For those of you that don't know me, My name is Laura and I have a food addiction.

My addiction it is being managed through the sleeve and hard work, at the moment...

I have/had a food addiction yes, but I also have an addictive obsessive personality..

For the last year plus my life has been about the sleeve. It is my focus from the moment I wake until the moment I sleep.. My "social time" is spent here with others that live the same life now as me. They "get it", well most of them anyway.... There is commonality here and that is huge to me. After all, my food is taken away how else will "I fill the hole"?

Along with my time here, I spend time working on the mechanics of my sleeve life. I plan my liquids, I take great care to get them in. Time meals to come 1/2 hour after finishing a round of liquids. Try and start my liquids up an hour, if I can, after my meals. My meals are thought out to the extent that they are Protein and veg. These are the "rules" I live by.

In the beginning I have referred to the Water schedule as a full time job. And in a way after all this time my eating drinking schedule is still like a full time job. Or at the least a very choreographed dance I do....

If my day includes activities out of the "norm" it can disrupt my dance....

This past weekend life, and I should say one the more challenging parts of it "got in the way" of my sleeved life. It made me realize the road to hell truly can be paved with the best intentions.. My real life and my sleeved life collided with a force strong enough to knock my sleeved life off its axis a bit. I simply could not spend my time dealing with the all important dance of food and liquids and the support of friends..

Did I eat this past four days? Yes. Did I eat enough? To much? Protein? Trigger foods? Timed just right? I honestly don't know and didn't much care.

Did I drink my fluids?

No, that I can guarantee not. Unless you count take away coffees and chi tea.

In fact several days I'd notice that it was afternoon already and not a drop of water had past my lips.

All or nothing... The life of an addict.

But this does not work, it is not realistic if you want to succeed in the sleeved life and life combined. You need balance. I'm not good at balance I realized that this weekend. I am a one trick pony, a one hit wonder.. I will spend my next year trying to find balance.

Here is my true holiday party confession. I forgot who I was.

Okay, who my stomach now is.

Had a second glass of wine (danger Will Robinson.) Then someone ordered some flatbread pizzas, and I thought, "Genius! Good idea. This will soak up the alcohol."

How many mistakes had I made thus far, people? Are you keeping count?? So then I had two small squares of the pizza, and felt the hiccups come on. And then mentally hit my hand to my forehead. I forgot that I enjoy chatting so much…and that I don't always pay attention.

Can't do this, this way, anymore.

But when I got home I dutifully calculated everything, and found that I was only a little over 1200 calories for the day. Since then, I have been more careful and other than an eye sprain from rolling my eyes at myself it's all good.

HOWEVER, I think if I had not been in the habit of tracking I would have been either feeling like I had ruined everything, OR underestimating the damages. (1200 calories is 150% of what I should be eating daily, so it's significant.) And the entire overage was in stuff that has questionable nutritional value. So. Back on track, literally and figuratively.

And a much better plan going into the next party. Nothing like getting cocky and then getting knocked down.

Arts when I focus on family and friends it makes me eat Those b*****s are crazy

I'm with you in this one!!!!

Here is my true holiday party confession. I forgot who I was.

Okay, who my stomach now is.

Had a second glass of wine (danger Will Robinson.) Then someone ordered some flatbread pizzas, and I thought, "Genius! Good idea. This will soak up the alcohol."

How many mistakes had I made thus far, people? Are you keeping count?? So then I had two small squares of the pizza, and felt the hiccups come on. And then mentally hit my hand to my forehead. I forgot that I enjoy chatting so much…and that I don't always pay attention.

Can't do this, this way, anymore.

But when I got home I dutifully calculated everything, and found that I was only a little over 1200 calories for the day. Since then, I have been more careful and other than an eye sprain from rolling my eyes at myself it's all good.

HOWEVER, I think if I had not been in the habit of tracking I would have been either feeling like I had ruined everything, OR underestimating the damages. (1200 calories is 150% of what I should be eating daily, so it's significant.) And the entire overage was in stuff that has questionable nutritional value. So. Back on track, literally and figuratively.

And a much better plan going into the next party. Nothing like getting cocky and then getting knocked down.

Gah I did something similar last night only I thought I could eat a sliver of cheese cake after prime rib.

I soooo thought meh I haven't had anything good like this in 6 months I'll be good from now on......

I got the worst stomach ache after we almost had to leave. I however made myself stay and reap my rewarded gut ache for another 30 minutes! I knew better and did it bc I wasn't REALLY thinking! Lesson learned

Now I must go track it and see the damage!!

For the OP, I hear ya! I'm 2.5 years out and the days of eating a bite or two and being stuffed are long behind me. Not that I don't have restriction- I do, but I could easily eat enough to gain at pretty rapid clip. I told myself my present to me this year is to get to Christmas at goal weight. I had started eating a lot of extras in early fall, and by time time Thanksgiving rolled by, it was time to put the brakes on. I am not eating sugar on most days, no fatty Snacks, no snacks after dinner, and I'm tracking my Fluid intake. It's working for me. I do have lots of low calorie holiday treats, such as sugar free hot cider and Greek yogurt spinach dip with crudités. And I'm doing a ton of holiday stuff with family and friends.

Instead of thinking of watching what you eat as a punishment, think of it as your gift to yourself.

Lynda

Oh Laura and Redbean,

I FORMALLY invite you to my house. We are all crazy, but none of us are mean. I will ensure lots of Protein ar any table, lots of Christmas music, and rooms to hide away from it all whenever needed!!!

if you can, focus on family and friends rather than the food... I know it might not be much... the burden is on you... :-(

Arts when I focus on family and friends it makes me eat
Those b*****s are crazy

Oh Laura and Redbean, I FORMALLY invite you to my house. We are all crazy, but none of us are mean. I will ensure lots of protein ar any table, lots of Christmas music, and rooms to hide away from it all whenever needed!!!

WOOOT WOOOT!! I'm there! Protein and rooms to hide?!? Perfect set up!!!

I like my family but move over. I'm coming too.

I have no use for my husband and children right now.

I like my family but move over. I'm coming too. I have no use for my husband and children right now.

WOOOHOOOO!!! Party at Arts!!! Idk that he knows what he's in for :-P

Thank you guys so much!!! Sometimes I need reframing to get my priorities in line!!! This week I'm supposed to make cookies for my kids teachers but I think instead I'll buy some candy quickly stuff in some bags and send out the door as fast as I can!!! I can't handle a couple dozen cookies cooling on the counter taunting and tempting me!! Lol. Man, what the hell is wrong with me!!! #bornthisway #imjustagirlwhocantsayno