Tightropes and Teeter Totters

[DLCoggin 1,788]

Today, Oct 20th, marks my second anniversary of this surgery we call RnY. In a very real sense it feels like the second birthday of the new and improved me. I can't help but reflect back on all of the changes that the last two years have seen. And at the same time, thinking in terms of new goals and challenges for the coming year.

The first year following my surgery was an exciting time indeed. I was laser focused on one thing - achieving my optimum weight. I decided even before my surgery that rather than set a specific goal weight, I would allow my body to tell me when it was where it wanted to be. Just over a year later, that message came at 155 lbs. My weight stabilized. I felt great. And in my one year follow-up visit with my surgeon, she recommended that I not lose any more. It was time to shift my thinking, and my actions, away from losing and toward maintaining the new, 130 lb lighter, me. I had reached my destination.

When I looked back at that first year, it occurred to me that is was much like what walking a tightrope would be. Maintaining an average calorie intake of just under 1300 calories a day was something of a delicate balancing act. There were days when I was over my goal. And those days had to be followed by "corrections" - days when I was under my goal. It was all about balance. And in the back of my mind the nagging, and always present fear that one misstep could result in all being lost. The more rational, confident part of me did not think that would happen. Still, I knew the surgery could be defeated. What if...

So in that same follow-up appointment, my surgeon recommended that I increase my calories to approximately 1800 a day. To be sure, the number had some appeal. But I was concerned that it might be too high. What if? So I opted for a gradual increase to a more conservative 1600 calorie goal. My decision was undoubtedly due in part to a concern that kept going through my mind. It seemed that everywhere I looked, I read that many (if not most) bariatric surgery patients gain 10-20 lbs somewhere between 12 to 18 months post-op. A weight gain that is often described as "bounce back". That was out of the question. I was determined to not let that happen. So my goal for this past year became ensuring that I held my weight at, or very close to, the 155 lb mark.

As the days and weeks went by my confidence grew. I decided it was time to really get to know my new body. I was tired of the balancing act. I wanted to enjoy a nice dinner at a nice restaurant with my wife, our family or friends. Or Celebrate a holiday or birthday enjoying the food that is inevitably part of festivities. I needed to test my limits. And I needed to know whether or not I had what it takes to do those things and still control my weight. Thanks to the amazing power of my food log, I got my answer. And it was in pursuit of that Quest that I discovered something quite remarkable.

First there was the occasional 1800 calorie day. Not surprisingly, the following morning weigh-in usually reflected a gain of a pound or so. So my calorie goal became 1400-1500 for the next day or two. And sure enough, my weight would drop back down. Not just once or twice, but a number of times over the weeks and months that followed. Then came the occasional 2000 calorie day. Not often, but every now and then. Weight went up. Calories were reduced for a day or two. Weight came back down.

At some point along the way I had a revelation. Controlling your weight is not about walking a tightrope - it's about riding a teeter totter. Up...and down. Up...and down. Gently. Relaxed. No fear. One misstep is not catastrophic. Wow.

Since hitting the 155 lb mark almost a year ago, my weight has never been more than 156, or less than 151. This morning, this second anniversary of the new me, 152.2. No bounce back. Wow.

So my goal for the coming year? More of the same. I have read in many places, including this forum, that maintaining your weight becomes more difficult after the two year mark. But I will be facing that new challenge coming not from a place of fear, but of vigilance. My food log will guide me. And it will tell the story. So next year, same time, same place - the next chapter in this amazing, life-changing journey.

[music1618 879]

Well You have done amazing and the knowledge you share on the boards is amazing. I have learned so much from you and all your research.

The one thing I have realized during my journey is the power of our brains. It controls so much and if you can learn about it and accept your brain the journey is like a teeter totter and the fear of the tightrope goes away.

[Truckerchic 171]

Very well said, im pretty new to this forum but have been working towards my surgery date of Oct 30 for many years, I have sought out many of your post as you offer a lot of insight and knowledge .....thank you for inspiring me!