Hi, all! I've been contemplating who all should I tell that I'm having this surgery. So far, I've told my husband, my kids, my mom, 2 of 3 siblings, & 1 close friend. My husband is a bit apprehensive but supportive. My mom is totally supportive. As a matter of fact, she wants the surgery too but her (self employed) insurance doesn't cover it. The siblings I told because I figured they'd be positive are trying to talk me out of it. The sister that I didn't tell because of her negative attitude in the past may have been the one I should've told. My friend had the gastric bypass about 8 years ago so that's why I told her. Although, she is not very supportive of the sleeve.

My dad has always called me fat & asked when am I going to lose weight? I just want to let the end result speak for itself rather than tell him. Don't get me wrong, I love my father but he has such prejudiced opinions about plus sized women (he's overweight). Most other family members, especially my mom's side, are overly critical, judgy, & jealous hearted (haters, if you will). So, no support there. I'm wondering if I actually told more people, will I be pleasantly surprised at their reaction? Will they actually provide me with the support that I need? Who did you tell & why? Did any of their reactions surprise you?

Edited December 15, 201312 yr by w8loser

Wow! You guys have some excellent advice. Sounds like most of you aren't shy at all about the whole thing. I admire that a lot. I definitely needed to hear this from you all. Because we went to a family pre-Christmas get together tonight. Needless to say, my great aunt (Grams sister) went in on me about the how much food my husband& I both had on our plates. It was appetizers only & I swear it wasn't much. I've been on a diet since my last supervised doctor's visit. But, we could've had only a freaking olive on our plates & it would've been scrutinized because we're the only fat couple in my family. I wish I could've taken some of this advice & said what was really on my mind but she's like 130 years old so I couldn't go there with her. Thanks for the words of encouragement! Good luck to everyone who's about to be on the loser's bench!

Edited December 16, 201312 yr by w8loser

Video Link: http://youtu.be/XBdwa_p35vA

OMG! joatsaint, this is the very first video that I watched when I decided for sure to have the surgery. I typed in "should I tell anyone about my wls" & it popped up. Great advice.

Edited December 16, 201312 yr by w8loser

Just some food for thought from personal experience... when you decide who to tell, make sure you think about who they might tell and if you don't want them to tell anyone -say so!

True. Thanks!

I've only told my family and two very close friends. I've found so many people around me look at it like an easy way out. ????

Video Link: http://youtu.be/XBdwa_p35vA

That is an awesome video! I hadn't seen it before, I hadn't even seen it on YouTube...very very good thank you for sharing!

Sheldon

I am still pre-sleeve (24 hours til surgery wheeee!!!) But I have told my co-workers which is about a dozen people and my immediate family. I am not shy about it. And I really dont care what people think or say. The only thing I have not done is put it out to my extended friends and acquaintances on facebook and such. But they will all know soon enough.

I started by just telling my parents and sister. They were very supportive. I then decided to tell my close friends (3 ladies), two were super supportive, one not so much. As surgery date got closer, I told my co workers, very supportive and always asking how I'm doing. There is a ton of variety in who people tell on here, just go with what you are comfortable with!

I've been telling everyone. I'm even having a countdown to my surgery (14 days!) on Facebook to my 200ish friends and family. Whoever isn't supportive can kiss my butt and get out of my life. I've got enough working negatively against me without people volunteering for the job. Of course, I'm also a -very- open book and my struggle with PCOS and weight would be on daily news if they'd give me a spot. I've also got a dominant "run with me or get run over attitude" and my approach works for me. But I feel if I have to hide something, I'm not being true to myself.

As a newbie, I found this post very helpful. I'm sure it's something all bariatric patients deal with. I am expecting to have my surgery in February if everything goes right. I still have only told my grandparents who raised me, my best friend, and my husband. I think many people who are overweight and have been for much of their lives have issues with self concept and self esteem. One of my biggest fears is telling my parents who have never dealt with a weight issue to be ridiculed. I am a very sensitive person, and above all I have always wanted to those special to me to be proud of me. Although I am steadfast in my resolve, and have strong support from just a couple people, I do fear judgement.

As a newbie, I found this post very helpful. I'm sure it's something all bariatric patients deal with. I am expecting to have my surgery in February if everything goes right. I still have only told my grandparents who raised me, my best friend, and my husband. I think many people who are overweight and have been for much of their lives have issues with self concept and self esteem. One of my biggest fears is telling my parents who have never dealt with a weight issue to be ridiculed. I am a very sensitive person, and above all I have always wanted to those special to me to be proud of me. Although I am steadfast in my resolve, and have strong support from just a couple people, I do fear judgement.

I am, Nurse_B thanks! kmiller13137 Thanks I'm glad you think it helps! I do believe that you've hit the nail on the head. Many of us who have been overweight most or all of our lives deal with self esteem issues & the desire to be accepted by others. Some would think that having a life changing surgery such as wls, that we would want to shout it from the rooftop. But, I think that my fear of failing, not reaching goal, or no one noticing my weight loss has prevented me from being able to share this with more people that I believe do care about me. I don't want them to see me fall flat on my face. kmiller13137, in actuality it's about us & our health not them.

Edited December 23, 201312 yr by w8loser

"Far better is it to dare mighty things, to win glorious triumphs, even though checkered by failure... than to rank with those poor spirits who neither enjoy nor suffer much, because they live in a gray twilight that knows not victory nor defeat." -Theodore Roosevelt

Don't be afraid to fail... that's how we learn to succeed! And those that love us will give us a hand up, dust us off, and give us a shove in the right direction! They fail at stuff too, you know.

"Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." - Bernard Baruch

It is amazing how other people can have such an impact on our lives. My husband and I were sleeved. He made the decision to tell no one. I have told my daughter and 1 dear friend, a nurse. I would rather be open about it, but respect his wishes. At my age, 67, I no longer have friends who are judgmental, or family. My life is too short for that nonsense.

One thing, I am sure the people some of you have told have told others. Nature of the universe lol. But who cares, it is your life. Treasure it and guard it from negative people. Just distance yourself. Blessings to you!!