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I Lived Through This Surgery, My Sister Didn't.



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I am so sad for you! This truly touched me and thank you for sharing such a difficult thing to put into words

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So sorry for your loss, thank you for sharing your sisters story, I will pray for you and your family.

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I thought I would come in and update you all here. We have made it through the first set of Holidays without her. It was hard. It is still so hard. But-we're staying strong as a family and working through this together.

Thank you to all those thinking and praying for our family.

We still have no answers regarding what happened. We're told it will be 90days from the time of autopsy. Its been about 60 now.

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Thinking of you

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Thank you so much for keeping us all updated...We all really want the best for all of you as you deal with the loss of your sister.....

I think about you often and wonder how this is affecting your personal journey.....

All my good thoughts go out to you and your family...

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Lyndsey, Wishing you a happy and healthy 2014 and that you receive information soon. Thank you for sharing your story with us. I am grateful to find information about all outcomes so that people can make an informed choice.

Lynda

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Thank you for the update. The holidays are the roughest to get through especially with children involved. I have often thought of you and your family. My thoughts and prayers continue as you are going through all of this. We are here for you!

Kelli/Beach Lover

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So sorry for your loss. You are right, her voice needs to be heard. She was a beautiful young women. My thought and prayers are with you and your family.

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Lyndsey, I'm so sorry for your loss. My family just went through Christmas #2 without my brother. I'd like to tell you it gets better, but..... I guess dealing with day to day does, but Holidays remain really tough. I sure hope you do get some answers with the autopsy. I always thought knowing the why would make it a little better. My brother died suddenly and unexpectedly and the autopsy (including full tox screen) could find no cause. It just made his death harder to accept. Again, I'm so sorry and thinking of you at this tough time.

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So sorry to hear ya story it just brought tears to my eyes that is so sad I hope u her three children n husband is doing much better. N yes she was very beautiful and a angel. :). But u r doing so well on ya journey n i wish ya sister could have been next to u but God had different plans. Wow stay strong:):)

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Thank you for sharing such a tragic time in your life with us. Such a beautiful girl. My heart breaks for her children and family. I am sorry for your loss. Stay strong for the little ones and keep that beautiful smile of hers alive by continuing to share memories of her with them.

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I am so sorry for your loss!

I'm wondering what the bariatric surgeon dis that made it so difficult for her to get help?

Why didn't they try to convert her to rny or remove her stomach altogether if he couldn't fix it?

So many questions...

I will keep your family in my prayers

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This is just scary, and heartbreaking. Im happy for your success story, but extremely sad that your sister is not here to share the journey. She absolutely lived by the phase " dying to be thin" this is not her fault, or the family's. Although you shared her story, Celebrate her life by you doing right by the surgery. Did you guys have the same doctor? This is definitely an eye opener. Keep us informed. You are in my heart.

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Thank you all.

As for what he did to make it so hard for her to get help: long story short he decided that there was nothing wrong with her and it was all in her head, and because doctors work on the "good old boy" system, they stopped looking. Finally, someone found that there WAS indeed a problem and she was just in the beginning process to get it fixed, she just didn't make it long enough. Its really sad because we do have all the same doctors... everything was identical. Her surgery was just two weeks before mine. Its been a huge source of guilt and saddness for me because we should be on this journey together. I should have been celebrating these new SIZE EIGHT! jeans with my big sister.. but now I don't even Celebrate the milestones... its just another day...

As for how I am doing. I started at 255, got down to 150 new years day, and because I have started doing a 30 day ab challenge I am back to 152, but I think that 2 lbs is definatly lactic acid and fluids... because my abs hurt so bad!! But, I hope to tone up now that I am in my goal of size 8 jeans. I think I might actually get down to a size six before its all said and done because I wanted to get into the 130's for my weight, so I think if I loose that last 13 lbs to get to 139 that might drop me into a six. I am fine with that... I dont celebrate like I should, because I am so alone. It was just me and my sister. I have a husband, and wonderful parents (who watch everything I do like a hawk because they're scared to death that something is going to happen to me now) but my sister and I did this together... she is supposed to be here to do all this with me... I miss her.

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I'm so sorry that your sister didn't get the help she needed. Thank you for being her voice and telling her story. I'm so sorry for your loss.

Edited by adaisyandarose

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    • LeighaTR

      I am new here today... and only two weeks out from my sleeve surgery on the 23rd. I am amazed I have kept my calories down to 467 today so far... that leaves me almost 750 left for dinner and maybe a snack. This is going to be tough for two weeks... but I have to believe I can do it!
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
    • Doughgurl

      Hey everyone. I'm new here so I thought I should introduce myself. I am 53y/o and am scheduled for Gastric Bypass on June 25th, 2025. I'm located in San Antonio, Texas. I will be having my surgery in Tiajuana Mexico. I've wanted this for years, but I always had insurance where bariatric procedures were excluded. Finally I am able to afford to pay out of pocket.  I can't wait to get started, and I hope I'm prepared for the initial period of "hell". I know what I have signed up for, but I'm sure the good to come will out way the temporary period of discomfort and feelings of regret. I'd love to find people to talk to who have been through the same procedure or experience before. So I look forward to meeting you all. Hope you have a great week!
      · 2 replies
      1. Selina333

        I'm so happy for you! You are about to change your life. I was so glad to get the sleeve done in Dec. I didn't have feelings of regret overall. And I'm down almost 60 lbs. I do feel a little sad at restaurants. I can barely eat half a kid's meal. I get adults meals often because kid ones don't have the same offerings at times. Then I feel obligated to eat on that until it's gone and that can be days. So the restaurant thing isn't great for me. All the rest is fine by me! I love feeling full with very little. I do wish I could drink when eating. And will sip at the end. Just a strong habit to stop. But I'm working on it! You will do fine! Just keep focused on your desire to be different. Not better or worse. But different. I am happy both ways but my low back doesn't like me that heavy. So I listened (also my feet!). LOL! Update us on your journey! I'm not far from you. I'm in Houston. Good luck and I hope it all goes smoothly! Would love to see pics of the town you go to for this. I've never been there. Neat you will be traveling for this! Enjoy the journey. Take it one day at a time. Sometimes a few hours at a time. Follow all recommendations as best you can. 💗

      2. Doughgurl

        Thank you so much for your well wishes. I am hoping that everything goes easy for me as well. We don't eat out much as it is, so it wont be too bad in that department. Thankfully. Also, I hear you regarding your back and feet!! I'd like to add knees to the list. Killing me as we speak! I'm only 5' so the weight has to go. Too short to carry all this weight. Menopause really did a doosey on me. (😶lol) My daughter also lives in Houston. with her Husband and my 5 grand-littles. I grew up in Beaumont, so I know Houston well, I will be sure to keep in touch and update you on my journey. I may need some advice in the future, or just motivation. Thank You so much for reaching out, I was hoping to connect with someone in the community. I really appreciate it. 💜

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. LeighaTR

        I hope your surgery on Wednesday goes well. You will be able to do all sorts of new things as you find your new normal after surgery. I don't know this from experience yet, but I am seeing a lot of positive things from people who have had it done. Best of luck!

    • Alisa_S

      On day 4 of the 2 week liquid pre-op diet. Surgery scheduled for June 11th.
      Soooo I am coming to a realization
      of something and I'm not sure what to do about it. For years the only thing I've enjoyed is eating. We rarely do anything or go anywhere and if we do it always includes food. Family comes over? Big family dinner! Go camping? Food! Take a short ride or trip? Food! Holiday? Food! Go out of town for a Dr appointment? Food! When we go to a new town we don't look for any attractions, we look for restaurants we haven't been to. Heck, I look forward to getting off work because that means it's almost supper time. Now that I'm drinking these pre-op shakes for breakfast, lunch, and supper I have nothing to look forward to.  And once I have surgery on June 11th it'll be more of the same shakes. Even after pureed stage, soft food stage, and finally regular food stage, it's going to be a drastic change for the rest of my life. I'm giving up the one thing that really brings me joy. Eating. How do you cope with that? What do you do to fill that void? Wow. Now I'm sad.
      · 1 reply
      1. summerseeker

        Life as a big person had limited my life to what I knew I could manage to do each day. That was eat. I hadn't anything else to look forward to. So my eating choices were the best I could dream up. I planned the cooking in managable lots in my head and filled my day with and around it.

        Now I have a whole new big, bigger, biggest, best days ever. I am out there with those skinny people doing stuff i could never have dreamt of. Food is now an after thought. It doesn't consume my day. I still enjoy the good home cooked food but I eat smaller portions. I leave food on my plate when I am full. I can no longer hear my mother's voice saying eat it all up, ther are starving children in Africa who would want that!

        I still cook for family feasts, I love cooking. I still do holidays but I have changed from the All inclusive drinking and eating everything everyday kind to Self catering accommodation. This gives me the choice of cooking or eating out as I choose. I rarely drink anymore as I usually travel alone now and I feel I need to keep aware of my surroundings.

        I don't know at what point my life expanded, was it when I lost 100 pounds? Was it when I left my walking stick at home ? Was it when I said yes to an outing instead of finding an excuse to stay home ? i look back at my last five years and wonder how loosing weight has made such a difference. Be ready to amaze yourself.

        BTW, the liquid diet sucks, one more day and you are over the worst. You can do it.

    • CaseyP1011

      Officially here for a long time, not just a good time💪
      · 0 replies
      1. This update has no replies.
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