Just when you think it's about to be smooth sailing.......BAM!

[mswisdom 42]

I went to my pre-op class today and got all the information I needed for surgery Nov. 5th. I needed to get babysitting so went next door and asked my neighbors if they could watch the kids because Bianca (my daughter) will be at the hospital with me all day and three kids with her would just be too much.They said it wouldn't be no problem and I just waited for my daughter to come so I can let her know the details of next week.

Well......she came in and told her that she signed up for school, it's from 9am til 2pm and she needed my help for the next two weeks. I asked her when did the classes start, she told me Monday. What!!!!!! I asked her how the f%ck was I getting to surgery on Tuesday? She asked what time was my surgery, then said she would drop me off (she doesn't even know that my stuff is suppose to stay in the car until I get a room). She left out after that and when I went to the store with her baby she decided to go hang out. That's children for ya!

I am so upset that I can't even see straight. If the shoe was on the other foot I would be expected to bust my %ss so I could be there...why?....cause i'm her mother? I was told to go talk to her about her classes, she said she forgot the date (I just gave her the date thursday October 24th). I asked could she change her class, she said that she would call and try but she's not trying to wait 9 months for a class to start. I told her that I've been working on this for 7 months.....then added "it seems like she just wants to see me stay fat!" she claimed it's not that....I just walked off.

This is straight bull and I don't know what i'm going to do, if I have to i'm just going to drive myself and let that be that. I went through too many humps to get here just to let it fall by the wayside by an inconsiderate child.

Just needed to get this off my chest.

[lsereno 2,525]

Check with your surgery center and see if someone has to accompany you or pick you up.

Lynda

[cindymg 629]

I feel so bad for you. Sounds like a little passive aggression is going on there. Is she not supportive of your decision?

Is there another family member that could accompany you? I paid the airfare for my sister to be with me for surgery and a few days afterwards. I had friends that volunteered, but I really wanted family around.

I hope it works out for you. Let us know.

[mswisdom 42]

I told my story to my neighbor who called our friend across the hall who has a drivers license and she is more than happy to drive me there in my car. You don't know what a relief it is for her to do that and Barbara will ride along with her. They are both going to stay until I get my room then bring me my belongings before heading back home.

And don't know what Bianca's problem is but I am grateful that my neighbours stepped up. Funny thing is I stay to myself most of the time and even though we laughed from time to time in the breeze way I don't mix that much. I am truly blessed. Now I have to just focus on making this last check to hold me over until I get back to work.

7 days and a wake up.....I am sooo ready!

[ATTACH]20310[/ATTACH]

Today at the doctors office. Weighed in at 370.5 (home scale read 366.6....but then again I was naked at home. Ha ha)

[back2barb78 890]

If everything is good with childcare, I would look into a car service or taxi and take my bag with me. The hospital will figure it out. Don't let anyone or anything that's an easy fix upset you so much. Yes she should be assisting you when she said she would, but what's most important is YOU getting there! One thing I've learned is that I can only truly count on myself and to have a plan B. Childcare would be the only thing I would truly worry about. If you have to go with the clothes on your back!! {)i(} Sent from my iPhone using VST {)i(}

Edited October 29, 2013 by back2barb78

[mswisdom 42]

Thankfully everything is now in place. My child will spend the night with the neighbors kids and go to school from there the next day. I'm putting them on the list so he can be picked up after school and he'll remain there until I get home. My mother is coming to the house to sit with me once I'm home (she's 77 and has a walker so she'll just be around to make sure I don't get a fever) I'm her youngest so she's the type that will just sit at the foot of the bed and look at me..."Mom go watch tv or something!" Ha ha

I am ready to go and comfortable with my plans.....My Plan C: To drive myself, bring my bag in and say I was dropped off. I figure I can find someone to pick up me & my car for the trip home, most of my friends work til 5pm so it will be easier for them to get me than it is to drop me off.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

I went to my pre-op class today and got all the information I needed for surgery Nov. 5th. I needed to get babysitting so went next door and asked my neighbors if they could watch the kids because Bianca (my daughter) will be at the hospital with me all day and three kids with her would just be too much.They said it wouldn't be no problem and I just waited for my daughter to come so I can let her know the details of next week.

Well......she came in and told her that she signed up for school, it's from 9am til 2pm and she needed my help for the next two weeks. I asked her when did the classes start, she told me Monday. What!!!!!! I asked her how the f%ck was I getting to surgery on Tuesday? She asked what time was my surgery, then said she would drop me off (she doesn't even know that my stuff is suppose to stay in the car until I get a room). She left out after that and when I went to the store with her baby she decided to go hang out. That's children for ya!

I am so upset that I can't even see straight. If the shoe was on the other foot I would be expected to bust my %ss so I could be there...why?....cause i'm her mother? I was told to go talk to her about her classes, she said she forgot the date (I just gave her the date thursday October 24th). I asked could she change her class, she said that she would call and try but she's not trying to wait 9 months for a class to start. I told her that I've been working on this for 7 months.....then added "it seems like she just wants to see me stay fat!" she claimed it's not that....I just walked off.

This is straight bull and I don't know what i'm going to do, if I have to i'm just going to drive myself and let that be that. I went through too many humps to get here just to let it fall by the wayside by an inconsiderate child.

Just needed to get this off my chest.

For some reason I'm guessing my opinion won't be well received but I can deal.

I totally understand your frustration and annoyance. It sucks to depend on someone and have them let you down and I'm thrilled to hear that you were able to work it out. That said, I would never ask my child to put off her education for an elective surgery. She doesn't determine class start dates, I assume, and it's not fair of you to ask her to put off her life for an entire semester to accommodate you.

You don't need someone at the hospital and the staff there can handle your belongings. All you really need is a ride there and a ride home. I didn't want my husband to take a vacation day from work (I'd much rather spend that precious time somewhere tropical) so he took me, waited as long as he could and came back nine hours later when he got off. He only stayed 15 minutes or so so that he could get home to our kids and I had my mom drive me home the next day. No big deal. Certainly not worth the anger.

I don't think she is being selfish or inconsiderate. She is living her life. If she had planned a spa day or a trip to the mall, you would be totally justified in your feelings, but education trumps a ride to the hospital in my opinion.

Would you bust your ass to help her? I bet you would because you are the parent. That's the way it works. Is our hard work always repaid 100%? Eh...maybe not but that's ok. I exist to see my kids thrive and the fact that she is working on improving her life through education just as your are through surgery should make you proud.

Good luck to you!

[mswisdom 42]

For some reason I'm guessing my opinion won't be well received but I can deal.

I totally understand your frustration and annoyance. It sucks to depend on someone and have them let you down and I'm thrilled to hear that you were able to work it out. That said' date=' I would never ask my child to put off her education for an elective surgery. She doesn't determine class start dates, I assume, and it's not fair of you to ask her to put off her life for an entire semester to accommodate you.

You don't need someone at the hospital and the staff there can handle your belongings. All you really need is a ride there and a ride home. I didn't want my husband to take a vacation day from work (I'd much rather spend that precious time somewhere tropical) so he took me, waited as long as he could and came back nine hours later when he got off. He only stayed 15 minutes or so so that he could get home to our kids and I had my mom drive me home the next day. No big deal. Certainly not worth the anger.

I don't think she is being selfish or inconsiderate. She is living her life. If she had planned a spa day or a trip to the mall, you would be totally justified in your feelings, but education trumps a ride to the hospital in my opinion.

Would you bust your ass to help her? I bet you would because you are the parent. That's the way it works. Is our hard work always repaid 100%? Eh...maybe not but that's ok. I exist to see my kids thrive and the fact that she is working on improving her life through education just as your are through surgery should make you proud.

Good luck to you![/quote']

You're right...it's not received well. You have no idea of the back story of me and that child, and I'm all for her getting her education. She PURPOSELY went out and signed up KNOWING she committed to taking me to the hospital. You don't do things like that. Now she had a court appearance for Friday Oct.25th and she wanted me to be there, I made Sure not to go to work that day, take her older child to the babysitter, wake up extra early to get there on time.....for what? For her to call me two hours later saying she overslept and missed court altogether. But I'm expected to bend over backwards for her right? Cause I'm her mom huh? That should have been the writing on the wall for me that day because if she can't be there to secure her own child why would she not plan something else for me?

I don't care what you say, this is surgery and there's always a risk, there's no way in h%ll I would go out and plan something else when my mom is going in the hospital. My son called me yesterday and said that he's going to take off work to come down from NY and be with me. He said he doesn't care if he loses his job because he wants to make sure his mother is alright (and he has two small kids that he's raising). That's the difference in my children's mind set.

So thanks for your opinion.....but you don't know what your talking about.

[LipstickLady 25,682]

You're right...it's not received well. You have no idea of the back story of me and that child, and I'm all for her getting her education. She PURPOSELY went out and signed up KNOWING she committed to taking me to the hospital. You don't do things like that. Now she had a court appearance for Friday Oct.25th and she wanted me to be there, I made Sure not to go to work that day, take her older child to the babysitter, wake up extra early to get there on time.....for what? For her to call me two hours later saying she overslept and missed court altogether. But I'm expected to bend over backwards for her right? Cause I'm her mom huh? That should have been the writing on the wall for me that day because if she can't be there to secure her own child why would she not plan something else for me?

I don't care what you say, this is surgery and there's always a risk, there's no way in h%ll I would go out and plan something else when my mom is going in the hospital. My son called me yesterday and said that he's going to take off work to come down from NY and be with me. He said he doesn't care if he loses his job because he wants to make sure his mother is alright (and he has two small kids that he's raising). That's the difference in my children's mind set.

So thanks for your opinion.....but you don't know what your talking about.

So you would rather her put off her future for an entire semester or school year for your surgery? As I stated, if she was doing something frivolous with her time, I would be cussing her right along with you (well, probably not -- not a good parenting tool), but we are talking about SCHOOL, her FUTURE, her possible livelihood.

As for her court case, that's your choice, not your job. I can tell you that if it was my child that had a court case that she needed me to help her with, I would have been at her door and I would have dragged her butt there myself to make sure that she was on time, because again, her future is at risk if it was a criminal matter.

You are correct, I don't know your backstory. I don't know your history. I don't know you and I don't know your child. I do, however, know that as a parent, my child's education would come before anything else, including surgery. If something were to go wrong, there is nothing my children could do to stop it and they don't need to be there for it. She said she could take you and if sitting there while you are in surgery and the recovery room for hours is more important to you than her going to school, so be it. I don't understand it, but I certainly won't argue your choice to feel the way you do.

Good luck on your journey!

[dbsylvest 21]

Just a thought. Let her live her life and u figure out how to live yours at some point "us" Moms have todo for ourselves first and stop enabling others to misuse us.

[caroline2 89]

I'm sorry for the difficulty you are having. In my opinion if child care is worked out, I would drive myself to the hospital. That does not mean you have to drive home, you can arrange to get your car home. I'm sure the hospital can take care of your bags. If not, could your daughter bring later that day? Best of luck to you!

[No game 14,436]

You're right...it's not received well. You have no idea of the back story of me and that child' date=' and I'm all for her getting her education. She PURPOSELY went out and signed up KNOWING she committed to taking me to the hospital. You don't do things like that. Now she had a court appearance for Friday Oct.25th and she wanted me to be there, I made Sure not to go to work that day, take her older child to the babysitter, wake up extra early to get there on time.....for what? For her to call me two hours later saying she overslept and missed court altogether. But I'm expected to bend over backwards for her right? Cause I'm her mom huh? That should have been the writing on the wall for me that day because if she can't be there to secure her own child why would she not plan something else for me? I don't care what you say, this is surgery and there's always a risk, there's no way in h%ll I would go out and plan something else when my mom is going in the hospital. My son called me yesterday and said that he's going to take off work to come down from NY and be with me. He said he doesn't care if he loses his job because he wants to make sure his mother is alright (and he has two small kids that he's raising). That's the difference in my children's mind set. So thanks for your opinion.....but you don't know what your talking about.[/quote']

So you would rather her put off her future for an entire semester or school year for your surgery? As I stated' date=' if she was doing something frivolous with her time, I would be cussing her right along with you (well, probably not -- not a good parenting tool), but we are talking about SCHOOL, her FUTURE, her possible livelihood. As for her court case, that's your choice, not your job. I can tell you that if it was my child that had a court case that she needed me to help her with, I would have been at her door and I would have dragged her butt there myself to make sure that she was on time, because again, her future is at risk if it was a criminal matter. You are correct, I don't know your backstory. I don't know your history. I don't know you and I don't know your child. I do, however, know that as a parent, my child's education would come before anything else, including surgery. If something were to go wrong, there is nothing my children could do to stop it and they don't need to be there for it. She said she could take you and if sitting there while you are in surgery and the recovery room for hours is more important to you than her going to school, so be it. I don't understand it, but I certainly won't argue your choice to feel the way you do. Good luck on your journey![/quote']

Eating my popcorn, clutching my pearls....

[LipstickLady 25,682]

Eating my popcorn, clutching my pearls....

Girl, I've pissed off three people I didn't give birth to today already. Don't sit too close to me, you might get hit with something.

[No game 14,436]

Bring it on. I bet I'm in a worse mood!

[soocalchic 1,087]

What's up with all the angry folks this morning? Binge on some halloween candy and smile ????