You Should Not Consider Bariatric Surgery if..

[feedyoureye 3,087]

Well said Laura.

5. And if you think this will make you like the way you look...

This is a good point. Health should be the great motivator, it helps make smarter choices if you follow your Drs plan. Looks are just a side effect, and like Mrs RRn said, you may not like the way you look after you lose.

[No game 14,436]

Well said Laura. This is a good point. Health should be the great motivator, it helps make smarter choices if you follow your Drs plan. Looks are just a side effect, and like Mrs RRn said, you may not like the way you look after you lose.

Yes, that can fill a whole different thread...

From an article I read recently..,

"Body-image experts say it’s not uncommon for people, especially women, who have lost a lot of weight to be disappointed to some extent to discover that they still aren’t “perfect.” The excess fat is gone when they reach their goal weight, but they may have sagging skin, cellulite or a body shape that they still deem undesirable. Some even continue to see themselves as though they are overweight.

Some specialists use the term “phantom fat” to refer to this phenomenon of feeling fat and unacceptable after weight loss."

Bariatric surgery will not cure self esteem issues..

Edited December 27, 2013 by laura-ven

[tiredmama 137]

There is a lot of food for thought here. One good thing about my history of major yo-yo-ing is that I have already experienced the reality that a much thinner me is not necessarily any happier, less self-critical, more secure... In the past that would always depress me which would send me right back to emotional overeating, made worse by the feeling of deprivation that built up with dieting. I hope that this time around my expectations are more realistic and my motivation really is more about investing in my long-term health rather than a magic bullet, but I do catch myself fantasizing about how wonderful everything will be a year post-sleeve. I am still pre-op and trying to be honest with myself and preparing myself emotionally as well as possible

[DonRodolfo 1,416]

Not that Laura's wisdom needs anything added to it but I find this article compliments it well and should be required reading for anyone contemplating WLS:

Woman Loses 180 Pounds & Is Bitterly Disappointed With the Results

http://thestir.cafemom.com/healthy_living/152848/woman_loses_180_pounds_is

Edited December 28, 2013 by DonRodolfo

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

Not that Laura's wisdom needs anything added to it but I find this article compliments it well and should be required reading for anyone contemplating WLS:

Woman Loses 180 Pounds & Is Bitterly Disappointed With the Results

http://thestir.cafemom.com/healthy_living/152848/woman_loses_180_pounds_is

people are holding this book up as one more reason WLS doesnt work. because, clearly, everyone who has the surgery is just like jan larson. now i am not saying its only a tiny number of people who are like her. because there are plenty of people who have WLS who never once look at their food/self esteem issues beforehand. but, really, instead of saying, "yeah, this horrible culture of worshipping the underweight woman leads to many many people believing that losing weight will make them happy," they say.... "see, WLS doesnt work and is bad for you." its really annoying.

and dont read the article, which emphasizes only one aspect of the book, but read her book. it clearly shows that losing weight and recovery from food addiction/morbid obesity are totally different things.

[DonRodolfo 1,416]

Not that Laura's wisdom needs anything added to it but I find this article compliments it well and should be required reading for anyone contemplating WLS:

Woman Loses 180 Pounds & Is Bitterly Disappointed With the Results

http://thestir.cafemom.com/healthy_living/152848/woman_loses_180_pounds_is

people are holding this book up as one more reason WLS doesnt work. because, clearly, everyone who has the surgery is just like jan larson. now i am not saying its only a tiny number of people who are like her. because there are plenty of people who have WLS who never once look at their food/self esteem issues beforehand. but, really, instead of saying, "yeah, this horrible culture of worshipping the underweight woman leads to many many people believing that losing weight will make them happy," they say.... "see, WLS doesnt work and is bad for you." its really annoying.

and dont read the article, which emphasizes only one aspect of the book, but read her book. it clearly shows that losing weight and recovery from food addiction/morbid obesity are totally different things.

My point in posting that was not to demonstrate that WLS doesn't work. The article itself, without the book, does a good job of showing that a person can have expectations that will not be fulfilled by having surgery.

[RJ'S/beginning 5,357]

I can add to this thread by saying that no matter how prepared you are or think you are you will come across situations and feelings and thoughts that you never thought possible...all the things that you hoped would be accomplished with this tool will cause you frustration and anxiety, happiness and fear...fear of both succeeding and failing..Fear of who you were and who you will become..etc...

The best thing to do at the beginning is stay close to your surgeon and nuts program and ask as many questions as you can on here or anyone you trust....( Those who have been where you are! ) Which is most of us here...

This is not a simple calorie counting diet. This is a program that will be with you the rest of your life...If you commit to it most likely you will be happier, healthier and the person that you hid inside will come out and shine.....

It will be worth all the struggles and if you are one of the fortunate ones you will see your goal..That is where the work begins......

I can't think of anything I personally have done in my life that has taken this much time, effort and energy to accomplish..I am still not there, and will never be there..I am a work in progress like a painting ( one stroke at a time )

Is it worth it? Well yes!!!!!!!!!

[moonlitestarbrite 902]

My point in posting that was not to demonstrate that WLS doesn't work. The article itself, without the book, does a good job of showing that a person can have expectations that will not be fulfilled by having surgery.

i understand that completely... but, i dont think the "article" fairly represents the book. the book is a very human journey through one woman's experience with WLS. and i think figuring out that being skinny would not make her happy was just part of the requirements of her journey. expecting one thing and getting another is part of life and not a reason in and of itself to not get this surgery. not being willing to work though that honestly might be a reason though.....

[LouiseC 1,029]

Yes, that can fill a whole different thread... From an article I read recently.., "Body-image experts say it’s not uncommon for people, especially women, who have lost a lot of weight to be disappointed to some extent to discover that they still aren’t “perfect.” The excess fat is gone when they reach their goal weight, but they may have sagging skin, cellulite or a body shape that they still deem undesirable. Some even continue to see themselves as though they are overweight. Some specialists use the term “phantom fat” to refer to this phenomenon of feeling fat and unacceptable after weight loss." Bariatric surgery will not cure self esteem issues..

This is going to sound strange, but is think I had 'phantom fat' post pregnancy 23 years ago. I thought I was super obese, when I. Look back at photos now I am stunned at how small I was as that is not how I remember myself. I then think I grew to become the image I had of myself in my head. I remain very cautious about this phenomenon occurring again and not seeing myself as I really am now. I think that could explain my obsession with selfies! I use them to keep an idea of how I look accurate and relevant. I don't want that phantom fat back!

I did say it was going to be strange.......

[hollyr 49]

Well said Laura. This is a good point. Health should be the great motivator, it helps make smarter choices if you follow your Drs plan. Looks are just a side effect, and like Mrs RRn said, you may not like the way you look after you lose.

Yes, that can fill a whole different thread...

From an article I read recently..,

"Body-image experts say it’s not uncommon for people, especially women, who have lost a lot of weight to be disappointed to some extent to discover that they still aren’t “perfect.” The excess fat is gone when they reach their goal weight, but they may have sagging skin, cellulite or a body shape that they still deem undesirable. Some even continue to see themselves as though they are overweight.

Some specialists use the term “phantom fat” to refer to this phenomenon of feeling fat and unacceptable after weight loss."

Bariatric surgery will not cure self esteem issues..

So very true. I am more critical of myself now than I was 115lbs ago. This trip is 99% mental.

[ribearty 544]

While I am new with the sleeve, I had a lap band for 6 + years which makes me a revision patient. When I had my band put in, I never thought it would have to come out. I planned on being a one time wls patient. I am so fortunate to have gotten a second chance. This has to wok for me for several reasons:

• because my insurance company only pays for one surgery unless there is a device failure or complication related to the surgery.
• Since I am a revision patient, I have the baggage of knowing that one surgery didn't work already,
• I am over 50
• post menopausal
• revision patients tend to not lose as quickly as a virgin wls patient.

I believe I have the right mind set and this will work. In my opinion it seems many people think I had wls, I am guaranteed to lose weight. I can continue to eat what I ate before but in smaller amounts. It amazes me when people are posting how they are eating foods too early. As a previous poster said if following their own opinion worked, why did they have to resort to WLS? I guess I fall into the mean category when I post replies to people on these type of topics of eating too soon. I tend to get a lot of flack. I am not perfect with my eating and do not profess to be. As Butter said during the honeymoon period it is easier. This is the time to make good choices and install the healthy eating habits that can get you to your goal at the end.

WLS is not a magic wand or pill you can take and it automatically happens. It requires hard work and once you get to goal, then the works begins to stay there. As all of us have been on diets before and lost weight, you know the major reason we regained the weight and probably more is because we didn't maintain healthy eating habits and possibly quit exercising.

I am off my soap box now.

Edited December 29, 2013 by ribearty

[bearman99 228]

5. If you are a jackhat and going to think you know more than your surgeon and nutritionist and decide to eat foods ahead of schedule. If you cannot comply to the exact surgeon instruction in the first month - don't do it. Or at least shut up about it when you do not comply and things don't go perfect.

Just sayin

[M2G 1,836]

My point in posting that was not to demonstrate that WLS doesn't work. The article itself, without the book, does a good job of showing that a person can have expectations that will not be fulfilled by having surgery.

i understand that completely... but, i dont think the "article" fairly represents the book. the book is a very human journey through one woman's experience with WLS. and i think figuring out that being skinny would not make her happy was just part of the requirements of her journey. expecting one thing and getting another is part of life and not a reason in and of itself to not get this surgery. not being willing to work though that honestly might be a reason though.....

I also read Jen Larsen's book and was horrified at how willy-nilly she jumped into having a DS (IMO it's one of the most drastic of all WL surgeries) and it was funny because she totally DID think that losing the weight would solve all of her problems and was bitterly disappointed that while losing weight was great she did not magically get the "life" she thought she wanted once the weight was gone.

Anyway, LV, as usual this is a great post. One of the things that I HATE more than anything around here is people who are post-op, pop in with a statement like "the sleeve is the easiest thing I've ever done, I get to eat whatever I want and life is so grand!" I don't want to belittle anyone or take away their success or rain on their parade but there is just a LOT of work that goes into making any WLS a successful one in the long term scope of things. A LOT OF WORK.

Nothing worth having is ever easy. Successful families, marriages, careers, and yes even weight-loss all take hard work.

[danielledalton 8]

I am only 2 weeks out and went in to this with eyes wide open...or as open as you can be. In other words I understood that it's just a tool and that you have to work it. I did counseling for a year as well so I figured I was about as ready as I could be. Still this is way harder than I thought it would be! The realization that I woke up with this morning is that the surgery doesn't take away the decision about what you put in your mouth on a daily basis. It doesn't take away choices that force you to only put healthy foods in your mouth and I think that has been the shocker for me. The pizza and things my family eats are still sitting in front of me and while there may be repercussions for eating it, the choice is still there, unfortunately lol.

[Fluffnomore 1,235]

I worry about the attitude that it will solve everything…I think my husband has it. All I can do is be gentle but it is frustrating. Now he has the idea because I am losing weight my life is suddenly better. Uh, no. I still am procrastinating about writing a grant, I still worry about juggling what I juggle. I happen to do it in a smaller size of jeans.

We had this discussion about when we can retire the other day. He said, "But you love your job and it's going great!" I said, "I like my job, but it is work. I have issues with it, it is tedious, I don't like everyone I am in contact with, and I have a couple of things I'm worried about. It is work." He has a bit of magical thinking about this. He was shocked to hear that I am not delighted with every aspect. Anyway…it is the same with weight loss. With marriage. With families, as M2G said so well.

I'm also way too young to retire, but that is another story.