I don't take anti depressants and I dont think I am depressed but I do at times struggle with blasts of feeling blue. I wanted to talk about it here because I am trying to understand what is happening to me and think you are all tremendous resources.

What happens is that I get short lasting periods of feeling pretty down. It might last 30 minutes ....extreme case it might last a day. Weird thing is it is never triggered by bad news or some concrete clear reason but there must be some cause. My situation is getting better, not worse but I want it to be gone...lol...So I am asking for advice. I also went through a period of really bad anxiety but that is pretty much better too (ie I get infrequently anxious over things that scare me rather than unknown so I consider that normal)

Counslor I sometimes see thinks it is a sign of growth. I buried alot of pain under obesity and food and now I am wrestling with"meaning of my life" type questions rather than worrying if I will fit in a chair or airplane seat. I have moved up the maslovs needs hierarchy. I think she is right because I do find myself examining my life, eliminating people and activities that are negative and adding people and things that are pleasing. Good stuff but a truckload of change. I find myself working hard to let go of my grown sons and accepting that they need to make their own mistakes (I just ask they make different ones..Haha). I find myself facing that my life is almost unrecognizable from say 5 years ago. It's only partly weight loss related much of this change is age related normal life progression and some of it is me fixing some pretty broken things (work in progress).

My medical doctor thinks it is mostly hormone related. I wake up every night and somtimes have serious sleep issues. She thinks hormone things are triggering adrenal surges which is why I am sometimes wide awake for hours. that is under much better control now but I was up most of Saturday night with a tummy problem and was just depressed all day Sunday. I slept great last njght and feel great emotionally and a little better physically so it was excellent evidence that sleep deprivation can trigger the mood swing. The fact that I am sleeping better in general AND that my little blasts of the blues are reducing is also more evidence for this.

A close friend is absolutely convinced it is hormonal too because of experiences with other women my age. I went through menopause in my early 40s...very young. I have always believed it was triggered by the devastating tragedy of my sister's horrible illness and eventual death. We were like twins...very bonded...and losing her lin 2007 left a hole in my life. Oddly I did not really experience menopausal symptoms until after weight loss. I think my fat was like taking hormone replacement. I don't have hot flashes but do now experience some other menopausal symptoms so it could be that this is absolutely the cause.

Anyway I am not dead set against taking anti depressants except I am not depressed and I don't want to mask symptoms I want to resolve them so my remaining years are the best they can be. Would love to hear how others have experienced this. I look back and I do feel in my heart that I am getting better and more resilient as time goes on. I am less concerned with how others see me and really developing a stronger inner confidence. I hope this means that I will work through this issue too. I am not sure it is weight loss related EXCEPT I know I used to go around pretty numb much of the time and life is in Technicolor these days. It's good, it's GREAT but it's also alot if you know what I mean.

My blood work was last checked just a few months ago and my vit D is good. I also spend quite a bit of time outdoors - horses and farm work! I get your point though, there are alot of factors that "might" contribute to this. right now sleep, dealing with a person in my private life who gives me stress and exercise are my top theories so i continue to work those aggressively.

I also had very sad news from a couple of friends the last week, and while i am trying to not feel the "weight" I kinda do.

Fiddle, I find it interesting that you suffered from a fairly similiar situation as me - the sleep deprivation leading to not feeling 100% the next day. As a woman, it is always said to be my hormones acting up. I assume they didn't try to tell you that it was due to too little estrogen...haha. Anyway, I do wonder if there is a correlation to the massive weight loss? My other theory is that I used to feel miserable but since I felt so physically miserable all the time when i was obese I didn't notice. My standards are much higher now!

Given that we live within 10 miles of each other, I say it is something in the Water. in all seriousness, I have wondered if dropping a large amount of weight has contributed to sleep/mood issues. Not sure. For now, I know exercise keeps my mood in check so will continue that every day.

I would truly like to know that, Fiddleman and Sheryl. I rarely sleep a full night now without waking, tossing and turning, and laying awake. I was always a really deep sleeper but I'm also older now and been under a lot of stress also.

I'm not kidding at all...as a sociologist, it is a well-documented fact that Seattle and surrounding areas are more 'depressed' than many other cities (most others actually) in America. They are still trying to determine why...

I'm not kidding at all...as a sociologist, it is a well-documented fact that Seattle and surrounding areas are more 'depressed' than many other cities (most others actually) in America. They are still trying to determine why...

Because it's gray there all the time?

Ha! Seattle summers are the Best Kept Secret ever! No, controlling for weather, it's still a thing they haven't explained. It's just A Thing. Not for everyone, this is statistics...but it shouldn't be discounted or made light of. We don't know what's going on there... PS: It rains more in NYC than Seattle...

Ha! Seattle summers are the Best Kept Secret ever! No, controlling for weather, it's still a thing they haven't explained. It's just A Thing. Not for everyone, this is statistics...but it shouldn't be discounted or made light of. We don't know what's going on there... PS: It rains more in NYC than Seattle...

Does it really? Rain, I mean. I did not know that. And I LOVE rain. . Of course, I'm moody too! lol

Great thread Cowgirl. I agree that regular exercise helps with mood regulation. I think it has been well-documented by the mental health field at this point.

I too suffer from what I consider to be symptoms of depression including deep sadness for short periods of time and also irritability and anger over minor issues that I wouldn't have reacted to pre-sleeve. I also sometimes have trouble sleeping and use an OTC sleep aid if necessary. I also lost my brother in 2009 with whom I was very close and sometimes I am still overcome with periods of grief.

I think there are probably hormonal factors involved but I feel, for myself, that food is my drug of choice, my best friend, lover and the devil I know (almost in the biblical sense since it has certainly f-d with my head! LOL). But I digress. What I'm ineptly trying to say is that without the self-medication of food I am having to cope with my feelings, good and bad. Their intensity takes me by surprise! I was always numb in my carb-induced stupor before. Now I also get frightened by how differently (better and nicer) I am treated by other people now and I get overwhelmed sometimes. It is a huge transformation in every sense and yet I am still me, struggling with my food addiction and sometimes filled with self-loathing for giving in to it.

I too really have a good and happy, comfortable life so I can't complain and have no immediate reason to feel sad. Maybe it's just the season changing or my age/hormonal state or this 21st Century world we live in with all the stress it brings.

I wish I could go horseback riding! I love horses!

P.s. Love Seattle. Great city!

My dog wakes me up every morning about 4:30 am. She is old, and wants breakfast and needs to be let out (she now pees on the floor before scratching on the door to be let out....) I get up for her,because I may not have her much longer... but the sleep thing is really a mess. I try to get to bed earlier... but that only goes so far... I try to go back to bed, but when Im up... Im up. I take a hot bath on these mornings, and jut try to relax... I definitely have times of deep sadness, and I want to feel, but I don't want to be paralyzed by it... sleep would not solve the things I'm sad about... but might help with the stunned paralysis...

I just had counseling today. I don't know if this applies to anyone else but I have always had a part of me from childhood trauma who wanted to get control by choosing what she wants to eat and how much (usually a LOT, big surprise).

I have done so much therapy and hypnotherapy and as you can guess nothing works. She wants control.

It's just that now she has no choices. She can't binge if she wants to. She can't even eat a piece of lean meat if she wants to. I feel like this part of me is sad that she lost the battle.

I'm not sure if this makes sense to anyone else.

But I have had days in the last month where I've thought "fine, if all I can eat is this protein crap, I'm just not eating." Which is just the opposite reaction to food.

@, I can relate. I've started trying to treat my panic stricken, tantrum throwing, inner child with compassion. Whenever she acts up I look for a way to sooth her the way I wish someone had done when I was that child.

@, I can relate. I've started trying to treat my panic stricken, tantrum throwing, inner child with compassion. Whenever she acts up I look for a way to sooth her the way I wish someone had done when I was that child.

What kinds of things are you doing for her?

I usually fix us a cup of decaf coffee and meditate on whats really bothering her. Sometimes she's afraid of not having enough, or not being good enough and sometimes she is afraid or anxious. I sit with the feeling so its like I'm listening to her and paying attention to what she is projecting. Normally I would placate her with french fries. Once I figure out what she really needs I can address it. For example, if she needs to relax we do yoga, if she needs comfort we bubble bath, if she feels lonely we call mom ect. It may sound crazy but its an easy way to learn to address your residual hang ups.

I usually fix us a cup of decaf coffee and meditate on whats really bothering her. Sometimes she's afraid of not having enough, or not being good enough and sometimes she is afraid or anxious. I sit with the feeling so its like I'm listening to her and paying attention to what she is projecting. Normally I would placate her with french fries. Once I figure out what she really needs I can address it. For example, if she needs to relax we do yoga, if she needs comfort we bubble bath, if she feels lonely we call mom ect. It may sound crazy but its an easy way to learn to address your residual hang ups.

That sounds very sane actually. For me the problem is when my actual daughter and my inner child both need me at the same time.