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Hit my goal... feeling slightly underwhelmed ...
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Yesterday, I hit 140lbs for the first time in many years - and because I am still there today, I am claiming it as hitting my target, lol! I have now revised it down by another 5lbs but I think that those will go when I have my cosmetics done in 2014.
So I have achieved what I set out to do on 26 April when I was sleeved. Pre and post op, I have lost 83.5lbs, a number I used to look at and never really believe I could lose that. At 5'2", with two comorbidities and others looming, my sleeve was really my last throw of the dice to sort a life long problem and restore my health.
But I am surprised that I am not doing the wildly happy dance or calling up everyone I know to tell them. So i've been thinking - why not?
Partly, it's because I have had the compliments on the way about my weight loss and don't feel like stating the bleedin' obvious in case it sets off everyone on the "ooh, don't lose any more" commentary (which has started). (Maybe I don't want someone to unwittingly do down what I have achieved with a careless comment...)
Partly, it's because it's really the beginning not the end of this journey - now I have to maintain.
Partly it's because my doctor told me last week that I was to be applauded for saving my own life. That was quite a statement that drove home to me the significance of what I have done.
But the biggest reason why I think I am not leaping around is that I did this for me - and for me alone. No one told me to, for the first time in my life I was selfish, paid for the surgery without discussing it with anyone and put me first.
So I know inside what I have achieved because I know the pain, pleasure and the crazy roller coaster ride I have gone through to get here. I know of the doubts, the fear and tears on the way. I know the highs and the lows, the dark days - and the good days. Of the support and friendship on this site that kept my head above the Water even if the people responding didn't realise the good they were doing. My thanks to each and every one of you.
I have been fully present every step of the way, I haven't run away, I have lived it and I don't think anyone who hasn't been sleeved can fully appreciate this journey. For the first time in my life, I am going to do something different - I am going to give myself a pat on the back, mean it and accept it graciously.
Well done Jacqui, you are a success, the rest of your life lies ahead - and there are now no excuses for not living it to the full :-))))))
Here's to a an amazing 2014 for us all x