It makes me uncomfortable, and let me tell you why...

When I started this journey there was a series of events that triggered a shift in the way I thought about gastric surgery. A few years ago I had a friend who died from complications of Gastric Bypass. It turned me off to it completely. I lived with that for years and as I was creeping up above 360 pounds and I felt like I had been on some sort of a diet for the last 15 years of my life. I thought about my weight constantly. I was in deep DEEP denial of reality. The reality was that I was OBESE. I was 6'2 and 365 (my highest) pounds. It was an ongoing frustration where I would take 2 steps forward and 3 steps backwards when it came to food.

I simply could not find balance. I was lost in a sea of 'do this, do that, don't do this, don't do that' when it came to healthy food choices. I was like a tennis ball just bouncing back and forth on a very large court. Paleo, low carb, low fat, 5:2, vegetarian, vegan, rice and chicken breast, Healthy Choice meals everyday, multiple gym memberships over the years, $200 trips to Whole Foods for a WEEK of groceries, juicing... I'm sure some of you can relate.

Then one day, a coworker came back from a leave of absence and she looked amazing. I walked by her and whispered in her ear that she looked incredible. That innocent gesture would be the starting point that would change my life forever. About 6 months to a year after that another coworker came back from an extended leave (I work in a department with a lot of people so someone leaving for a while is not terribly noticeable until they come back) and she looked AMAZING. She had lost quite a bit of weight. What I didn't know was that these girls we're very close friends and they had both gone to the same surgeon. I approached her in the break room and asked her how she lost her weight and she told me she doesn't tell a lot of people but she had the Gastric Sleeve done. I had never heard of it before. I had only heard of the gastric band and RNY. She told me that she had an amazing surgeon and that she was the happiest she had ever been before in her entire life. It was yet another domino falling in my decision to get the surgery. So I thought about it some more, went through the normal "I'm gonna try to lose this weight on my own one last time" kind of thing and I gave myself a time frame of 4 months to lose 40 pounds due to a flight I was scheduled to take and I was petrified I wouldn't fit in the seat and be able to buckle the seat belt.

About 2 weeks before the trip I had only managed to lose 10 pounds and I made my decision to seriously start researching and initiating the process of my gastric sleeve. I actually had my partners approval and support which was SO IMPORTANT to me so I booked the seminar and the two surgeons who perform the surgery's came in and explained all of my options to a small group of us. I felt like I was in a room full of lost souls. The underlying sadness in the room was palpable but so was hope for a better future. Once that was over I waited to schedule the first consult with the surgeon till after my trip. Well I am happy to report that I was able to fit on the flight and not weigh the plane down to the runway, thankfully. And on that trip I started telling those that we're close to me.

Well to make this long story short when I got back it took me 3 months to finish the requirements for my insurance to get the surgery. In that time I discovered this forum (quite possibly the BEST resource I had for knowledge) and started mentally preparing myself for surgery. I knew there was complications but I also knew that I would be okay. I knew I was young and healthy and if I was ever going to get the surgery than getting it now at 33 was my best chance for a complication-less surgery. So I went for it. I trusted my surgeon and I bypassed my fear and jumped in head first. I was ready for change. At that time I had no idea what form that change would take.

I was very transparent about my decision to get the surgery. I didn't mind telling folks, especially if I thought it would help them. Well, when I came back from my leave (30 days), I had lost about 45 pounds since anyone had seen me. A coworker, not unlike myself started taking notice. She is a friend, a wonderful woman who was just so interested in the whole process. I explained to her that I had little to no complications and that I felt great. She was fascinated just like I was. She had another friend who worked in a surgeons office that performed these surgeries so she decided to go with them instead of my surgeon. They seemed to streamline the process much differently that my surgeons office did. It's like they pushed her through SO FAST. What took me 4 months only took her 1 month and her surgery was scheduled. She was so happy and even though I had some reservations about her process compared to mine I kept them to myself because once you get into that head space you have blinders on. I couldn't blame her, I did the same thing. I was happy for her.

Then she had the surgery.

I kept in contact with her through her surgery and stay in the hospital. The complications started almost immediately. She failed the upper GI because of the swelling, fluids would sit in her esophagus for a minute before it drained into her stomach. She was in a lot of pain. Almost 4 weeks out she is still in a lot of pain and can barely eat, fluids still taking their time going into her stomach because of the swelling which should have gone down weeks ago. I referred her to this group to check out the 'Complications' section and talk to folks who are having the same (or similar) issues. She can barely eat, drink and I am sure very scared and feeling isolated because of her complications. Plus she had issues with the company who handles our leave and she was only able to be out for 3 weeks. This is crazy because she IS NOT healed yet and her surgeons office didn't extend it. This makes me so mad. She has to WORK, in an office, and be productive while she can barely drink anything and is suffering and out of pain meds. I think I am going to fill my final 2 liquid pain meds that I didn't take for my own surgery and give them to her.

I will NEVER recommend this surgery to anyone ever again. It's a shot in the dark if you will recover the way you're supposed to. I will tell people I had this surgery and show them my very obvious progress but the phrase "you should look into it" will never cross my lips again.

Because the truth of the matter is, you never know. And I refuse to my the catalyst for someone ruining their life when my intentions were the complete opposite. Sorry this was so long. Your thoughts?

I feel the exact same way! I've never recommended this surgery to anyone for the fear they would have complications. Especially since I went to Mexico, I feel very blessed that I made it out with no complications. I look back and think, that was crazy! I'm in no way saying it was a bad idea, just that I'd feel terrible if someone wasn't as lucky as I was. I get what you're feeling.

If people you care about will suffer more by not having the surgery due to medical issues I could argue you have an obligation to share your experience. Including the complications statistics and a site and/or book to help with detailed research is the best you can give a person you care about. In the end every person makes their own choice. This surgery gone wrong is not on you.

I'm scared to death of being the person with complications. I hope that doesn't happen to me but I'm going in prepared!

I am one of those people with severe complications...My life completely turned upside down because of the decision I made to make my life and my health better....

I am still struggling a year later with health problems because of my choice...Would I recommend it to anyone else...YES I would..If their quality of life was like mine before I had this surgery I would in a fast minute...I would however let them know all the possible risks....But I was the walking dead and had no quality of life...

Sure there are restrictions and not always good days and probably the hardest thing I ever did in my life...The benefits extremely out weigh the bad days for sure...

I have my life back...I can do almost anything now and am still not at goal...I am a new person with a new look at life....

In fact it is one year today that I came out of my 19 day coma due to a leak and I went septic....I am reliving the events of my ordeal but not regretting it....that will never happen

I have turned my eating into a more interesting exotic experience now and enjoy different food then I have ever before...I am not satisfied with mac and cheese any more...If it is not tasty or interesting I don't eat it...I have become a food snob....I like it that way.....

Too many positives for me to look at this with fear or regret!!!!!

I think that you can be as prepared as you can possibly be..But there is always the unknown...I know more about weight loss surgery now then I ever wanted to know when I thought I was so prepared....Everything is different, everything has changed..right down to the people I spend time with...My fat self died along with my old life...

Having trouble adjusting but that is okay.....i am the me I knew was in there some where..She just has to find her new way..that's all!

I understand you feeling of regret regarding your co-worker. I hope she feels better soon. This is, as Lauraven said, a MAJOR surgery and thus carries the potential for life altering and or threatening complications. I have been very open about my surgery and part of my decision to have the surgery was the hope that I might be able to lead by example for a dear friend who is morbidly obese, diabetic and has already had one heart attack at age 48. She isn't at a point in her life where she is ready to have WLS and I'm not sure she will ever want to. I am keenly aware that if she did choose to have WLS her outcome might be very different from mine. However her life is already at risk in her current state. Your friend / co-worker's experience is a cautionary tale that shows how important it is to carefully research not only the procedure but the surgeon and program. Would I recommend WLS to someone? I have spoken to a few people who have asked me about it but do so with caution. Too many people think it's an easy way out and don't make a fully informed decision.

I too am coming from the side of major complications. I did have the RNY done and not the sleeve, but personally my thoughts are complications could have happened either way. I was informed during my process with the surgeon about the possibility of complications. I went in eyes wide open. However like most people I never for the life of me thought I would be in the 1%. I do not feel badly toward anyone who told me about their surgery experience being great or reading so many amazing stories on here of success. It just so happened that it happened to me. I had a leak with severe infection. I was initially released from the hospital with a green light. Passed the leak tests and everything was looking up. One week exactly after my surgery I was back in the hospital for another 16 days. Luckily all I needed was a drain, a picc line, and TPN for two weeks. If anyone asks me I am truthful with them. I love what the surgery has done for me. I would go through it all again even knowing what I know. To me personally I don't feel that one persons opinion of the surgery swayed me either way. I took in all the facts and made the best decision for me.

I'm scared to death of being the person with complications. I hope that doesn't happen to me but I'm going in prepared!

I think a lot of it has to do with your mind set as well. It was strange because I just "knew" I would be okay. It was instinct for me. I had envisioned exactly how I was going to feel when I got out of surgery and how I was going to recover before I had it. I made up my mind that I was going to be successful before I even began and I think that is so important on this journey. Especially, and you'll understand what I mean when I say this about 3-5 weeks in, every single day can be different. You'll experience different things and feel different things. One week you'll be like "screw carbs!" and the next week you're calling people carb nazi's because the idea of not eating a sandwich again in life is disturbing (just do a search under my name.. it's tragic. Laura can vouch for that... lol).

Mind set..well that only goes so far...There are so many variables to this WLS...Me I was so excited I could hardly stand it..I researched the sleeve for 2 years and was put on a waiting list for 4 years..I had plenty of time to mull it over and come to the conclusion that it may give me a longer healthier life and I was ready..Boy was I ready...I could not wait to get the show on the road..

I bought everything I would possibly need to succeed and stocked up on everything I may possibly want to eat or drink that was healthy..

I even went through my closet and got rid of some of my extra big clothes just in case I was one of those " fast losers "..

Mindset no....it has to do with the surgeons abilities and your own body's reaction to the WLS...

I was 1 in 600 patients that had complications! Why me? There is no reason it just happened...It has been worth all the struggle and pain for me...

Your friend will decide for herself if this was worth it or not...Maybe not now as she is struggling with issues. But sometime after, later when things start falling into place. It is never your fault...We make our own decisions and what happens is what happens...

When I went to my surgeon, the first thing he said was that he wasn't there to persuade me to have the surgery - I was there to convince him that I understood what surgery entailed beyond losing weight and that I could accept the changes were permanent.

Having had a friend who had been sleeved, I had seen close up how major the whole thing had been and had no illusions about the risks of surgery or the commitment required to make the changes needed to make the surgery work.

But despite me doing this with my eyes wide open, the theory versus the reality was pretty different. Even knowing what was going to happen, it was initially harder than I thought, physically and emotionally. I think I was probably in shock for the first couple of weeks as the enormity of what I had done sunk in. Then came the eating/drinking issues, followed quickly by the emotional/mental difficulties.

But now almost at goal and having been round the roller coaster ride a few times, I would do it all again such is the transformation in my life. At times, I am so happy I could cry - and I don't think I would have ever got here without my sleeve.

Would I recommend being sleeved to someone else? If I was asked for my experience, I would tell it, warts and all. I would say how much I love my sleeve and that I believe it has saved my life. But I would never tell anyone to do it just because it has worked for me. Not just on medical grounds but also because we all have to arrive at decisions that are right for us at the right time. My moment came, it was right for me to be sleeved and, like many others, I came through with few problems.

OP, it's not your fault what happened to your coworker, so please don't beat yourself up.

I have found all of your posts very interesting and very informative. I am supposed to have my surgery in February 2014 but I am not open with anybody but my husband, daughter and my best friend. I realize there are very real complications out there. 5 years ago a coworker had a gastric bypass and died two weeks later due to complications. It turned me off of the possibility all together until I started thinking about things clearly. She was so overweight and had so many health problems she could have had a stroke or a heart attack and died just as easily. I come from a very thin family and I am the only overweight person in my family. In fact, I can't even recall a cousin that has a weight problem. So these people just do not understand the difficulties and feelings I've had with being over weight. They make the statement that if surgery only allows you to eat 2 ounces... then just eat 2 ounces at every meal and forego the surgery. They don't understand food addiction, stress eating, emotional binges or much of any of the other issues so I am not seeking support from them. I also feel if I'm not looking to them for support, there is no need for them to be informed of my surgery. I also don't think I would "recommend" it to anyone else. I found it on my own and I feel like if others are having issues, they will find the information on their own or a doctor will direct them to where they need to go. These are just my thoughts on the matter.

Great choice of surgeon. His complication rates are low and your BF will have a good experience there. I was very happy with the care I recieved.

. Since I've had such success with no problems, I supported my boyfriend when he told me he was ready to do the surgery himself (in Mexico with Dr Alvarez).

This is a great topic. Another long post. Sorry! I had a lapband in 2007, lost and kept off 50 pounds. However, I had a lot of problems with the band. I couldn't swallow my meds. They were never able to find a spot where it wasn't too tight or too lose. I had a major infection afterwards. I had 2 port revisions because the port flipped. Finally I had to have the band removed in April 2013 because it had slipped. Even with all these problems, I would do the band again.

Fast forward to July 2013, I still have 100 pounds to lose, and have multiple obesity related health complications. They definitely improved when I lost the 50 with the band, but I really wanted to get into the ones. I know this requires a lifetime commitment.and wonder if I have what it takes. But overall, I'm really looking forward to better health, and to eating a healthy diet. Essentially the sleeve is just another tool I can use to overcome my lifelong weight problem. I have followed the 3 month pre op program,and am just starting week 2 of my liquid Protein. I went though the emotional roller coaster with the band, and know I will encounter it again with the sleeve, but feel equipped to deal with it. I'm not alone, and this forum is an awesome resource.

My sleeve surgery is 12/9. I've researched my surgeon, the hospital, and the program, and all have excellent records. I had to do so much extensive pre surgical testing, and feel I'm both physically and mentally ready for this surgery. I'm aware it's not an easy solution, but am ready to take my chances. I'll let you know how it goes.

This is a great topic. Another long post. Sorry! I had a lapband in 2007, lost and kept off 50 pounds. However, I had a lot of problems with the band. I couldn't swallow my meds. They were never able to find a spot where it wasn't too tight or too lose. I had a major infection afterwards. I had 2 port revisions because the port flipped. Finally I had to have the band removed in April 2013 because it had slipped. Even with all these problems, I would do the band again.

Fast forward to July 2013, I still have 100 pounds to lose, and have multiple obesity related health complications. They definitely improved when I lost the 50 with the band, but I really wanted to get into the ones. I know this requires a lifetime commitment.and wonder if I have what it takes. But overall, I'm really looking forward to better health, and to eating a healthy diet. Essentially the sleeve is just another tool I can use to overcome my lifelong weight problem. I have followed the 3 month pre op program,and am just starting week 2 of my liquid Protein. I went though the emotional roller coaster with the band, and know I will encounter it again with the sleeve, but feel equipped to deal with it. I'm not alone, and this forum is an awesome resource.

My sleeve surgery is 12/9. I've researched my surgeon, the hospital, and the program, and all have excellent records. I had to do so much extensive pre surgical testing, and feel I'm both physically and mentally ready for this surgery. I'm aware it's not an easy solution, but am ready to take my chances. I'll let you know how it goes.

Good luck Idlewood4! It's been a long journey for you so far, great story. I wish you a quick, as pain-less as possible and most importantly an effective surgery.

THANK YOU EVERYONE for your responses. I really want to simply open a dialog about this because it's a reality that some of us around here face and as this surgery gains more and more traction will become more and more common.

Someone posted above that their surgeon did not sell this surgery to them. I can unfortunately report that my surgeons did (and they're fantastic surgeons) but at the end of the day that is their livelihood and by the time I showed up their practice was already a well oiled machine. There were times I felt like they were herding us in like cattle. And I imagine that is how a successful surgeons office operates (literally and figuratively) but I've also noticed that this practice is a cash cow and a lot of less qualified and less knowledgeable surgeons are jumping on board. I think this is the case with my friend and now she is paying the price. I just hope her price is not an ongoing battle and that life becomes easier for her soon.

I love reading all of your stories, there are some amazing people who frequent these boards and I am grateful for all of you.

THANK YOU EVERYONE for your responses. I really want to simply open a dialog about this because it's a reality that some of us around here face and as this surgery gains more and more traction will become more and more common.

Someone posted above that their surgeon did not sell this surgery to them. I can unfortunately report that my surgeons did (and they're fantastic surgeons) but at the end of the day that is their livelihood and by the time I showed up their practice was already a well oiled machine. There were times I felt like they were herding us in like cattle. And I imagine that is how a successful surgeons office operates (literally and figuratively) but I've also noticed that this practice is a cash cow and a lot of less qualified and less knowledgeable surgeons are jumping on board. I think this is the case with my friend and now she is paying the price. I just hope her price is not an ongoing battle and that life becomes easier for her soon.

I love reading all of your stories, there are some amazing people who frequent these boards and I am grateful for all of you.

One of the things that I will always remember is that old expression...There is always someone who stands out in your mind forever...Well I am going to be that patient for my surgeon....He has taken a personal interest in my welfare and is constantly looking out for me....When I went septic, his personal nurse told me later on that he sobbed like a baby....this is not a job to him, this is his baby...He could make tons of money on other surgeries but he feels that the abuse and self loathing that obese people get and feel is not worth their lives if he can do something about it....i admire him for that and was treated like a queen by his personal staff....

They see me coming and there is all smiles and sheer happiness to see me....That is the way they should all be with any surgery....Do it because they want to help people......not make money..you know!!!!!!!!!!

THANK YOU EVERYONE for your responses. I really want to simply open a dialog about this because it's a reality that some of us around here face and as this surgery gains more and more traction will become more and more common.

Someone posted above that their surgeon did not sell this surgery to them. I can unfortunately report that my surgeons did (and they're fantastic surgeons) but at the end of the day that is their livelihood and by the time I showed up their practice was already a well oiled machine. There were times I felt like they were herding us in like cattle. And I imagine that is how a successful surgeons office operates (literally and figuratively) but I've also noticed that this practice is a cash cow and a lot of less qualified and less knowledgeable surgeons are jumping on board. I think this is the case with my friend and now she is paying the price. I just hope her price is not an ongoing battle and that life becomes easier for her soon.

I love reading all of your stories, there are some amazing people who frequent these boards and I am grateful for all of you.

One of the things that I will always remember is that old expression...There is always someone who stands out in your mind forever...Well I am going to be that patient for my surgeon....He has taken a personal interest in my welfare and is constantly looking out for me....When I went septic, his personal nurse told me later on that he sobbed like a baby....this is not a job to him, this is his baby...He could make tons of money on other surgeries but he feels that the abuse and self loathing that obese people get and feel is not worth their lives if he can do something about it....i admire him for that and was treated like a queen by his personal staff....

They see me coming and there is all smiles and sheer happiness to see me....That is the way they should all be with any surgery....Do it because they want to help people......not make money..you know!!!!!!!!!!

You have one of the most incredible stories of anyone I've ever heard on these boards. In fact, when I was talking to my friend and telling her to come to these boards for some guidance I was in the back of my mind hoping she would find your story because you have been through hell and your attitude about it is so inspiring to people. Especially if they're going through even a little bit of what you went through.

Thank you RJ for shining your light our way.