No one ever said..i'm worried about how heavy you are getting!

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

Oh, I hear ya. Regular comedienne I am in real life...

What did Smokey Robinson sing about? 'Tears of a Clown'?

Well, I am that. I am also the hardest working person on the planet - all to prove that I might be fat, but holy cow, am I capable.

I also accepted a level of professional treatment which was, at times and in fact, sexual bias and hard-core bullying. (Coming from a male-dominated legal background, it was ludicrous that I swallowed it)

Not any more.

With the weight loss, I'm feeling like I have nothing else to lose (if that makes any sense?).

Why should I demean myself and defer to older, generally male incompetents to make sure the 'cosmic order' is maintained and their egos bolstered at my expense? Made to feel subtly lesser in preference to women who are half my size and have half my intellect (arrogant, but true).

By continuing to turn a blind eye, kow-towing- all because I was bigger than your average? I was doing every other woman who strove for equality (or the 'illusion' of equality we have been fed) the greatest of injustices.

Not. Any. More.

This attitude is also permeating into my social life, too. I might still be ill-equipped to deal with rising levels of attention from potential suitors.. But no longer is my kind and overly-generous nature going to be exploited by the often calculating and emotionally and financially vampiric people who have masqueraded in the past as so-called friends.

That **** is done and the revolution is now!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

Oh, I hear ya. Regular comedienne I am in real life...

What did Smokey Robinson sing about? 'Tears of a Clown'?

Well, I am that. I am also the hardest working person on the planet - all to prove that I might be fat, but holy cow, am I capable.

I also accepted a level of professional treatment which was, at times and in fact, sexual bias and hard-core bullying. (Coming from a male-dominated legal background, it was ludicrous that I swallowed it)

Not any more.

With the weight loss, I'm feeling like I have nothing else to lose (if that makes any sense?).

Why should I demean myself and defer to older, generally male incompetents to make sure the 'cosmic order' is maintained and their egos bolstered at my expense? Made to feel subtly lesser in preference to women who are half my size and have half my intellect (arrogant, but true).

By continuing to turn a blind eye, kow-towing- all because I was bigger than your average? I was doing every other woman who strove for equality (or the 'illusion' of equality we have been fed) the greatest of injustices.

Not. Any. More.

This attitude is also permeating into my social life, too. I might still be ill-equipped to deal with rising levels of attention from potential suitors.. But no longer is my kind and overly-generous nature going to be exploited by the often calculating and emotionally and financially vampiric people who have masqueraded in the past as so-called friends.

That **** is done and the revolution is now!

I am not a professional of your caliber by any means...but in the past when I was employed bosses saw me as mostly not worth any time or chance.... I never got further then the average bear.....Once I worked for a grocery chain and cooked food sausages to be exact for demonstration..I was good at it and sold everything I had first before anyone else..

The 2 managers came over to me and looked me up and down and moved out of what they thought was ear shot and said that I was good at what I did but that I did not fit the profile of someone who should even be eating that type of food....

I let them say what they wanted and they let me finish out the day..That night I got a phone call telling me that my services were no longer needed...

I am a worker and a diligent person and Blondie that was almost beside me couldn't find her way out of a paper bag..They kept her and she was as dumb as a rock...All because I did not fit their bill........

That was when I turned to comedy to lesson the blows if someone were to notice how big I was.. A lot of scars through the years but not enough to get me thin where everyone expected me to be.........and now it is so ironic that some think I am too small...blows my mind!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

That made my heart sink, RJ. I know EXACTLY the scenario.

I used to go quiet. Feel wounded. And eat for comfort at night....

The years of wounding are making me a bit angry of late... I have to be mindful not to go too far the other way....

As attractive as litigation might be, maybe a quick 'go **** yourself' might make me feel better about things these days. Particularly if its accompanied by a flick of the hair and a flouncing away with my new, much smaller behind wearing something fabulous.

When it happens, I'll be sure to let you know how it felt x

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

That made my heart sink, RJ. I know EXACTLY the scenario.

I used to go quiet. Feel wounded. And eat for comfort at night....

The years of wounding are making me a bit angry of late... I have to be mindful not to go too far the other way....

As attractive as litigation might be, maybe a quick 'go **** yourself' might make me feel better about things these days. Particularly if its accompanied by a flick of the hair and a flouncing away with my new, much smaller behind wearing something fabulous.

When it happens, I'll be sure to let you know how it felt x

don't forget..I want to know!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[MouseOnTheMile 186]

When I sat them down to bring up WLS to my parents for the first time, my father was of course skeptical that I was making too dramatic a decision and there was other things I should continue trying. Then he said:

"Although I understand why you want it, I've been worried about your weight for a long time, but how could I bring it up without hurting you?"

His concern was touching and what he said sealed the deal. I was always worried my parents were disappointed in my weight problems and though it was concern, not disappointment he voiced, it reaffirmed those feelings. How could I go on living the way I was knowing the people who love me most saw me the way I feared strangers did. No, that statement pushed every other "what if" out. I'm 7 nearly weeks post op now, my dad came with me to TJ for my surgery and I hope this year will bring all positive changes!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

When I sat them down to bring up WLS to my parents for the first time, my father was of course skeptical that I was making too dramatic a decision and there was other things I should continue trying. Then he said:

"Although I understand why you want it, I've been worried about your weight for a long time, but how could I bring it up without hurting you?"

His concern was touching and what he said sealed the deal. I was always worried my parents were disappointed in my weight problems and though it was concern, not disappointment he voiced, it reaffirmed those feelings. How could I go on living the way I was knowing the people who love me most saw me the way I feared strangers did. No, that statement pushed every other "what if" out. I'm 7 nearly weeks post op now, my dad came with me to TJ for my surgery and I hope this year will bring all positive changes!

You are truly blessed with a support group like that..I hope you have a wonderful and successful 2014

[MouseOnTheMile 186]

You are truly blessed with a support group like that..I hope you have a wonderful and successful 2014

Thank you RJ!

[LouiseC 1,029]

I really don't understand why people don't cut their BS and come out and say it as it is.... 'Look, can you stop losing weight? Every time I see you, it makes me feel insecure about my own body. It has forced me to re-evaluate my own position in our one-to-one and wider social interactions. Frankly, I always felt better about myself in your company when you were fat. It made me feel like the more superior person. The person in control. Not, the loser round the table who can't stop filling their face. Your weight loss is forcing me to not only look at myself physically, but look at my personality, too. When you were fat, you were still socially accepted. This must mean that as a 'human being', you had enough of a personality to carry you amongst our peer group. That much acceptance, for you, was the only level of social accommodation I was prepared to embrace and feel comfortable with. I don't like change. You will fail. I've read it that people regain all their weight after bariatric surgery - and some, all of the time. You will fail. You have to fail. Surely? For a big person, you dressed as best you could. We thought it cute you'd 'made an effort', but knew you were never going to turn heads or attention away from us as you were. I felt safe in that. Now that you've lost weight, you not only have the gift of having a sparkling personality, but you've attained a higher physical status now, too. But surely you're going to look hideous naked, with all that loose skin? Surely? Arent you? Please say you are! It must mean I'm not as good as I used to be. There has been a seismic shift in the universal cosmic order and our 'social hierachy' has been changed. I think I might now have fallen lower in those ranks. Please put your weight back on so I can go back to feeling better and more secure about myself?' Do you know, if someone was honest enough to say any of that to me or machinations of it - I'd buy them a pint. In fact, I'd buy them 10 pints. As it stands, we will all have to spend our time reading the subtext of the statements being uttered in our directions, feeling lost, confused, bewildered and largely hurt. See them for what they are.... The wittering insecurities of people who really are incapable of embracing change - even for the greater good of another persons health and wellbeing - both mental and physical. These are the festering musings of individuals, muttered in hushed embittered tones, whose only real concern... is about themselves... You know what? Bugger them all. That's what I say Stay strong, people. x

This is brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. I just read it out to my husband even.

I am now going to stop reassuring people that I have saggy ugly stretched out skin. F*@k 'em!

[Nurse_B 270]

It never ceases to amaze me, the permission people give themselves to insert their opinions about others. I too had very little people telling me their concern about my steadily expanding waist line. Part of it I am sure is not wanting to hurt my feelings. Since I have made the decision to have surgery, and had it, people who have never had opinions before sure don't hesitate to let me know how they felt about my size before, and what my goals should be now. I don't think people understand personal boundaries, especially with weight. It's sad you have to deal with people talking about you.

[Bombs 353]

I really don't understand why people don't cut their BS and come out and say it as it is.... 'Look, can you stop losing weight? Every time I see you, it makes me feel insecure about my own body. It has forced me to re-evaluate my own position in our one-to-one and wider social interactions. Frankly, I always felt better about myself in your company when you were fat. It made me feel like the more superior person. The person in control. Not, the loser round the table who can't stop filling their face. Your weight loss is forcing me to not only look at myself physically, but look at my personality, too. When you were fat, you were still socially accepted. This must mean that as a 'human being', you had enough of a personality to carry you amongst our peer group. That much acceptance, for you, was the only level of social accommodation I was prepared to embrace and feel comfortable with. I don't like change. You will fail. I've read it that people regain all their weight after bariatric surgery - and some, all of the time. You will fail. You have to fail. Surely? For a big person, you dressed as best you could. We thought it cute you'd 'made an effort', but knew you were never going to turn heads or attention away from us as you were. I felt safe in that. Now that you've lost weight, you not only have the gift of having a sparkling personality, but you've attained a higher physical status now, too. But surely you're going to look hideous naked, with all that loose skin? Surely? Arent you? Please say you are! It must mean I'm not as good as I used to be. There has been a seismic shift in the universal cosmic order and our 'social hierachy' has been changed. I think I might now have fallen lower in those ranks. Please put your weight back on so I can go back to feeling better and more secure about myself?' Do you know, if someone was honest enough to say any of that to me or machinations of it - I'd buy them a pint. In fact, I'd buy them 10 pints. As it stands, we will all have to spend our time reading the subtext of the statements being uttered in our directions, feeling lost, confused, bewildered and largely hurt. See them for what they are.... The wittering insecurities of people who really are incapable of embracing change - even for the greater good of another persons health and wellbeing - both mental and physical. These are the festering musings of individuals, muttered in hushed embittered tones, whose only real concern... is about themselves... You know what? Bugger them all. That's what I say Stay strong, people. x

. Spot on!

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

It never ceases to amaze me, the permission people give themselves to insert their opinions about others. I too had very little people telling me their concern about my steadily expanding waist line. Part of it I am sure is not wanting to hurt my feelings. Since I have made the decision to have surgery, and had it, people who have never had opinions before sure don't hesitate to let me know how they felt about my size before, and what my goals should be now. I don't think people understand personal boundaries, especially with weight. It's sad you have to deal with people talking about you.

This woman paid no mind to me before I had surgery neither did a 100 others, but now...they want to get a peak at the new me...and talk about it with their friends....I know these people...They are not happy for me they want to trash me in a different way.....That's okay, they drew first blood! I will win the war over their ignorance!!!!!!

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

Oh, I would go for a big fat dose of sarcastic 'lol you lot really don't have a lot going on in your lives, do you? If you have this much time to talk about my ever-decreasing backside!...

Would you care for a closer look?!'

[McButterpants 2,846]

Oh, I would go for a big fat dose of sarcastic 'lol you lot really don't have a lot going on in your lives, do you? If you have this much time to talk about my ever-decreasing backside!...

Would you care for a closer look?!'

I LOL'd at that! ^^

[susan6161 142]

Only 4 people know I had WLS and today one asked "what will you do when you lose too much weight? How do you stop it?" Seriously? I wonder if they think there is no work involved? This person sees me weigh my food, drink my Water (lots and lots of water)and waves when I take my 5-7 mile walks nearly EVERY day! Geesh!

[Madam Reverie 2,958]

Only 4 people know I had WLS and today one asked "what will you do when you lose too much weight? How do you stop it?" Seriously? I wonder if they think there is no work involved? This person sees me weigh my food, drink my Water (lots and lots of water)and waves when I take my 5-7 mile walks nearly EVERY day! Geesh!

I would simply reply with this... 'If i want to stop losing weight, it will be easy. I will start eating crisco out of the fridge. I shall flavour it up with some chocolate, crispy bacon, maple Syrup, use a drum stick of fried chicken as a spoon and start washing it down with some melted ice cream. THAT, is how I will stop the weight loss <internal thought 'you stupid idiot'>'