, as I was getting ready to have sex with hubby, I undressed in front of the mirror. I saw my saggy belly and started crying. Tried to press it down to c what my belly would look like flat. Hubby walked in. Totally blew me away with "Ur beautiful. And ur NOT fat"

I guess sometime u just need to hear it from someone u luv. It still amazes me that a size 8 jeans fit me (coming from a 22). I don't believe it sometimes, I hafta look at the tag everytime I put them on!

Good luck at ur new job. I'm very open with everyone who'll listen about my wls's (lapband in 2009, sleeve revision 9 mths ago). I have an extremely overweight cousin who's considering the sleeve because I've inspired her.

Edited April 30, 2014 by marfar7

[ElyQuint 446]

Thanks all. Its so interesting that the roles we play are heavily influenced by who we used to be. I was a teen parent until thirty when I realized, uh, not anymore! Then I was a single parent and now I'm the mother of an adult child. All of those people are a part of me. Just like the fat chick.

[NothingUpMySleeve 244]

I started a new job after my sleeve. Also cut my hair and started going by my nickname at work. I just wanted to feel like a fresh start. It's been nice.

[ElyQuint 446]

I started my new job and they don't suspect me at all. They think I'm just a regular old sized person. I've infiltrated the normal sized people club!

I also cut my hair off!

[ElyQuint 446]

They are on to me.

[Sleeveless in seattle 208]

I'm curious...what do you mean?

[ElyQuint 446]

Well one of the women asked me why I eat so little. I guess a yogurt isn't a normal sized lunch. I cannot lie when asked a direct question. So I confessed. It was fun for a lil while though.

[sophie'sChoice 269]

How did they react? Do they treat you differently now? I sure hope not!

[DarbiMolly 188]

I work with a girl that is a size 2-4. She is always on a diet and watches what she eats. BUT she has body image issues just like us. She also has cellulite and hates her saddle bags. Is she beautiful? Yes she is, inside and out, just like all of us.

[JadedMage 39]

I read your first post, I was taken back by something you said. People have debated the choice you made? wow Really?

So have to let on to your new co-workers yet?