I haven't made a final decision yet, but I'm not sure I want to tell a lot of people that I'm opting for WLS. The problem with the sleeve is it's hard to hide, from hospital time to rapid weight loss. It may sound foolish but many are family members who I love, otherwise I wouldn't care so much, but they don't get WLS. How did you handle it?

I wish I had kept my mouth shut that's for sure.

I am 2 days post op. I chose to tell my family and 2 more friends who have been discreet about it. People's opinions truly don't matter to me. My choice to be discreet was to avoid negative opinions and negative stories. This whole process took me a year in total and every kind of test under the sun which was nerve racking enough. Didn't need more on my plate. I have always feared doctors, or maybe just what they might find wrong with me so this whole process was based on facing my fears and finishing what I started. My surgery was 4/2 but I had two dates before that, 2/5 was my first scheduled date but was sent for a sleep study to check for sleep apnea. They were right. I ended up with a CPAP machine. Then I was scheduled for 3/19 and was cancelled because I had a cold. I was starting to doubt my decision because of all the roadblocks. My surgeons assistant convinced me not to throw in the towel. I can honestly say I am glad I didn't. I look forward to watching the weight drop and fitting into so many clothes I put away, and buying new ones!!

I use discretion and my intuition to decide who to tell and when. I waited to tell my close brother until 2 weeks before surgery because I knew he would try to talk me out of it. At first he was angry I had not told him sooner but when he realized his anger stemmed from lacking the opportunity to talk me out of it he sort of laughed in recognition. He later confessed he did not want me to have the surgery but is very glad I did and told me it was the best thing I could have possibly done for my health. I did not hesitate to tell my obese friends because I wanted them to know there is an option for them and that I was available to talk to them if they want more information. My psychiatrist was against it saying it was extreme and why not eat smaller portions and exercise. Hahaha. Gee I never thought of that before

Continued. Two close friends are natural healers and I felt they would have judgment against it. When I finally told them, I think they were a bit surprised and hurt that I did not trust them enough with that information. People who I know to be big mouths who pressed me for information how I did it, I told the truth: I changed everything in my life including what I ate and the level of exercise I did. Only one close friends surprised me with her reaction." You as are just going to gain it back!" Tho hurtful to hear, I'm glad she said it because I have a reason to prove her wrong. LOL. When I meet new people who I did not know before, part of me wants to say" Hey I used to be obese. Would you have liked me as much then?" obviously I still have some resentments to work through. And truthfully, sometimes I am shocked more people don't care about how great I look. Then I realize they truly were my friends before and don't care one way or the other what I look like.

Good insights K33 - and intuitions about those to tell and not tell, and when. I'm not telling anyone beyond my immediate family, and they're good with it, but since my mom is in early stages of alzheimers, I'm aware she could say something at church unintentionally - so i'm hoping to heck she doesn't!

And by the way - if a psychiatrist who had seen me on any sort of ongoing basis and knew my struggle with weight EVER said something like that to me, s/he'd be my former shrink. Not okay. I had a doc tell me that when I asked for help with my weight - it was bizarre. He actually asked me in all seriousness if I'd ever thought of trying to diet. I asked if he was serious--and then laid him out about the plethora of diets and other things a 52 year old woman tries before she gets to 285 pounds! Good grief. I never saw him again and changed docs immediately.

Finally, I loved what you said about realizing some friends don't mention how good you look - simply because they "don't care how you look" --I agree. Some see me as a person, not the some of my pounds. Thank goodness and well said!

Kate

It was easy for me because i knew it was best for me

Nobody know what I did. I did this surgery for me. Yes it was a selfish act but like I said I did it for me. I wanted it for me. My husband thinks I had surgery on my ulcers and my kids just know I had surgery. My family, co workers, and friends also think I had surgery on my ulcers. BUT it wasn't a complete lie. I did have 3 ulcers and the part of my stomach that was removed is where my ulcers were. So it wasn't a complete lie!!!

Edited April 12, 201412 yr by JurneeOfOne

I've told several people and everyone has been supportive. I'm not announcing it to the world, but I'm not keeping it a secret, either. My opinion is that I'm doing what is necessary to get healthy. Nothing shameful in that!